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About Illinois Valley news. (Cave City, Oregon) 1937-current | View Entire Issue (March 30, 2005)
Page 2 Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction, OR Wednesday, March 30, 2005 “A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty ‘Hi-Yo, Silver!’ The Lone Ranger rides again!” Wow, mighty stirring, as the masked lawman without portfolio, aided by his faithful Indian com- panion, Tonto, uses his six-guns and silver bullets, and sometimes his gloved fists, to bring law and order to the Old West, wherever that was. But wait, a “fiery horse with the speed of light.” Could that be true? Maybe. After all, Clark Kent, in his blue-and-red PJs with a yellow cape, was able to leap tall buildings in a sin- gle bound. And he was faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a locomotive. Man, what he- roes we had. Not to mention Batman & Robin, Captain Marvel, Black Hawk, Aquaman, Plastic Man, Sky King, Sgt. Preston of the Yukon, and a host of others. All of them determined to stop crime, beat the bad guys and generally bring justice to all corners against all com- ers. Where’d they go? The reason all this came up is that my 9-year-old granddaughter, Kimberly, and I have been watching episodes of “The Lone Ranger.” Over and over. The first area I had to explain occurred after she first lis- tened to Tonto speak his lines. She said, “Grampa, why does that Indian talk that way?” I did the best I could to clarify why he spoke pidgin English. And I think she understood. But she also noticed that when the ranger and his buckskin buddy race out of town after solving crimes and jailing desperadoes, the voice yelling, “Hi-Yo Sil- ver, Away!” is not the ranger’s, but the announcer’s. That was one I couldn’t explain. She also wanted to know why the masked man bothers to wear a mask. “Why doesn’t he want any- one to know who he is?” asked Kimberly. Another stumper for grandpa, although I made a valiant at- tempt to describe his origin. But the more I tried to explain the matter, the more I began to question it too. We also noticed that sometimes in those Old West stories, people “throw” their bullets. Interesting. An- other point of contention involves how the Lone Ranger receives mail. Also, how does he stay so clean and why doesn't he have a tent for camping” Plus: *Does he ever eat? *Where does he get money? And most important: What does “Kemosabe” mean? Maybe we don’t want to know. “Editor Bob - Away!” (Editor’s Note: Views and commentary, including state- ments made as fact, are strictly those of the letter-writers.) * * * Typed, double-spaced let- ters written solely to this news- paper are considered for publi- cation. Hand-written letters that are double-spaced and legible also can be considered. Cards of thanks are not accepted as letters. * * * Conroy ‘refreshing’ From Jerry Dean Kerby It was refreshing to read the March 16 “Illinois Valley News” article by Scott Conroy. Many of us in Illinois valley disagree with the extreme environmentalists. However, they are prolific letter-writers. Thank you for present- ing both sides. ‘New green bike’ From C. Philemon Cave Junction I’m wondering if any Illinois Valley High School parents noticed that their son or daughter came home last Friday with a new green bike. My son forgot -- one time -- to lock his bike that he got for Christmas. After his classes, the bike was missing. So, if someone’s child has a new bike, it could belong to my son. He is walking to school now. Cat supports USA From Bill Wiswell Cave Junction I recently read that Americans buy more for- eign-made products than foreigners and Americans buy American-made prod- ucts. Of course, this is not good for the U.S. economy. My wife and I recently bought a Craftsman drill, a Revere Ware tea kettle, Far- berware fry and sauce pans, a pair of Reebok shoes, a pair of New Balance shoes, a DVD player, and a bucket of kitty litter. All the items were made in China, except the kitty litter, which is USA-made. I am pleased to an- nounce that our cat is aiding the U.S. economy every time he pees. ‘New age of intellectual enlightenment’ Illinois Valley News An Independent Weekly Newspaper Co-owned and published by Robert R. (Bob) and Jan Rodriguez Bob Rodriguez, Editor El Jefe Entered as second class matter June 11, 1937 at Post Office as Official Newspaper for Josephine County and Josephine County Three Rivers School District, published at 321 S. Redwood Hwy., Cave Junction, OR 97523 Periodicals postage paid at Cave Junction, OR 97523 Post Office Box 1370 USPS 258-820 Telephone (541) 592-2541, FAX (541) 592-4330 Volume 68, No. 2 Staff: Kacy Clement, Becky Loudon, Michelle Binker, Nina Holm Consulting, Shane Welsh. Advertising