Sell
Your
Wheels
Advertise your car with
a FREE photo.
$10/week,
3 week min.
484-0519
classy@eugeneweekly.com
Week of May 8
ROB BREZSNY’S
FREE WILL
ASTROLOGY
have more patience is like commanding a bonfire to burn in
slow motion. Nevertheless, I am at least going to make the
effort. Therefore, please be aware that if you would like to place
yourself in maximum alignment with cosmic trends, you should
find a way to be perfectly content as you watch and wait; you
should figure out how to enjoy dwelling calmly in a state of
trusting faith; and you should fantasize freely about the delights
that will come to you if you cultivate quiet, relaxed confidence.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Before the 1820s,
the mosquito was unknown in Hawaii. But when whaling ships
from distant lands began visiting, they brought hordes of the
annoying creatures as stowaways in their water casks. I sug-
gest you keep this scenario in mind in the coming week, Taurus;
let it serve as a warning beacon. According to my astrological
assessment, the new world you have recently begun to inhabit
resembles a paradise without mosquitoes. You may have to take
special measures to keep it that way, like prohibiting whaling
ships from dropping anchor in your harbor — or the metaphori-
cal equivalent.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I hope you have a
spiritual path. It doesn’t matter what kind, as long as you have
some relationship with a benevolent source of life and love
beyond your little ego. Having said that, I also want to advocate
the importance of not taking your spiritual path too damn seri-
ously. Grave fanaticism in any form, even if devoted to a noble
cause, is dangerous not only to your mental health, but also to
that of the people around you. This week it will be especially
important for you to be playfully mocking toward that which you
hold most sacred. Examples? Put underwear on a Buddha stat-
ue, insert a dirty limerick into your prayers to the Goddess,
enjoy some heavy petting in a synagogue, visualize yourself tick-
ling Jesus.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’m on my peri-
odic Oracular Scavenger Hunt, wandering the globe trolling for
fresh metaphors to inspire my prophecies. While visiting the
Hawaiian island of Molokai, I’ve found one that is a good fit for
your current astrological aspects. Though many roads criss-
cross Molokai’s 260-square-mile expanse, there is not a single
traffic signal anywhere. By my reckoning, this closely resembles
the terrain you will be traveling over in the next two weeks: not
a red light in sight.
LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22): I’d like to give fair warning to
your inner critic, your pessimistic tendencies, and the part of
your psyche that harbors lowered expectations. In the coming
months, the astrological omens will be compelling me to fore-
cast a high level of health, happiness, and “hallelujah”-shouting.
So if you would prefer to remain stuck in outmoded fantasies
about your unworthiness, I suggest you avoid my horoscopes
for the foreseeable future. If, on the other hand, you’re ready to
boost your faith in your ability to get what you want, please stay
tuned.
VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’m smarter in some
parts of the earth than in others. In Florence, Amsterdam, and
Milwaukee, my IQ is off the charts. In Munich, Madrid, and
Washington, D.C., I’m rather dull-witted. Even in Northern
California, where I usually live, some places are more con-
ducive to my higher brain functioning. I’m an idiot on Market
Street in San Francisco, for example, whereas I’m awash in
wise insights whenever I set foot on Mt. Tamalpais. What’s this
about? The specialized branch of astrology called astrocartogra-
phy would say that the full potentials of my horoscope are more
likely to emerge in certain power spots. In the coming weeks,
Virgo, I urge you to investigate the possibility that this phenom-
enon holds true for you, too. Wander around and test to see
where you feel most in tune with your deep, brilliant self.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): At a recent concert,
devotional singer Krishna Das recounted a story of escorting his
revered teachers, a frail old Indian couple, to an acupuncturist
in New York. They had to walk through a neighborhood dominat-
ed by strip clubs, prostitutes, and drug dealers. Every few feet,
a new salesperson approached with an offer of crack, weed,
crank, or sexual adventures. Krishna Das worried about sub-
jecting his beloved guides to such a degrading experience, but
they were unfazed. “This is heaven,” said the woman. When a
surprised Krishna Das asked what she meant, she replied,
“Heaven is any place where one’s needs can be met.” My wish
for you this week, Libra, is that you be as open-minded as she
was about where heaven might reside for you.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio
actress Rachel Ticotin has appeared in many movies, including
Con Air, Natural Born Killers, and Full Disclosure, but my
favorite is Total Recall. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, it’s a
science fiction thriller that largely takes place on a human
colony on Mars. Ticotin plays a sleazy but demure hooker who is
secretly a rebel freedom fighter plotting to overthrow the cor-
rupt, oppressive government. Can you imagine any better role
for a Scorpio? It’s a perfect example of how your tribe’s dark
side can be expressed constructively. I suggest you find or cre-
ate your own equivalent in the coming weeks.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A
British veterinarian nurse saved the life of a five-foot king snake
a few weeks ago. While giving birth, Nipper stopped breathing,
whereupon Claire Farina administered mouth-to-mouth resusci-
tation until the creature’s respiration resumed. I’m not predict-
ing that you will literally give the kiss of life to a serpent in the
coming week, Sagittarius, but I imagine you’ll pull off the
metaphorical equivalent. How, exactly, I can’t say. Will you res-
cue a hissing slitherer? Will you expand your capacity to
express wild kindness?
CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
After much research, I decided to stay at the Napili Sunset
condo during my stay in Maui. The travel guide promised me
that for a modest price I’d enjoy spacious views of ocean and
garden. And now as I sit composing your horoscope on my lanai
at the Napili Sunset, I can indeed see aquamarine waves break-
ing majestically in the distance. In the foreground, my eyes are
thrilled by the sight of lush orange hibiscus flowers and red
torch ginger. The only element not mentioned in the guidebook is
a parking lot where there’s a large dumpster crammed so full of
garbage bags that the lid can’t close. Will I let this intrusion
spoil my idyllic enjoyment? Hell, no. Likewise, Capricorn, I hope
you won’t let a single glitch darken your otherwise fantastic run
of good fortune in the coming week.
AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “I am
superior to you only in one point,” Narcissus tells Goldmund in
Herman Hesse’s novel Narcissus and Goldmund. “I’m awake,
whereas you are only half awake, or completely asleep some-
times. I call a man awake who knows in his conscious reason
his innermost unreasonable force, drives, and weaknesses, and
knows how to deal with them.” I am borrowing this pithy little
speech for your horoscope, Aquarius. You, too, are only half-
awake. But you’re now in prime time to find out much more
about your innermost unreasonable force, drives, and weak-
nesses — and become more skilled in dealing with them
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Western science
and religion have differing views on how the universe was cre-
ated, but they agree that it happened a long time ago. Tantra
and other less publicized spiritual traditions, on the other hand,
assert that the universe is recreated anew in every moment
through the divinely erotic play of God and Goddess. They say
that if we humans treat love-making as an experimental sacra-
ment, we can attune ourselves to the union of the two primal
deities and, in a sense, participate in the ongoing creation of the
world. So are you up for some cosmos-generating sex this
week, Pisces? The astrological omens say you are.
Homework: Make a prediction about what age you will be when
you finally know exactly who you are. Testify at www.freewillas-
trology.com.
You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE:
1-900-950-7700 • $1.99 per minute • Touchtone phone 18 & over • c/s 612-373-9785
38 MAY 8, 2003
See something you like? Respond to an ad! Call: 1-888-652-6385
v m A accepted or 1-900-226-2436, $1.89/min. 18 or older.
women
Seeking
Men
52 DWF. Bright, outdoorsy,
politically progressive, no BS but
playful personality. Values
integrity, heartfullness. Looking
for same in grown-up gentleman
for hikes, conversations, fun
exploring magnificent NW land-
scape. ☎ 8422
(private party only)
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Advising an Aries to
Personals
52, EYES OF BLUE
You can be you, I can be me. As
long as you’re not out of your
tree. Friends first. Walks, movies,
music, laughter, scrabble, animal
lover. NS. ☎ 8413
2 SECRETARY birds, 20, caged
up in gloomy office. ISO young
“boss-man,” 20-30, to provide
strong perch for swiveling. Eager
to take dictation & bend over
desks all day. ☎ 8408
MORE THAN SKIN DEEP
SWF, full-figured, ISO SWM, 38-
47. My sense of humor, intellect,
generosity & passion should be
more important than my non-bar-
bie doll looks. ☎ 8405
INTUITION IS
EVERYTHING
You’ll ruin me for other men...
