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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (May 8, 2003)
Sell Your Wheels Advertise your car with a FREE photo. $10/week, 3 week min. 484-0519 classy@eugeneweekly.com Week of May 8 ROB BREZSNY’S FREE WILL ASTROLOGY have more patience is like commanding a bonfire to burn in slow motion. Nevertheless, I am at least going to make the effort. Therefore, please be aware that if you would like to place yourself in maximum alignment with cosmic trends, you should find a way to be perfectly content as you watch and wait; you should figure out how to enjoy dwelling calmly in a state of trusting faith; and you should fantasize freely about the delights that will come to you if you cultivate quiet, relaxed confidence. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Before the 1820s, the mosquito was unknown in Hawaii. But when whaling ships from distant lands began visiting, they brought hordes of the annoying creatures as stowaways in their water casks. I sug- gest you keep this scenario in mind in the coming week, Taurus; let it serve as a warning beacon. According to my astrological assessment, the new world you have recently begun to inhabit resembles a paradise without mosquitoes. You may have to take special measures to keep it that way, like prohibiting whaling ships from dropping anchor in your harbor — or the metaphori- cal equivalent. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I hope you have a spiritual path. It doesn’t matter what kind, as long as you have some relationship with a benevolent source of life and love beyond your little ego. Having said that, I also want to advocate the importance of not taking your spiritual path too damn seri- ously. Grave fanaticism in any form, even if devoted to a noble cause, is dangerous not only to your mental health, but also to that of the people around you. This week it will be especially important for you to be playfully mocking toward that which you hold most sacred. Examples? Put underwear on a Buddha stat- ue, insert a dirty limerick into your prayers to the Goddess, enjoy some heavy petting in a synagogue, visualize yourself tick- ling Jesus. CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’m on my peri- odic Oracular Scavenger Hunt, wandering the globe trolling for fresh metaphors to inspire my prophecies. While visiting the Hawaiian island of Molokai, I’ve found one that is a good fit for your current astrological aspects. Though many roads criss- cross Molokai’s 260-square-mile expanse, there is not a single traffic signal anywhere. By my reckoning, this closely resembles the terrain you will be traveling over in the next two weeks: not a red light in sight. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I’d like to give fair warning to your inner critic, your pessimistic tendencies, and the part of your psyche that harbors lowered expectations. In the coming months, the astrological omens will be compelling me to fore- cast a high level of health, happiness, and “hallelujah”-shouting. So if you would prefer to remain stuck in outmoded fantasies about your unworthiness, I suggest you avoid my horoscopes for the foreseeable future. If, on the other hand, you’re ready to boost your faith in your ability to get what you want, please stay tuned. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’m smarter in some parts of the earth than in others. In Florence, Amsterdam, and Milwaukee, my IQ is off the charts. In Munich, Madrid, and Washington, D.C., I’m rather dull-witted. Even in Northern California, where I usually live, some places are more con- ducive to my higher brain functioning. I’m an idiot on Market Street in San Francisco, for example, whereas I’m awash in wise insights whenever I set foot on Mt. Tamalpais. What’s this about? The specialized branch of astrology called astrocartogra- phy would say that the full potentials of my horoscope are more likely to emerge in certain power spots. In the coming weeks, Virgo, I urge you to investigate the possibility that this phenom- enon holds true for you, too. Wander around and test to see where you feel most in tune with your deep, brilliant self. