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About Street roots. (Portland, OR) 1998-current | View Entire Issue (April 1, 2011)
Street roots 10 April 1, 2011 PRODUCT REVIEW If you’re thinking, you’re working too hard BY DESTINY M ISTY SPRINGPONY STAFF WRITER p | Ahe last few years have shown a rapid emergence in new X telecom technology. Google’s recent launch of the Android smart phone, with its Linux style open source operating system has followed strong and hard on the coat-tails of the Blackberry and Apple’s popular iPhone. Countless apps and widgets for these devices have improved our lives, saved us time, and reduced any need for us to think for ourselves. Why get stuck spending an extra five minutes exploring, or risking life and limb speaking to a dangerous stranger when asking directions? Never mind reports of increased emergency room visits due to collisions with telephone poles. That’s just left wing extremists trying to promote Communist health care! Besides, with the release of the newest and most powerful yet «STY* (Smarter Than You) phone, by emerging corporation Tel-Con, physical injuries are only a minor concern. This is thanks in large part to a new proprietary bio-monitor application which will automatically dial 9-1-1 if unconsciousness occurs due to blunt force head trauma. Other accidents are protected against as well, such as heart failure due to excessive fast food consumption. Other applications popular in test markets include Stalk-buster, which will seaich police databases for previous arrests or restraining orders for potential partners. You simply add their phone number and the phone will look up their history in a flash and respond with a variety of customizable responses, including “surfer”, “hood” and “hipster.” Developers of the STY super smart phone say they’re working on other useful applications for the future, that are not limited to just reducing the need to think for State leads charge to support unemployment with own workers STAFF REPORTS X “Wasn’t Me” app will supply an alibi if accused of a crime; “Daddy Lawyer” will intercept police database inquiries, thus preventing that pesky warrant cheek, and “eBribe” will allow local judges to try to compete for your money and your commitment to ; rehabilitate yourself. All in all this product gets four bars. It’s not for everyone, but nearly all phone users eventually find a reason to spend more money on something they don’t need. If that’s you, Tel-Con’s new STY is the answer. Drugs, hippy-types, inspire new Da Mo I - STAFF REPORTS is year’s state budgèt was altered dramatically when state legislature government buildings, as well as outside union headquarters and gun club facilities, sparked some outbursts. X i TS oneself, but removing all need for accountability. The § ^ tRoots> F^ecutivfp Dire^qy., Israel fu r lo u g h s o f s t a t e e m p lo y e e s , s a v in g B a y e r, w o u ld n ’t c o m m e n t o n t h e u n fa m ilia r hundreds of millions of dollars of state funding. Each state employee will now be limited to 7.5 hours per week. Oddly, immediately following this vote was a decision against allowing state workers to collect unemployment benefits, in an unprecedented second consecutive unanimous vote. In conjunction with this voting spree, Street Roots has seen a massive influx of new vendor applicants, many wearing suits and ties with their SR laminates. Contests for street corner turf near city and federal habits of the latest spate of vendors, but he did say that Street Roots sales have increased from 11,000 per edition to nearly 11,022, given the increased productivity. Bayer also noted that the interaction between state employees and readers has formed a positive relationship across class lines. Efforts are being made to increase Street Roots from being a bi-weekly publication to a daily one, though with the massive state employee furloughs, stories and submissions are getting harder and harder to find. fauna of delight has developed. Animals new garden theatre “Da Mo” has just with large eyes and soft ways move gently around thè gardèìi. Park benches and tables opened in downtown Portland have been placed in strategic locations showcasing the beautiful fauna and flora of our city. Developed by scientists, where everyone can còme and share in the a n m , unti" wty " imsuh w « w a uiuuiu w *" On this opening day, terrorists, t h e s p i r i t a n d m o v e m e n t fr o m ra in -la d e n homeless, homeowners, gang members, winter to the joys of spring. business leaders, journalists, church A life giving plant new to this area, the members, immigrants, politicians, igivo, has been planted near Pioneer community workers, protestors, city Square. planners, security forces, and labor leaders The myriad of rainbow colors can be gather to share in the aura of the theatre seen through the transparent leaf and discuss how to create a place of peace. formations and the buds take shape in the Each asks the other, “What can I give up form of spiraling pasta. Other flora designs and still maintain who I am?” can be seen while walking this serene path At the Da Mo, Daily Movement Garden, in the form of swaying trees and glistening changes were made. It happened this April bushes. 1, 2011. It really did! In the midst of this floral masterpiece, a a LOOKING FOR AN AFFORDABLE PLACE TO RENT? Your online housing search ju st g o t easier. « « i O I ÎM H S Thousands o f listings * Free service Includes special needs housing EQUAL HOUSING Call 2-1-1 o r 503-802-8562 a w a n so n T h o m a s ATTORNEYS A T a n d C o o n L A W C a l l u s t o d a y a t 5 D 3 .2 2 S .5 2 S t r a ig h t a n s w e r s , n o c o n s u l t a t io n P r o t e c t in g p e o p l e ’ s r ig h t s s in c e 22 fete . 1981. - S o c ia l S e c u r it y - W o r k e r s C o m p e n s a t io n P e r s o n a l I n ju r y B2O Sw P o rtlan V is it : A v e n , OR 9 7 2 D 4 seco nd d o u r w e b s it e : u e , S te ZOO w w w . s t c - l a w . c o m coffee b e a n IN T E R N AT I O NAL® We tip our mugs to Coffee Bean International for donating coffee to Street Roots and keeping our vendors warm in the morning! Thank you!