You: under 40, good taste in
music, food, friends. Your aes-
thetics not so important. Me: lim-
inal, 20s, tall, dog person. LTR
possible but not important.
Bijou? ☎ 8404
RAIN GODDESS seeks gar-
dener. Must be SWM, 30-40, at
least 5’11” & 175 lbs. Muscular &
rugged, NS, vegetarian. Me: 5’4”,
120 lbs., waiting. ☎ 8403
DON’T WANNA
WAIT IN VAIN
Puppet on a string. Don’t talk to
me as if I’m dumb (I’m not). I
need to know when you’re gonna
come (sooner than later?)
Summer is near. Show me you
want me. ☎ 8361
PLAYFUL, PETITE pixie seeks
NS intelligent communicative
playmate 42-52 for hiking, biking,
backpacking, skiing, spiritual
encounters, cooking, dancing,
quiet evenings, romance, grow-
ing together, soulmate? LTR? ☎
8352
SEEKING MY
BEST FRIEND
DWF, 51, 5’3”. Likes movies, din-
ing out, TV, hanging, touching,
dancing, computers, hot-tub,
people. Not sports-minded. Seek
stable, honest, funny, open-mind-
ed, considerate, communicative
D/SWM, 41-59, under 200 lbs. ☎
8351
READY TO HAVE FUN
Career, great. Children, grown.
Marriage, over. Looking for
healthy, mature playmate. ☎
8349
GET BACK
IN THE GAME
Looking to stir it up this summer.
If you’re not too old, but not too
young, for a good time of dance,
outdoor adventures, good con-
versation & romance, call me. ☎
8348
ARE YOU up to par? Do you like
the coast? New adventures, get
along well with others? Let’s call
each other first. Take it from
there. What do you say? ☎ 8343
SHE IS (and being her friends,
we would know) a lovely woman
with a joyful sense of humor. She
loves the sensuous things in life:
good wine, good food. She has an
ear for good conversation. Also,
loves music from jazz to a bit of
disco, ‘cuz the girl can dance!
Looking for SPM, 40-50, with sim-
ilar likes. NS, ND. Flexibility and
warm spirit a must. ☎ 8263
IN YOUR FACE
I’m looking for a face with: smile
lines from belly laughs, crow’s
feet from compassion, forehead
lines from deep thinking & lip
creases from extraordinary
amounts of kissing. Spirituality =
extra points. I’m small, smart &
sexy. ☎ 8261
CYNICAL?
Placing ads can be a waste of
time, but what the hell? Me: not a
waste of time, not immature,
employed, sense of imagination,
good camping gear. You: hopeful-
ly all the above? Let’s make the
glass half full. ☎ 8259
43 Y.O. WOMAN
Looking for a loving, compassion-
ate, honest man for friendship &
romance. ND, NS, light drink.
Possible LTR or not. ☎ 8253
SEEKING MALE COM-
PANIONSHIP
I want a Christian male compan-
ion with similar interests; a spe-
cial someone in my life. ☎ 8243
LOVE BECOMES YOU
So much the better to laugh, love,
play together when one knows
the Dharma, is NS, ND, spiritual,
over 57. Movies, biking, walks,
veggies, scrabble & so much
more. ☎ 8201
BIG DRIVE &
EQUIPMENT?
You’re around 50 something,
ready to live together with lots of
servicing each other. I’m sexy,
stocky, busty. I need you to be
kind, funny & what’s mentioned
above. XOXO ☎ 8185
MID-LIFE CRISIS! Need
someone to share my good life.
Vibrant, soulful, down-to-earth
intellectual seeks Mr. (Almost)
Perfect. Please be left of center,
53-63 & seeking LTR. NS. ☎ 8180
DINNER & A MOVIE?
Generic? Yes. But I’ll sit across
from you & undress you with my
eyes. Let’s find pleasure in the
small things. Saturday Market,
road trips, cooking, sleeping
together, shopping, drinking
wine. No commitments, but who
knows? ☎ 8173
I’M JUST WHAT
You never knew you always
wanted. Low-key, quirky, stylish,
mid-20s, employed non-breeder.
Lots of “wants”, not many
“needs”. No neurotic, uncul-
tured, overcologned losers. NS.
