SWIZZLE 2004
H A N G O VE R
H E L L
THE CRUELTY COME SUNDAY MORNING. BY JONATHAN AMABISCA
T
he worst thing after a good, hard
night of drinking is when you
wake up the next day needing to
throw up and stuck with mud butt.
Trying to choreograph the activity so
you can puke up most of what’s about
to run down your pants before the
dam breaks is a human extreme in
itself. Those are the worst kind of
hangovers. I’ve never sworn I would-
n’t drink again, never gone down the
road of prayer or dark arts in order to
get through the pain. Nay, instead I
curse the gods: Damn you for making
my body weak to temptation and
Bacardi 151. Damn it all, indeed.
Surviving the hangover is about
three things: prevention, prevention
and prevention! A survey done in
2001 by Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief
found that it takes about three drinks
for a hangover to begin insinuating
itself into your system. Doesn’t sound
like much, and “much” is what makes
a night worthwhile. But keeping a
steady pace of one drink per hour will
help to curb the tide, limiting a hang-
over’s power. Adding bread and
water to the evening’s carousing will
also dilute the alcoholic effect. May
take longer to get intoxicated, but it
will absorb all the nastiness, for the
most part.
For hangover extremes, scientists
have — no joke — invented a pill.
The Russians, after 25 years of
drunken research, have developed
RU-21. It’s the hangover pill
designed to combat the growing Red
Bull/Vodka trend, my personal
favorite. RU-21 is said to limit the
flow of the alcohol into the organs,
thus preventing a hangover and liver
damage all in one.
If you Google this wonder reme-
dy, you’ll find it next to Zeo, the
American version of the “party with-
out the pain” hangover pill. Maxim
magazine stands by First Call, an all-
natural alcohol fighter. A dose per
two to three drinks is supposed to
leave you guilt free the next morning.
But if you’re like me and pill pop-
ping doesn’t sound like such a hot
form for a hangover remedy, get back
to the basics: good ol’ greasy food. It
may not sound so tasty, but the effects
are phenomenal. Think of the nuclear
breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage, ham,
toast and some orange juice, all per-
SCIENCE: HARD AT WORK ON THE HANGOVER.
. . . if you’re like me and
pill popping doesn’t
sound like such a hot form
for a hangover remedy,
get back to the basics:
good ol’ greasy food. It
may not sound so tasty,
but the effects are
phenomenal.
fect forces to battle the darkness of
hangover. It’s like this meal was sole-
ly designed to cure early man of
hangoveritis. If all else fails, even
KFC’s greasy chicken can help out,
and I swear by that. Taken with some
Gatorade to re-hydrate the body and
the mind, the effects of a debilitating
hangover are neutralized in just a
couple of hours. I mean, if you can
invest a whole night damaging vital
organs and irreplaceable brain cells,
the least you can do the next day is
give the body a good breakfast. Or
just don’t drink so damn much, mud
butt.
ew
Not ready for the night to end?
Cap off the evening with
a relaxing hot tub in a
private room at the
Salsa
SPRINGFIELD
by Jenny & Mario
DANCE LESSONS
SPAS & TANNING
Now offering massage!
Open: 12pm-2am Sun.-Thurs.
12pm-4am Fri.-Sat.
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741-1777
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FOR MORE INFO: 342-3021
mario@eugenesalsa.com
C L A S S E S H E L D AT:
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2 6 8 1 W I L L A M E T T E S T.
683-3154
X-BOX LOUNGE TOURNEY NIGHTS
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844 Olive Street • Downtown (Near John Henry’s) • 345-8489
www.eugeneweekly.com
SWIZZLE APRIL 1, 2004 11