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): At a recent concert, devotional singer Krishna Das recounted a story of escorting his revered teachers, a frail old Indian couple, to an acupuncturist in New York. They had to walk through a neighborhood dominat- ed by strip clubs, prostitutes, and drug dealers. Every few feet, a new salesperson approached with an offer of crack, weed, crank, or sexual adventures. Krishna Das worried about sub- jecting his beloved guides to such a degrading experience, but they were unfazed. “This is heaven,” said the woman. When a surprised Krishna Das asked what she meant, she replied, “Heaven is any place where one’s needs can be met.” My wish for you this week, Libra, is that you be as open-minded as she was about where heaven might reside for you. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio actress Rachel Ticotin has appeared in many movies, including Con Air, Natural Born Killers, and Full Disclosure, but my favorite is Total Recall. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, it’s a science fiction thriller that largely takes place on a human colony on Mars. Ticotin plays a sleazy but demure hooker who is secretly a rebel freedom fighter plotting to overthrow the cor- rupt, oppressive government. Can you imagine any better role for a Scorpio? It’s a perfect example of how your tribe’s dark side can be expressed constructively. I suggest you find or cre- ate your own equivalent in the coming weeks. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A British veterinarian nurse saved the life of a five-foot king snake a few weeks ago. While giving birth, Nipper stopped breathing, whereupon Claire Farina administered mouth-to-mouth resusci- tation until the creature’s respiration resumed. I’m not predict- ing that you will literally give the kiss of life to a serpent in the coming week, Sagittarius, but I imagine you’ll pull off the metaphorical equivalent. How, exactly, I can’t say. Will you res- cue a hissing slitherer? Will you expand your capacity to express wild kindness? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): After much research, I decided to stay at the Napili Sunset condo during my stay in Maui. The travel guide promised me that for a modest price I’d enjoy spacious views of ocean and garden. And now as I sit composing your horoscope on my lanai at the Napili Sunset, I can indeed see aquamarine waves break- ing majestically in the distance. In the foreground, my eyes are thrilled by the sight of lush orange hibiscus flowers and red torch ginger. The only element not mentioned in the guidebook is a parking lot where there’s a large dumpster crammed so full of garbage bags that the lid can’t close. Will I let this intrusion spoil my idyllic enjoyment? Hell, no. Likewise, Capricorn, I hope you won’t let a single glitch darken your otherwise fantastic run of good fortune in the coming week. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “I am superior to you only in one point,” Narcissus tells Goldmund in Herman Hesse’s novel Narcissus and Goldmund. “I’m awake, whereas you are only half awake, or completely asleep some- times. I call a man awake who knows in his conscious reason his innermost unreasonable force, drives, and weaknesses, and knows how to deal with them.” I am borrowing this pithy little speech for your horoscope, Aquarius. You, too, are only half- awake. But you’re now in prime time to find out much more about your innermost unreasonable force, drives, and weak- nesses — and become more skilled in dealing with them PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Western science and religion have differing views on how the universe was cre- ated, but they agree that it happened a long time ago. Tantra and other less publicized spiritual traditions, on the other hand, assert that the universe is recreated anew in every moment through the divinely erotic play of God and Goddess. They say that