Page 2
Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction, OR Wednesday, March 30, 2005
“A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of
dust, and a hearty ‘Hi-Yo, Silver!’ The Lone Ranger
rides again!”
Wow, mighty stirring, as the masked lawman
without portfolio, aided by his faithful Indian com-
panion, Tonto, uses his six-guns and silver bullets,
and sometimes his gloved fists, to bring law and order
to the Old West, wherever that was. But wait, a “fiery
horse with the speed of light.” Could that be true?
Maybe.
After all, Clark Kent, in his blue-and-red PJs with
a yellow cape, was able to leap tall buildings in a sin-
gle bound. And he was faster than a speeding bullet
and more powerful than a locomotive. Man, what he-
roes we had.
Not to mention Batman & Robin, Captain Marvel,
Black Hawk, Aquaman, Plastic Man, Sky King, Sgt.
Preston of the Yukon, and a host of others. All of
them determined to stop crime, beat the bad guys and
generally bring justice to all corners against all com-
ers. Where’d they go?
The reason all this came up is that my 9-year-old
granddaughter, Kimberly, and I have been watching
episodes of “The Lone Ranger.” Over and over. The
first area I had to explain occurred after she first lis-
tened to Tonto speak his lines. She said, “Grampa,
why does that Indian talk that way?” I did the best I
could to clarify why he spoke pidgin English. And I
think she understood.
But she also noticed that when the ranger and his
buckskin buddy race out of town after solving crimes
and jailing desperadoes, the voice yelling, “Hi-Yo Sil-
ver, Away!” is not the ranger’s, but the announcer’s.
That was one I couldn’t explain.
She also wanted to know why the masked man
bothers to wear a mask. “Why doesn’t he want any-
one to know who he is?” asked Kimberly. Another
stumper for grandpa, although I made a valiant at-
tempt to describe his origin. But the more I tried to
explain the matter, the more I began to question it too.
We also noticed that sometimes in those Old West
stories, people “throw” their bullets. Interesting. An-
other point of contention involves how the Lone
Ranger receives mail. Also, how does he stay so clean
and why doesn't he have a tent for camping” Plus:
*Does he ever eat?
*Where does he get money?
And most important: What does “Kemosabe”
mean? Maybe we don’t want to know.
“Editor Bob - Away!”
(Editor’s Note: Views and
commentary, including state-
ments made as fact, are strictly
those of the letter-writers.)
* * *
Typed, double-spaced let-
ters written solely to this news-
paper are considered for publi-
cation. Hand-written letters that
are double-spaced and legible
also can be considered.
Cards of thanks are not
accepted as letters.
* * *
Conroy ‘refreshing’
From Jerry Dean
Kerby
It was refreshing to
read the March 16 “Illinois
Valley News” article by
Scott Conroy.
Many of us in Illinois
valley disagree with the
extreme environmentalists.
However, they are prolific
letter-writers.
Thank you for present-
ing both sides.
‘New green bike’
From C. Philemon
Cave Junction
I’m wondering if any
Illinois Valley High
School parents noticed that
their son or daughter came
home last Friday with a
new green bike.
My son forgot -- one
time -- to lock his bike that
he got for Christmas. After
his classes, the bike was
missing.
So, if someone’s child
has a new bike, it could
belong to my son. He is
walking to school now.
Cat supports USA
From Bill Wiswell
Cave Junction
I recently read that
Americans buy more for-
eign-made products than
foreigners and Americans
buy American-made prod-
ucts.
Of course, this is not
good for the U.S. economy.
My wife and I recently
bought a Craftsman drill, a
Revere Ware tea kettle, Far-
berware fry and sauce pans,
a pair of Reebok shoes, a
pair of New Balance shoes,
a DVD player, and a bucket
of kitty litter.
All the items were made
in China, except the kitty
litter, which is USA-made.
I am pleased to an-
nounce that our cat is aiding
the U.S. economy every
time he pees.
