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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (May 1, 2003)
friend or family member Have a that just moved ? GIFT! See something you like? Respond to an ad! Call: 1·888·652·6385 v m A accepted or 1-900-226-2436, $1.89/min. 18 or older. For only $25/3 mo., $40/6 mo., or $70/12 mo. you can send them the perfect gift to keep them updated on what is happening in Eugene and the surrounding areas. To subscribe call 541-484-0519 ext. 25, email deena@eugeneweekly.com or mail your check to 1251 Lincoln, Eugene, Oregon 97401. Week of May 1 ROB BREZSNY’S FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Are you the kind of Aries who pushes on doors that have “pull” signs? Do you think it’s a thrill to open cartons from the end that reads “open other end”? Do you love to drive in the carpool lane when you’re alone in your car? If so, I hope I can convince you to use your rebellious energy more constructively. You’re now in possession of the finest insurrectionary energy I’ve seen in many moons. Your brilliant disobedience could overthrow a sta- tus quo that’s sorely in need of being replaced. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A fresh fad has broken out among university students in China: drinking milk from baby bottles. Psychologists decry this as regressive behavior, claiming it represents a subliminal yearning to return to childhood and avoid adult responsibilities. I suppose that may be true if it becomes habitual. But I’m going to recom- mend that you take up the practice for just one week, Taurus. Make it a ritual that helps you reclaim your innocence and see the world with the eyes of an unspoiled kid. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “I’m too frustrated to do what it would take to get myself unfrustrated.” Has a thought like that crossed your mind recently? I bet it has. Or how about this: “I’m too confused to figure out what questions I’d need to ask to clarify the issues.” Again, I’d be surprised if you haven’t felt that way in the last few days. What to do about it? Here’s my solution: Stop the world. Drop out of your trance. Run away to a sanctuary where you can make time stand still for a few days. Empty your mind, relax your ambitions, and steep yourself in primal silence. CANCER (June 21-July 22): From a psycho- logical and spiritual perspective, Cancerian, it’s harvest time. The moment has come to reap the fruits you’ve sown since last July. Judging from my astrological analysis, I believe your yield will include an abundance of ripe beauties and just a few ripe uglies. And even those uglies could serve you well if used as fertilizer for your next round of planting, which is scheduled for the weeks after your birthday. (P.S. Here’s my guarantee: If you don’t rake in emotional riches very soon, I’ll eat your shoe. In the unlikely event your harvest is paltry, send your shoe to me at P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915.) LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Sometimes the mountain is hidden from me in veils of cloud,” Denise Levertov wrote in her poem called “Witness.” “Sometimes I am hidden from the mountain in veils of inattention, apathy, fatigue, when I forget or refuse to go down to the shore or a few yards up the road, on a clear day, to reconfirm that witnessing presence.” This week, Leo, you’re more likely to be hidden from the mountain than vice versa. If it happens, though, it won’t be due to inat- tention, apathy, or fatigue, but because of your intense attune- ment to your own magnificence. This is not a bad thing in itself, of course, but it will be if it keeps you from communing with the mountain. Therefore, see if you can do both: Be an alert wit- ness full of self-love. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In New York last January, a talking carp began shouting religious advice in Hebrew to an Hispanic food preparer who was about to turn it into a meal. The restaurant owner came in to investigate the commotion and became a second witness to the event. The New York Times reported the story, and soon a local Hasidic sect was proclaiming the fish’s message to be a direct commu- nication from God. Though many people laugh with derision when they hear this tale, I retain an open mind. The Divine Trickster has appeared to me in equally unusual forms. No doubt you will share my perspective by the end of this week, Virgo. You’re about to have a visitation that’s maybe a little less mysterious than a talking fish, but not by much. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I never dreamed that one day I’d have a pet wasp. But here she is, buzzing tenderly around my head as I compose this horoscope. I call her Scheherazade. She has been here three weeks. I lost all fear she would sting me after the first day, when she landed on me several times without incident. She seems content with the food and drink I leave out for her, and I swear that now and then she performs aerial tricks for my entertainment. I love having this whirring ally around. Her presence leads me to imagine that I really have learned to get along with wild forces of nature without having to control or hurt them. I encourage you, Libra, to seek your own version of a wasp companion. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Some people refer to me as an astrologer, novelist, or musician. Others call me a shaman, magician, or teacher. I don’t mind their attempts to sum me up, but I never refer to myself by those terms. My business card says I’m an “Aspiring Master of Curiosity, Apprentice to Crazy Wisdom, and Macho Feminist.” Why? First, I don’t want to get trapped in the elitist egotism that can arise from identifying with a label like “shaman.” Second, careerism is anathema to me. I want the freedom to keep mutating and not be enslaved to my past accomplishments. Third, I never want my life to be defined by my job. Fourth, I claim the exclu- sive right to name and title myself. No one else can have that power. I recommend that you Scorpios experiment with a simi- lar approach in the coming weeks. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Like most county fairs held every summer in American commu- nities, my hometown’s three-day extravaganza hosts competi- tions in many categories, from quilt art to pickled vegetables to decorated bird houses. This July’s fair will add an unusual new class: Prizes will be awarded to whomever grows the tallest weed. I predict the winner will be a Sagittarius who begins the project this week. The rest of you Centaurs are also primed to capitalize by exploiting things that are normally thought to lack value, and you won’t have to wait till July to cash in. To get in the proper mood (which should include compassionate, humor- ous self-mockery), give yourself a blue ribbon for having the biggest pimple or worst bad hair day or crabbiest mood. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “If the wrong man uses the right means, the right means work in the wrong way,” says the ancient Chinese book, The Secret of the Golden Flower. Conversely, “When the right man uses the wrong means, the wrong means work in the right way.” These thoughts, Capricorn, are all you need to succeed this week. You’re free to come up with your own interpretation of their implications, but here’s mine: High integrity and a noble pur- pose sometimes count for more than cleverness or skill. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Literary critic Harold Bloom believes Finnegans Wake was James Joyce’s masterpiece — the closest thing our age has come to the genius of Shakespeare and Dante. Novelist Anthony Burgess called it “a great comic vision that makes us laugh aloud on nearly every page.” Yet when Joyce was writing the book, his wife Nora hated it, calling it “chop suey.” She asked him why he didn’t make “sensible books that people can understand.” Joyce’s patron, Harriet Weaver, also derided Finnegans Wake, saying it was a waste of his genius. Luckily, like many Aquarians, Joyce was mainly loyal to the little voices in his head, not the little voices outside of his head. Draw inspi- ration from his example in the coming week. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): To compensate for the fact that the amount of available time is steadily shrinking, I’ve intensified my multitasking. I now meditate while washing dishes. I pay bills and write poems and practice singing while stuck in traffic jams. I read the newspaper, surf the Web, make business calls, eat lunch, and organize my schedule while ped- dling my exercise bike. As a happy and unexpected result, my brain is definitely working better; I’ve gotten smarter. This regi- men isn’t for everyone, of course. But if you do have an interest in increasing your intelligence, Pisces, now is a perfect astro- logical moment to make it happen. Homework: I dare you to feel love for someone you have dis- liked for a long time. Testify at ww.freewillastrology.com You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE: 1-900-950-7700 • $1.99 per minute • Touchtone phone 18 & over • c/s 612-373-9785 38 MAY 1, 2003 Personals The perfect Subscribe TODAY! women Seeking Men DON’T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN Puppet on a string. Don’t talk to me as if I’m dumb (I’m not). I need to know when you’re gonna come (sooner than later?) Summer is near. Show me you want me. ☎ 8361 PLAYFUL, PETITE pixie seeks NS intelligent communicative playmate 42-52 for hiking, biking, backpacking, skiing, spiritual encounters, cooking, dancing, quiet evenings, romance, grow- ing together, soulmate? LTR? ☎ 8352 SEEKING