NMB!!! ☎ 8171
men
Seeking
woMen
BI-MALE SEEKS SAME
BWM, 27, Bro/Bro, semi-hairy,
looking for others with same
interest. Let’s get together. ☎
8428
SEEKING A playtoy. Me: 5’10”,
157, virile, intense, artistic, sensi-
tive, swimming, nature, energetic
body, breath, massages, dance,
home life. Let’s play with heart.
Got toys too. ☎ 8425
SWM, 40, ISO SWF, 35-45. Let’s
see if we connect. Self-employed.
☎ 8424
SWM, 43, 5’10”, 175, NS, ND,
healthy, unencumbered. Seek
attractive, trustworthy, reflective
female companion to share out-
doors, culture, ourselves. Dates
or soulmates. I’d love to talk &
learn gracious living from you. ☎
8421
IF YOU cherish your mind &
body, if you enjoy books, movies
& travel, flowers are always nec-
essary, if adventures great &
small beckon, write me at BLIND
BOX:1947. Please be non-reli-
gious, late 40s-50s, HWP, NS.
RIDE MY Harley. Looking for
ultimate Harley babe for summer
cruising, friendship, maybe more.
You: 25-38, trim, athletic, intelli-
gent, sense of humor, self-suffi-
cient, NS. Me: Trim, fit, profes-
sional. ☎ 8420
NATURE, HIKING, bicycling,
XC skiing, music, dining, wine,
Bijou... General adventuring
indoors & outdoors. SWPM, edu-
cated, quirky sense of humor. ISO
30s educated SPF, NS. Possible
LTR. ☎ 8415
GRUMPY SUGAR daddy needs
sweet younger girlfriend. Come
sit on daddy’s lap & tell me about
your day while I brush your hair.
☎ 8409
ARE YOU THE ONE?
I am a 25 y.o. male looking ulti-
mately for some fun. I like to cud-
dle, enjoy live music, vegetarian
cooking, all outdoor activities &
massages. For a unique & incred-
ible experience, contact me. ☎
8406
HANDSOME
WELL-
GROOMED man, 30s, 6’0”, 180
lbs. ISO very attractive Asian
woman 20-30s for part time fun.
Black hair & great body a +.
D&D free please. ☎ 8359
THERE ARE only two great
places to eat in this town - your
place & mine. Persistent but
underconfident chef, 56, seeks
easily pleased woman who looks
good in maple syrup. ☎ 8357
COME FLY with me. Amateur
paraglider, 56, on love’s flattest
hill. All we need is a strong head-
wind & a couple of sturdy hel-
mets. And maybe an ambulance
on standby. ☎ 8356
THE SHY YET FUNNY
GUY
Who’s right for you? I’m looking
for a gal, 18-25, tall, slender, to
hang out or date or whatever. I’m
6’1”, 180 lb., average build,
brown hair & hazel eyes. ☎ 8350
SOBER??
Good man. Attractive, kind, finan-
cially secure, seeking LTR with
softspoken, honest, intelligent,
unpretentious, spiritual, monoga-
mous, affectionate, environmen-
tal woman who does NOT use
alcohol/drugs. Prefer slender,
long hair, no makeup, not
employed. ☎ 8344
2 MUCH U,
2 LITTLE TIME
You need happy changes, new
doors. Bright, free, cute, lively
5’5”-6’, 150-190, 35-49, boda-
ciously curvy, derriered, proud.
Me: rich (kidding), nice, athletic,
cute, 47, entertaining, unselfish.
☎ 8249
SMART & FUNNY
SPM ISO bright, low-mainte-
nance SPF who likes to laugh &
go to the theatre. ☎ 8246
SUBSTANCE &
ADVENTURE
Eclectic, athletic man with a mul-
titude of interests. Values humor,
positive thinking & taking
chances. ISO fit, intelligent 40-
something woman with sense of
adventure. ☎ 8241
SUBMISSIVE WOMAN
WANTED
Not seeking cook or maid. Me:
attractive SWM, 6’, nicely built,
non-balding dark hair, financially
independent, health conscious,
non-smoker, experienced, safe,
gentle, creative, good conversa-
tionalist. You: single, unattached,
feminine, sensuous, healthy,
childless. Write “Resident” POB
25160, Portland 97298. Include
phone. ☎ 8234
THE BACHELOR in real life -
not TV glamour. You: sweet,
petite, no gold diggers. SW farm
boy, NS, ND, LTR. I care! Don’t
wait. ☎ 8198
NO WEIRDOS PLEASE
SWM, 26, student, attractive, fun,
slender, poor, happy, entertained.