‘New age of intellectual
enlightenment’
Illinois Valley News
An Independent Weekly Newspaper Co-owned and
published by Robert R. (Bob) and Jan Rodriguez
Bob Rodriguez, Editor El Jefe
Entered as second class matter June 11, 1937 at Post
Office as Official Newspaper for Josephine County and
Josephine County Three Rivers School District,
published at 321 S. Redwood Hwy., Cave Junction, OR
97523
Periodicals postage paid at Cave Junction, OR 97523
Post Office Box 1370 USPS 258-820
Telephone (541) 592-2541, FAX (541) 592-4330
Volume 68, No. 2
Staff: Kacy Clement, Becky Loudon,
Michelle Binker, Nina Holm Consulting,
Shane Welsh.
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POLICY ON LETTERS: ‘Illinois Valley News’ welcomes letters to
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legible and not libelous. All letters must be signed, using
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verify authenticity. The ‘News’ reserves the right to edit letters.
One letter per person per month. Letters are used at the
discretion of the publisher. Unpublished letters are neither
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POSTMASTER: Please send address changes to
P.O. Box 1370, Cave Junction, OR. 97523
From Gregory Anderson
Cave Junction
A new age of intellec-
tual enlightenment is sweep-
ing the country if the follow-
ing rumors prove true:
*N.O.W. and other
feminist groups are swamp-
ing the White House with
letters thanking our presi-
dent for freeing millions of
women in Iran and Afghani-
stan so that they may vote,
go to school, hold office,
and wear clothing of their
choice.
*Algore, Harry Reid,
and other prominent De-
mocrats have recovered
memories of statements they
made before Bush that So-
cial Security is a train wreck
waiting to happen.
*Theater groups like the
“Dots” across the country
are excited about a new play
called, “The Penis Dia-
logues,” a series of stories
about men’s sexuality and
self-discovery. A represen-
tative from NAMBLA, in
conjunction with the ACLU,
is furnishing the segment on
introducing underage boys
to this discovery.
*Bereft of any original
thoughts or ideas, [Nancy]
Pelosi and Reid have un-
veiled the new motto of the
Democratic Party; “Just Say
No!”
*A bipartisan commit-
tee from Congress actually
read the Constitution and
could find nothing about the
“separation of Church and
State.” They did find where
it is prohibited for the State
to establish a religion.
*The Academy Awards
Committee announced that
its ceremony would be to
give awards for outstanding
achievement and not for
political sniping by the left-
ist extremists in their group.
*University authorities
nationwide decided to actu-
ally practice diversity and
tolerance on their campuses
by making two important
changes: First, every other
commencement speaker will
represent the conservative
point of view, compared to
the present zero conserva-
tives. Second, approxi-
mately half the professors
will be from the loony left,
instead of the present 90-
plus percent.
*Liberals will start say-
ing, “We Support Our
Troops,” without crossing
their fingers behind their
backs.
*The major media point
out that even though any
death is tragic, more high
school students commit sui-
cide than soldiers are killed
in Iraq.
slingshot hanging from my
back pocket; went to school
barefoot; and had an old
brown Airedale that was my
constant companion.
I came into Illinois Val-
ley in 1970 and bought
some acreage because it had
the same small-town atmos-
phere that I knew when I
was a youngster, and I
wanted to go back to my
roots, so to speak.
I had no intention of
disrupting the normal way
of life of those folks who
had lived here most of their
lives and raised families.
The valley’s only indus-
try for years has been
(Continued on page 3)
Pain - Stress - Injuries
Deep massage - CranioSacral Therapy
Monday - Friday by appointment
Senior Discounts - Gift Discounts
Sunday, April 3
Jubilee Park - 1 p.m. sharp!
Horn blows for
FREE egg hunt
Categories:
5 and younger
6 to 8
9 to 12
Come before 1 p.m. to enjoy
all the FREE activities:
I.V. Lions’ Train
Easter Bunny
JoCo Sheriff’s K-9s
I.V. Fire District
Gifts & Toys
‘Know-it-alls’
From Ellis Couron
Cave Junction
When I was a youngster
I wore bib overalls; had a
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In a page 1 photo cap-
tion on March 23, it incor-
rectly was reported that
there were three passengers
in a van involved in a March
18 motor vehicle accident.
The three actually were wit-
nesses. “Illinois Valley
News” regrets the error.
866.900.9932
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