MY BEST FRIEND DWF, 51, 5’3”. Likes movies, din- ing out, TV, hanging, touching, dancing, computers, hot-tub, people. Not sports-minded. Seek stable, honest, funny, open-mind- ed, considerate, communicative D/SWM, 41-59, under 200 lbs. ☎ 8351 READY TO HAVE FUN Career, great. Children, grown. Marriage, over. Looking for healthy, mature playmate. ☎ 8349 GET BACK IN THE GAME Looking to stir it up this summer. If you’re not too old, but not too young, for a good time of dance, outdoor adventures, good con- versation & romance, call me. ☎ 8348 ARE YOU up to par? Do you like the coast? New adventures, get along well with others? Let’s call each other first. Take it from there. What do you say? ☎ 8343 CYNICAL? Placing ads can be a waste of time, but what the hell? Me: not a waste of time, not immature, employed, sense of imagination, good camping gear. You: hopeful- ly all the above? Let’s make the glass half full. ☎ 8259 BIG DRIVE & EQUIPMENT? You’re around 50 something, ready to live together with lots of servicing each other. I’m sexy, stocky, busty. I need you to be kind, funny & what’s mentioned above. XOXO ☎ 8185 I’M JUST WHAT You never knew you always wanted. Low-key, quirky, stylish, mid-20s, employed non-breeder. Lots of “wants”, not many “needs”. No neurotic, uncul- tured, overcologned losers. NS. NMB!!! ☎ 8171 WACKY COUNTRY DWCF Attractive, blonde/blue, average, HWP, 52, healthy, loves travel, country living, cultural activities. ISO NS, 50-60s intelligent gentle- men partner to share life’s adventures. Nature/Animal Lover. ☎ 8125 TRANSSEXUAL LOOKING For rich man. Young ts ISO man who wants to be my sugar daddy. ☎ 8086 YOU’RE A quality person, intel- ligent, compassionate, attractive, affectionate, good communicator, Jewish, stable, w/integrity. I’m pretty, smart, gentle, loving, play- ful, creative, youthful, vegetarian, Friend or more? 40s to early 50s. ☎ 8083 43 Y.O. WOMAN Looking for a loving, compassion- ate, honest man for friendship & romance. ND, NS, light drink. Possible LTR or not. ☎ 8253 DANCE PARTNER WANTED ISO companion, 50-60 y.o. 5’9”- 6’2”, SWM. Communication, hon- esty, financially secure, NS, ND, Light Drink. Me: SWF, 5’3”, blonde/brown. Same + out- doors/indoors, movies, cooking, hugs, affectionate. ☎ 8080 SHE IS (and being her friends, we would know) a lovely woman with a joyful sense of humor. She loves the sensuous things in life: good wine, good food. She has an ear for good conversation. Also, loves music from jazz to a bit of disco, ‘cuz the girl can dance! Looking for SPM, 40-50, with sim- ilar likes. NS, ND. Flexibility and warm spirit a must. ☎ 8263 SEEKING MALE COMPANIONSHIP I want a Christian male compan- ion with similar interests; a spe- cial someone in my life. ☎ 8243 LONELY EUROPEAN Sincere, passionate, educated SWF. Loves dogs, horses, nature. 5’4”, 115 lbs. ISO kind, warm, sincere 48-60 y.o. SWM. ☎ 8077 IN YOUR FACE I’m looking for a face with: smile lines from belly laughs, crow’s feet from compassion, forehead lines from deep thinking & lip creases from extraordinary amounts of kissing. Spirituality = extra points. I’m small, smart & sexy. ☎ 8261 LOVE BECOMES YOU So much the better to laugh, love, play together when one knows the Dharma, is NS, ND, spiritual, over 57. Movies, biking, walks, veggies, scrabble & so much more. ☎ 8201 MID-LIFE CRISIS! Need someone to share my good life. Vibrant, soulful, down-to-earth intellectual seeks Mr. (Almost) Perfect. Please be left of center, 53-63 & seeking LTR. NS. ☎ 8180 DINNER & A MOVIE? Generic? Yes. But I’ll sit across from you & undress you with my eyes. Let’s find pleasure in the small things. Saturday Market, road trips, cooking, sleeping together, shopping, drinking wine. No commitments, but who knows? ☎ 8173 SWF, 53, joyful and loving, seeks kind and good man to correspond with, then meet if all goes well. ☎ 8076 men Seeking woMen HANDSOME WELL-GROOMED man, 30s, 6’0”, 180 lbs. ISO very attractive Asian woman 20-30s for part time fun. Black hair & great body a +. D&D free please. ☎ 8359 THERE ARE only two great places to eat in this town - your place & mine. Persistent but underconfident chef, 56, seeks easily pleased woman who looks good in maple syrup. ☎ 8357 COME FLY with me. Amateur paraglider, 56, on love’s flattest hill. All we need is a strong head- wind & a couple of sturdy hel- mets. And maybe an ambulance on standby. ☎ 8356 THE SHY YET FUNNY GUY Who’s right for you? I’m looking for a gal, 18-25, tall, slender, to hang out or date or whatever. I’m 6’1”, 180 lb., average build, brown hair & hazel eyes. ☎ 8350 SOBER?? Good man. Attractive, kind, finan- cially secure, seeking LTR with softspoken, honest, intelligent, unpretentious, spiritual, monoga- mous, affectionate, environmen- tal woman who does NOT use alcohol/drugs. Prefer slender, long hair, no makeup, not employed. ☎ 