if we humans treat love-making as an experimental sacra- ment, we can attune ourselves to the union of the two primal deities and, in a sense, participate in the ongoing creation of the world. So are you up for some cosmos-generating sex this week, Pisces? The astrological omens say you are. Homework: Make a prediction about what age you will be when you finally know exactly who you are. Testify at www.freewillas- trology.com. You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE: 1-900-950-7700 • $1.99 per minute • Touchtone phone 18 & over • c/s 612-373-9785 38 MAY 8, 2003 See something you like? Respond to an ad! Call: 1-888-652-6385 v m A accepted or 1-900-226-2436, $1.89/min. 18 or older. women Seeking Men 52 DWF. Bright, outdoorsy, politically progressive, no BS but playful personality. Values integrity, heartfullness. Looking for same in grown-up gentleman for hikes, conversations, fun exploring magnificent NW land- scape. ☎ 8422 (private party only) ARIES (March 21-April 19): Advising an Aries to Personals 52, EYES OF BLUE You can be you, I can be me. As long as you’re not out of your tree. Friends first. Walks, movies, music, laughter, scrabble, animal lover. NS. ☎ 8413 2 SECRETARY birds, 20, caged up in gloomy office. ISO young “boss-man,” 20-30, to provide strong perch for swiveling. Eager to take dictation & bend over desks all day. ☎ 8408 MORE THAN SKIN DEEP SWF, full-figured, ISO SWM, 38- 47. My sense of humor, intellect, generosity & passion should be more important than my non-bar- bie doll looks. ☎ 8405 INTUITION IS EVERYTHING You’ll ruin me for other men... You: under 40, good taste in music, food, friends. Your aes- thetics not so important. Me: lim- inal, 20s, tall, dog person. LTR possible but not important. Bijou? ☎ 8404 RAIN GODDESS seeks gar- dener. Must be SWM, 30-40, at least 5’11” & 175 lbs. Muscular & rugged, NS, vegetarian. Me: 5’4”, 120 lbs., waiting. ☎ 8403 DON’T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN Puppet on a string. Don’t talk to me as if I’m dumb (I’m not). I need to know when you’re gonna come (sooner than later?) Summer is near. Show me you want me. ☎ 8361 PLAYFUL, PETITE pixie seeks NS intelligent communicative playmate 42-52 for hiking, biking, backpacking, skiing, spiritual encounters, cooking, dancing, quiet evenings, romance, grow- ing together, soulmate? LTR? ☎ 8352 SEEKING MY BEST FRIEND DWF, 51, 5’3”. Likes movies, din- ing out, TV, hanging, touching, dancing, computers, hot-tub, people. Not sports-minded. Seek stable, honest, funny, open-mind- ed, considerate, communicative D/SWM, 41-59, under 200 lbs. ☎ 8351 READY TO HAVE FUN Career, great. Children, grown. Marriage, over. Looking for healthy, mature playmate. ☎ 8349 GET BACK IN THE GAME Looking to stir it up this summer. If you’re not too old, but not too young, for a good time of dance, outdoor adventures, good con- versation & romance, call me. ☎ 8348 ARE YOU up to par? Do you like the coast? New adventures, get along well with others? Let’s call each other first. Take it from there. What do you say? ☎ 8343 SHE IS (and being her friends, we would know) a lovely woman with a joyful sense of humor. She loves the sensuous things in life: good wine, good food. She has an ear for good conversation. Also, loves music from jazz to a bit of disco, ‘cuz the girl can dance! Looking for SPM, 40-50, with sim- ilar likes. NS, ND. Flexibility and warm spirit a must. ☎ 8263 IN YOUR FACE I’m looking for a face with: smile lines from belly laughs, crow’s feet from compassion, forehead lines from deep thinking & lip creases from extraordinary amounts of kissing. Spirituality = extra points. I’m small, smart & sexy. ☎ 8261 CYNICAL? Placing ads can be a waste of time, but what the hell? Me: not a waste of time, not immature, employed, sense of imagination, good camping gear. You: hopeful- ly all the above? Let’s make the glass half full. ☎ 8259 43 Y.O. WOMAN Looking for a loving, compassion- ate, honest man for friendship & romance. ND, NS, light drink. Possible LTR or not. ☎ 8253 SEEKING MALE COM- PANIONSHIP I want