Seeks capable, fit, unmaterialis-
tic, cute female confidant for
major laughter, friendship, out-
door fun, adventure & kicking
back. ☎ 8194
ANTONIO BANDERAS type seek-
ing educated, P, financially secure
woman who enjoy hiking, biking,
movies and international cuisine
(under age 45). Possible LTR, NS,
ND. ☎ 8190
VEGETARIAN
DWM, 49, 5’7”, dark hair, NS, fit,
easygoing, humorous, open-
minded. Enjoys hiking, biking, the
Oregon Coast, the blues, explor-
ing, Scrabble. Seeking similar
SWF. Friends first, possible LTR.
☎ 8187
PLACING PERSONALS ads is
easy! The first 30 words are
FREE, each additional word is $1.
Message retrieval is FREE. Call
484-0519, x10 for more details.
BASIC GUY
DWM, 60, attractive, 5’8”, 190
lbs. Grey beard, blue eyes.
Secure, honest, spiritual, open,
romantic, affectionate, casual,
spontaneous, humorous. Like
simple things; photography,
music, reading, movies, short
trips. Let’s have fun. ☎ 8183
EARTH-CENTERED SPIRI-
TIST. Compassionate, attractive,
camping, hiking, sailing, swim-
ming, gardening kind of guy.
Values dignity over status or
wealth. Truth-seeker, desires
honesty, trust and equality in
relationship. Devoted 1/2-time
dad, 38, very fit. Musician, ath-
lete, creatively quirky. Good at
follow-thru. Solid job. ☎ 8181
I WANT an attractive SF age 26-
36. I WANT her to have a reason-
ably flat tummy, but not be a
toothpick. I WANT her to be
affectionate, playful, passionate,
open-minded & honest. A decent
conversationalist with fair social
skills who enjoys the outdoors &
is herb friendly. A kinky side
would also be appreciated. In
return, I offer everything “I
WANT” & more. LTR even possi-
ble. ☎ 8175
THE SWEETNESS OF
FRIENDSHIP
SWM, 39, 5’10”, 240 lbs.
Handsome, healthy, happy,
strong, athletic, considerate, lov-
ing & balanced. Looking for dar-
ling companion. Smart, fun, lov-
ing, physical, attractive, passion-
ate, spiritual woman to explore,
enjoy, experience, love. NS. ☎
8133
Women
Seeking
woMen
BI-CURIOUS ATTRAC-
TIVE FEMALE
Only toyed with the idea, now
want to try it! Must be 20s,
attractive, feminine & intelligent.
Semi-inexperienced a plus. Only
casual fun & must be clean.
Green & alcohol friendly. ☎ 8416
FUN, SMART, cute, single, 38
yr old GWF seeks other dykes in
their 30s for camaraderie, break-
fast, hiking, movies, poker, work-
ing out and other rowdy fun.
Xena video library a plus. ☎ 8407
SBIF, 20S, looking for nice,
open-minded SBiF. I’m going
through some emotional stuff
and would like to have some fun.
Casual or friendship. Please be
clean! ☎ 8353
STILL LOOKING for that spe-
cial woman. Feminist lesbian,
natural, centered, contemplative,
cheerful, huggable & a little fat!
Crone? Organic? Time to build a
real relationship? Green. ☎ 8233
men
Seeking
Men
GAY CHRISTIAN SEEKS
Same to share laughter, conver-
sation, honesty, creativity, adven-
ture, support, tenderness. Me:
5’9”, 175, brown/brown, 47.
Pinot noir, Bach, Bob Dylan,
Burning Man. You: have dreams,
passions, opinions, feelings,
30somethingish? ☎ 8423
FRIENDS FIRST
Me: GWM, 29, grad. student,
intelligent. You: GWM, 22-26,
intelligent, masc. Bert seeks
Ernie. David seeking Jonathan.
Movies, dinner, hiking, music,
conversation. HIV neg & STD free
only. ☎ 8414
Do you want
to place a
personals ad?
Ad placement
and message
retrieval are
FREE!
You can also
purchase a Blind Box
for letters for $15 .
Call 484-0519, x10