8344 2 MUCH U, 2 LITTLE TIME You need happy changes, new doors. Bright, free, cute, lively 5’5”-6’, 150-190, 35-49, boda- ciously curvy, derriered, proud. Me: rich (kidding), nice, athletic, cute, 47, entertaining, unselfish. ☎ 8249 SMART & FUNNY SPM ISO bright, low-mainte- nance SPF who likes to laugh & go to the theatre. ☎ 8246 SUBSTANCE & ADVEN- TURE Eclectic, athletic man with a mul- titude of interests. Values humor, positive thinking & taking chances. ISO fit, intelligent 40- something woman with sense of adventure. ☎ 8241 SUBMISSIVE WOMAN WANTED Not seeking cook or maid. Me: attractive SWM, 6’, nicely built, non-balding dark hair, financially independent, health conscious, non-smoker, experienced, safe, gentle, creative, good conversa- tionalist. You: single, unattached, feminine, sensuous, healthy, childless. Write “Resident” POB 25160, Portland 97298. Include phone. ☎ 8234 THE BACHELOR in real life - not TV glamour. You: sweet, petite, no gold diggers. SW farm boy, NS, ND, LTR. I care! Don’t wait. ☎ 8198 NO WEIRDOS PLEASE SWM, 26, student, attractive, fun, slender, poor, happy, entertained. Seeks capable, fit, unmaterialis- tic, cute female confidant for major laughter, friendship, out- door fun, adventure & kicking back. ☎ 8194 ANTONIO BANDERAS type seeking educated, P, financially secure woman who enjoy hiking, biking, movies and international cuisine (under age 45). Possible LTR, NS, ND. ☎ 8190 VEGETARIAN DWM, 49, 5’7”, dark hair, NS, fit, easygoing, humorous, open- minded. Enjoys hiking, biking, the Oregon Coast, the blues, explor- ing, Scrabble. Seeking similar SWF. Friends first, possible LTR. ☎ 8187 BASIC GUY DWM, 60, attractive, 5’8”, 190 lbs. Grey beard, blue eyes. Secure, honest, spiritual, open, romantic, affectionate, casual, spontaneous, humorous. Like simple things; photography, music, reading, movies, short trips. Let’s have fun. ☎ 8183 EARTH-CENTERED SPIRITIST. Compassionate, attractive, camp- ing, hiking, sailing, swimming, gardening kind of guy. Values dig- nity over status or wealth. Truth- seeker, desires honesty, trust and equality in relationship. Devoted 1/2-time dad, 38, very fit. Musician, athlete, creatively quirky. Good at follow-thru. Solid job. ☎ 8181 I WANT an attractive SF age 26- 36. I WANT her to have a reason- ably flat tummy, but not be a toothpick. I WANT her to be affectionate, playful, passionate, open-minded & honest. A decent conversationalist with fair social skills who enjoys the outdoors & is herb friendly. A kinky side would also be appreciated. In return, I offer everything “I WANT” & more. LTR even possi- ble. ☎ 8175 THE SWEETNESS OF FRIENDSHIP SWM, 39, 5’10”, 240 lbs. Handsome, healthy, happy, strong, athletic, considerate, lov- ing & balanced. Looking for dar- ling companion. Smart, fun, lov- ing, physical, attractive, passion- ate, spiritual woman to explore, enjoy, experience, love. NS. ☎ 8133 YOU’RE LOOKING FOR 46 years young. Fun, loving, self- employed landscaper seeks a petite sweetie 35-49 to enjoy indoor/outdoor adventures. Enjoy music, dancing, camping, fishing... You might be the one baby! ☎ 8124 ALISON I am looking for Alison. Is this Alison Wonder? I wonder? You left armadillo duck message. I missed your number. If you call, I will repay. We can have coffee. ☎ 8122 YOUR RED HAIR IS NOT Up for debate & you don’t do debates/dye hair. You’re 5’7” height is debatable because you’re actually 5’7&1/2” & round down. You aren’t preoccupied about hygiene. You’re boot-wear- ing. ☎ 8120 WAR RELIEF? Good-natured fellow in need of female companionship for music shows, outdoor (& indoor) activi- ties, or just a nice dinner. I’m 32, fit, open-minded, positive, attrac- tive & green friendly. Corvallis. ☎ 8119 ISO 40-55 companion w/simi- lar interest. Me: DWM, uses a power wheelchair, body bad - mind good. Enjoys computers, music, outdoors, nature, movies. Has an attention for detail. ☎ 8088 LONELY IN LEABURG SWPM, 43, fit, attractive, intelli- gent, sensitive, loving, affection- ate, outdoorsy type. Seeks SWF, 35-48, emotionally & financially stable, fit, attractive for LTR. NS, LD ok. ☎ 8085 JANE MAGAZINE SAYS Every woman owes herself a fling with an “older gentleman”; find out why! I’m 50ish, fit, sophisti- cated, experienced, easygoing, romantic & fun. ☎ 8084 WM 42, 5’10”, brown/blue, handsome. Likes outdoors, romantic dinners, funny movies, quiet evenings. Seeks romantic older female, very voluptuous, tall, large, funny, pretty. Be real, be honest. ND. ☎ 8081 WIDOWER, WRITER, former professor, given to simple pleas- ures like baking bread, walking, reading aloud, & intimacy. 6’1”, 150 lbs, seeks attractive woman in her 50s w/active mind, gentle heart & patience. ☎ 7835 PLACING PERSONALS ads is easy! The first 30 words are FREE, each additional word is $1. Message retrieval is FREE. Call 484-0519, x10 for more details.