a Christian male compan- ion with similar interests; a spe- cial someone in my life. ☎ 8243 LOVE BECOMES YOU So much the better to laugh, love, play together when one knows the Dharma, is NS, ND, spiritual, over 57. Movies, biking, walks, veggies, scrabble & so much more. ☎ 8201 BIG DRIVE & EQUIPMENT? You’re around 50 something, ready to live together with lots of servicing each other. I’m sexy, stocky, busty. I need you to be kind, funny & what’s mentioned above. XOXO ☎ 8185 MID-LIFE CRISIS! Need someone to share my good life. Vibrant, soulful, down-to-earth intellectual seeks Mr. (Almost) Perfect. Please be left of center, 53-63 & seeking LTR. NS. ☎ 8180 DINNER & A MOVIE? Generic? Yes. But I’ll sit across from you & undress you with my eyes. Let’s find pleasure in the small things. Saturday Market, road trips, cooking, sleeping together, shopping, drinking wine. No commitments, but who knows? ☎ 8173 I’M JUST WHAT You never knew you always wanted. Low-key, quirky, stylish, mid-20s, employed non-breeder. Lots of “wants”, not many “needs”. No neurotic, uncul- tured, overcologned losers. NS. NMB!!! ☎ 8171 men Seeking woMen BI-MALE SEEKS SAME BWM, 27, Bro/Bro, semi-hairy, looking for others with same interest. Let’s get together. ☎ 8428 SEEKING A playtoy. Me: 5’10”, 157, virile, intense, artistic, sensi- tive, swimming, nature, energetic body, breath, massages, dance, home life. Let’s play with heart. Got toys too. ☎ 8425 SWM, 40, ISO SWF, 35-45. Let’s see if we connect. Self-employed. ☎ 8424 SWM, 43, 5’10”, 175, NS, ND, healthy, unencumbered. Seek attractive, trustworthy, reflective female companion to share out- doors, culture, ourselves. Dates or soulmates. I’d love to talk & learn gracious living from you. ☎ 8421 IF YOU cherish your mind & body, if you enjoy books, movies & travel, flowers are always nec- essary, if adventures great & small beckon, write me at BLIND BOX:1947. Please be non-reli- gious, late 40s-50s, HWP, NS. RIDE MY Harley. Looking for ultimate Harley babe for summer cruising, friendship, maybe more. You: 25-38, trim, athletic, intelli- gent, sense of humor, self-suffi- cient, NS. Me: Trim, fit, profes- sional. ☎ 8420 NATURE, HIKING, bicycling, XC skiing, music, dining, wine, Bijou... General adventuring indoors & outdoors. SWPM, edu- cated, quirky sense of humor. ISO 30s educated SPF, NS. Possible LTR. ☎ 8415 GRUMPY SUGAR daddy needs sweet younger girlfriend. Come sit on daddy’s lap & tell me about your day while I brush your hair. ☎ 8409 ARE YOU THE ONE? I am a 25 y.o. male looking ulti- mately for some fun. I like to cud- dle, enjoy live music, vegetarian cooking, all outdoor activities & massages. For a unique & incred- ible experience, contact me. ☎ 8406 HANDSOME WELL- GROOMED man, 30s, 6’0”, 180 lbs. ISO very attractive Asian woman 20-30s for part time fun. Black hair & great body a +. D&D free please. ☎ 8359 THERE ARE only two great places to eat in this town - your place & mine. Persistent but underconfident chef, 56, seeks easily pleased woman who looks good in maple syrup. ☎ 8357 COME FLY with me. Amateur paraglider, 56, on love’s flattest hill. All we need is a strong head- wind & a couple of sturdy hel- mets. And maybe an ambulance on standby. ☎ 8356 THE SHY YET FUNNY GUY Who’s right for you? I’m looking for a gal, 18-25, tall, slender, to hang out or date or whatever. I’m 6’1”, 180 lb., average build, brown hair & hazel eyes. ☎ 8350 SOBER?? Good man. Attractive, kind, finan- cially secure, seeking LTR with softspoken, honest, intelligent, unpretentious, spiritual, monoga- mous, affectionate, environmen- tal woman who does NOT use alcohol/drugs. Prefer slender, long hair, no makeup, not employed. ☎ 8344 2 MUCH U, 2 LITTLE TIME You need happy changes, new doors. Bright, free, cute, lively 5’5”-6’, 150-190, 35-49, boda- ciously curvy, derriered, proud. Me: rich (kidding), nice, athletic, cute, 47, entertaining, unselfish. ☎ 8249 SMART & FUNNY SPM ISO bright, low-mainte- nance SPF who likes to laugh & go to the theatre. ☎ 8246 SUBSTANCE & ADVENTURE Eclectic, athletic man with a mul- titude