Design Consultant - Wonder Dog Graphics Member: Oregon Newspaper Publishers Association DEADLINES: News, Classified & Display Ads, Announcements & Letters 3 P.M. FRIDAY (Classified ads & uncomplicated display ads can be accepted until Noon, Monday with an additional charge.) POLICY ON LETTERS: ‘Illinois Valley News’ welcomes letters to the editor provided they are of general interest, in good taste, legible and not libelous. All letters must be signed, using complete name, and contain the writer’s address and telephone number. The latter need not be published, but will be used to verify authenticity. The ‘News’ reserves the right to edit letters. One letter per person per month. Letters are used at the discretion of the publisher. Unpublished letters are neither acknowledged nor returned. A prepaid charge may be levied if a letter is inordinately long in the editor's opinion. POLICY ON “HERE, THERE & EVERYWHERE,” DISPLAY & CLASSIFIED ADS & NOTICES: All submissions must be hand delivered, faxed or e-mailed to us for publication. Submissions must be resubmitted each week if the item is to run for more than one week. SUBSCRIPTION RATES One year in Josephine County - $20.80 One year in Jackson and Douglas Counties - $24.40 One year in all other Oregon counties and out-of-state - $28 POSTMASTER: Please send address changes to P.O. Box 1370, Cave Junction, OR. 97523 From Gregory Anderson Cave Junction A new age of intellec- tual enlightenment is sweep- ing the country if the follow- ing rumors prove true: *N.O.W. and other feminist groups are swamp- ing the White House with letters thanking our presi- dent for freeing millions of women in Iran and Afghani- stan so that they may vote, go to school, hold office, and wear clothing of their choice. *Algore, Harry Reid, and other prominent De- mocrats have recovered memories of statements they made before Bush that So- cial Security is a train wreck waiting to happen. *Theater groups like the “Dots” across the country are excited about a new play called, “The Penis Dia- logues,” a series of stories about men’s sexuality and self-discovery. A represen- tative from NAMBLA, in conjunction with the ACLU, is furnishing the segment on introducing underage boys to this discovery. *Bereft of any original thoughts or ideas, [Nancy] Pelosi and Reid have un- veiled the new motto of the Democratic Party; “Just Say No!” *A bipartisan commit- tee from Congress actually read the Constitution and could find nothing about the “separation of Church and State.” They did find where it is prohibited for the State to establish a religion. *The Academy Awards Committee announced that its ceremony would be to give awards for outstanding achievement and not for political sniping by the left- ist extremists in their group. *University authorities nationwide decided to actu- ally practice diversity and tolerance on their campuses by making two important changes: First, every other commencement speaker will represent the conservative point of view, compared to the present zero conserva- tives. Second, approxi- mately half the professors will be from the loony left, instead of the present 90- plus percent. *Liberals will start say- ing, “We Support Our Troops,” without crossing their fingers behind their backs. *The major media point out that even though any death is tragic, more high school students commit sui- cide than soldiers are killed in Iraq. slingshot hanging from my back pocket; went to school barefoot; and had an old brown Airedale that was my constant companion. I came into Illinois Val- ley in 1970 and bought some acreage because it had the same small-town atmos- phere that I knew when I was a youngster, and I wanted to go back to my roots, so to speak. I had no intention of disrupting the normal way of life of those folks who had lived here most of their lives and raised families. The valley’s only indus- try for years has been (Continued on page 3) Pain - Stress - Injuries Deep massage - CranioSacral Therapy Monday - Friday by appointment Senior Discounts - Gift Discounts Sunday, April 3 Jubilee Park - 1 p.m. sharp! Horn blows for FREE egg hunt Categories: 5 and younger 6 to 8 9 to 12 Come before 1 p.m. to enjoy all the FREE activities: I.V. Lions’ Train Easter Bunny JoCo Sheriff’s K-9s I.V. Fire District Gifts & Toys ‘Know-it-alls’ From Ellis Couron Cave Junction When I was a youngster I wore bib overalls; had a We’re happy we made the Switch! “My friends and I made the switch to Frontier High-Speed Internet.Why? Because we wanted SPEED fast enough to do everything we want, GREAT SERVICE, and the same RELIABILITY we’ve been getting from our phone service for years. And switching from cable Internet was easy. 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