Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Street roots. (Portland, OR) 1998-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 21, 2012)
Learning how to filter tragedy for a child’s view of the world riday morning, Dec. 14,1 was in my humans like my kid), I continued to struggle old Volvo driving around Vancouver, with the questions that are still new to me WA, trying to find my colleague as a late-blooming parent: Where and when Alyssa’s house - her daughter, Sophia, was will she learn of it? Am I protecting her by selling me her barely-used “Pink Cadillac” shielding her from what happened, or am I bicycle for $50 for Ramona’s Christmas gift; putting her in danger by not putting her I was annoyed that I’d taken a wrong turn, through safety drills? Do I keep her anxious about fitting the bike into the car, innocence safe - or must I share with her trying to work out when I’d give it to what terrible things happen, try to equip Ramona since we couldn’t pack it along to her to cope with the terrible? the family holiday in Ashland. And then I This being 2012,1 made a late-night post turned on the radio. I don’t have to tell you to Facebook sharing that I was at a loss- what I heard. was it OK to keep Ramona ignorant of what I pulled over, and my mind ran to happened? The responses were interesting Ramona, and what she’d be doing at 1:30 and useful, contemplative, respectful. More p.m. in her safe little school in Northeast on that in a minute. Portland — her Spanish lesson, playing with It’s the larger national discussion that AJ, the class bearded dragon, making a disturbs me. A day after the shooting, NPR collage with her best friend Twylo. I didn’t hosted a talk featuring a gun control go as far as imagining a sick, violent adult advocate and a gun rights advocate. entering that scene — the way you pull down President Obama has spoken several times that blue screen in your mind when over the last week, and the transcripts have something is too awful to imagine. I bought been published online, and people have the bike and hid it in the basement, and commented on his words. picked up Ro. In the car, Ramona reported, On NPR, the gun lobbyist said, “We didn’t whistling through her missing two front talk about box-cutters after 9/11; we don’t teeth, “I practiced my hula hoop at recess!” talk about banning cars after every accident; So we talked about that, and who was taking we shouldn’t be revisiting the misuses of a AJ home for the holiday break, and how tool to deprive law-abiding Americans of it.” stinky it was when AJ pooped at our house These facile words, “Guns don’t kill people- during our turn caring for him last weekend. people kill people,” grate. We did change We listened to a CD instead of the radio. everything about air travel after 9/11 — My husband and I decided that night, millions of people every year get scanned. after dinner with Ro, bath, and reading We made it harder to take down a plane, Harry Potter until she fell asleep, that we because that was a clear threat, as mass would not tell Ramona about the shooting. shootings are. And Americans are required We couldn’t see what use it would serve to complete serious training to get a license except to make her afraid—this is, after all, to drive. My Ramona doesn’t know about the child who, having learned that hippos any of this, but someday, she will. When are dangerous if you’re in a small boat in a she’s older, I can share with her my river and bump into one, burst into tears in frustration that after 20 children and six e d u c a to rs w e re slain, th e re a c tio n of to o the fear that she’d meet an unfriendly hippo m an y p e o p le w as to ru s h to protecting the in th e b a th tu b . Yet th e th o u g h t n ag s th a t right to bear arms, even though those arms she’ll hear of it — and how do we talk about are too often leveled against our innocent it if and when she does? children, parents and allies. The Newtown shooting is the first President Obama said in his address on terrible instance that I might have to explain to Ramona, my crafty, healthy, roller Sunday, “This is our first task, caring for our children. It’s our first job. If we don’t skating, Chutes & Ladders-playing baby, who is really not a baby, and old enough now get that right, we don’t get anything right. That’s how, as a society, we will be judged. to hear about things. I don’t know what to say, among so much being said. I don’t know And by that measure, can we truly say, as a nation, that we’re meeting our obligations? how to say it. Can we honestly say that we’re doing The day after the shooting, before I could enough to keep our children, all of them, begin to grapple with the urge to swaddle safe from harm?” my 6-year-old in bubble wrap (many of the Many people reiterated in the forums I’ve victims of the Newtown tragedy were 6, like scanned that gun rights trumped all. I look my kid - missing teeth like my kid - newly at my sleeping kid tonight. I’m puzzled. minted, probably contrary, unpredictable F Melissa Favara Melissa Favara teaches English in Vancouver and lives and writes in North Portland, where she parents Ramona, age 6, hosts a bi-monthly reading series, and counts her husband and her city as the two great loves o f her life. Don’t we all want our kids to be safer? Isn’t it obvious, here in Portland, a city whose police force the Justice Department has reprimanded and asked for reforms from after multiple police shootings of the mentally ill, that we have work to do to head off tragedy with a better social safety net, available treatment for the mentally ill, and limiting access to the kinds of “tools” that can leave many I continued to straggle w ith dead fast? No one in the gHestioas that are s till his right mind would new I® me as a late-bloom ing have committed parent; Where and when w ill Newtown. No one so she learn of It? Am 1 ill could have done so much damage so protecting her by shielding quickly without a her from what happened, or semi-automatic. am 1 p uttin g her In danger The first clear by not p u ttin g her through concept of death that Ramona’s gotten is safety drills? how Harry Potter’s parents died saving his life. It’s to be talked about. My friends on Facebook had great, loving ideas on the shooting. One said that, given the escalation of shootings, it might be good to teach Ramona, “If X happens, do Y.” One said, “Bubble-wrap that girl as long as you need to, talk when it feels right.” And one shared how her Buddhist priest shared with her temple, 250 including the kids, what had happened, inviting a moment of silence. This is what she wrote about what she’d teach her kids: “Life is fragile. Life is uncertain. Life is to b e a p p re c ia te d . P e o p le a re not alw ays good. T h e lo st a re to b e re m e m b e re d . T h e desperate are to be treated with compassion and attention, lest they become more desperate. There are problems in individuals and in our society that have dramatic negative consequences. And it’s always good to have a plan for emergencies.” We’ll get there. For now, we discussed Harry Potter over dinner tonight. Ramona remembered that Harry was alive and very powerful; we remembered that he was so because his parents sacrificed themselves. “And they loved him so much, their love saved him,” I offered. I wish that my love could keep Ramona safe, but it can’t always. We’ll have to talk about that. , good, local, food ALBERTA COOPERATIVE GROCERY 1500 NE Alberta St. Portland, OR 97211 503.287.4333 www.albertagrocery.coop open to everyone 9-10 daily ■ ■ . . ’ "’W Pacific Power Wants to invest mo money in coal plants witho proper analysis of other opti II is good for your and the r Y„our membership gives us the power to « a h t Pacific Power’s coal investments! * Support CUB today. ______ http://oregoncub.org/streetroots AB B / 2 ' '„2 C i t i z e n s ’ U ... t i l i t y B o oT a ÔY r tato d oxs oregoncub.org/streetroots Vendors are regular contributors to Street Roots content, as columnist, poets a nd artists. Look for your favorite vendor’s writings in each edition of the paper