of interests. Values humor, positive thinking & taking chances. ISO fit, intelligent 40- something woman with sense of adventure. ☎ 8241 SUBMISSIVE WOMAN WANTED Not seeking cook or maid. Me: attractive SWM, 6’, nicely built, non-balding dark hair, financially independent, health conscious, non-smoker, experienced, safe, gentle, creative, good conversa- tionalist. You: single, unattached, feminine, sensuous, healthy, childless. Write “Resident” POB 25160, Portland 97298. Include phone. ☎ 8234 THE BACHELOR in real life - not TV glamour. You: sweet, petite, no gold diggers. SW farm boy, NS, ND, LTR. I care! Don’t wait. ☎ 8198 NO WEIRDOS PLEASE SWM, 26, student, attractive, fun, slender, poor, happy, entertained. Seeks capable, fit, unmaterialis- tic, cute female confidant for major laughter, friendship, out- door fun, adventure & kicking back. ☎ 8194 ANTONIO BANDERAS type seek- ing educated, P, financially secure woman who enjoy hiking, biking, movies and international cuisine (under age 45). Possible LTR, NS, ND. ☎ 8190 VEGETARIAN DWM, 49, 5’7”, dark hair, NS, fit, easygoing, humorous, open- minded. Enjoys hiking, biking, the Oregon Coast, the blues, explor- ing, Scrabble. Seeking similar SWF. Friends first, possible LTR. ☎ 8187 PLACING PERSONALS ads is easy! The first 30 words are FREE, each additional word is $1. Message retrieval is FREE. Call 484-0519, x10 for more details. BASIC GUY DWM, 60, attractive, 5’8”, 190 lbs. Grey beard, blue eyes. Secure, honest, spiritual, open, romantic, affectionate, casual, spontaneous, humorous. Like simple things; photography, music, reading, movies, short trips. Let’s have fun. ☎ 8183 EARTH-CENTERED SPIRI- TIST. Compassionate, attractive, camping, hiking, sailing, swim- ming, gardening kind of guy. Values dignity over status or wealth. Truth-seeker, desires honesty, trust and equality in relationship. Devoted 1/2-time dad, 38, very fit. Musician, ath- lete, creatively quirky. Good at follow-thru. Solid job. ☎ 8181 I WANT an attractive SF age 26- 36. I WANT her to have a reason- ably flat tummy, but not be a toothpick. I WANT her to be affectionate, playful, passionate, open-minded & honest. A decent conversationalist with fair social skills who enjoys the outdoors & is herb friendly. A kinky side would also be appreciated. In return, I offer everything “I WANT” & more. LTR even possi- ble. ☎ 8175 THE SWEETNESS OF FRIENDSHIP SWM, 39, 5’10”, 240 lbs. Handsome, healthy, happy, strong, athletic, considerate, lov- ing & balanced. Looking for dar- ling companion. Smart, fun, lov- ing, physical, attractive, passion- ate, spiritual woman to explore, enjoy, experience, love. NS. ☎ 8133 Women Seeking woMen BI-CURIOUS ATTRAC- TIVE FEMALE Only toyed with the idea, now want to try it! Must be 20s, attractive, feminine & intelligent. Semi-inexperienced a plus. Only casual fun & must be clean. Green & alcohol friendly. ☎ 8416 FUN, SMART, cute, single, 38 yr old GWF seeks other dykes in their 30s for camaraderie, break- fast, hiking, movies, poker, work- ing out and other rowdy fun. Xena video library a plus. ☎ 8407 SBIF, 20S, looking for nice, open-minded SBiF. I’m going through some emotional stuff and would like to have some fun. Casual or friendship. Please be clean! ☎ 8353 STILL LOOKING for that spe- cial woman. Feminist lesbian, natural, centered, contemplative, cheerful, huggable & a little fat! Crone? Organic? Time to build a real relationship? Green. ☎ 8233 men Seeking Men GAY CHRISTIAN SEEKS Same to share laughter, conver- sation, honesty, creativity, adven- ture, support, tenderness. Me: 5’9”, 175, brown/brown, 47. Pinot noir, Bach, Bob Dylan, Burning Man. You: have dreams, passions, opinions, feelings, 30somethingish? ☎ 8423 FRIENDS FIRST Me: GWM, 29, grad. student, intelligent. You: GWM, 22-26, intelligent, masc. Bert seeks Ernie. David seeking Jonathan. Movies, dinner, hiking, music, conversation. HIV neg & STD free only. ☎ 8414 Do you want to place a personals ad? Ad placement and message retrieval are FREE! You can also purchase a Blind Box for letters for $15 . Call 484-0519, x10
