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About Illinois Valley news. (Cave City, Oregon) 1937-current | View Entire Issue (March 19, 2003)
Page 2 Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction, OR Wednesday, March 19, 2003 National Organization of Proper English (NOPE) MEMO TO: Chief Wordsmith/Moon Base ‘Challenger’ FROM: Field Agent AR-88, Pacific Northwest Sector Sir: Following is the latest sector monthly report on cita- tions issued for violations under Federal Statute 92-VR -- * * * *Based on satellite-based microphones and long- distance photos, we have cited 35,607 persons for saying, “Where’s it at?” or uttering similar statements with words including “ain’t” for “isn’t”; “orientated” instead of “oriented,” and not knowing that media and criteria are plu- ral words. A total of 14 municipal officials were cited for not knowing the definition of “et al.” or for saying or writ- ing “and etc.”, the latter being a violation of the Redun- dancy Act. *Using uniformed NOPE officers of the retail store divi- sion, 659 businesses were fined for having signs reading, “In-store specials,” listed as Class-B infractions under the “Doesn’t Make Sense Ordinance,” or for placing apostro- phes in plural words. In addition, 1,584 businesses were fined because officers were forced to explain that plurals do not take apostrophes, but are used only to denote possession, or in certain abbreviations or contractions. *In the “Miscellaneous Category,” we have cited 81,346 persons for not knowing the difference between “expect” and “anticipate”, “medium” and “median”, and for overuse of “impact” instead of “affect.” *Plainclothes officers are working diligently to eradicate the problem of people not using proper tenses, mixing sin- gular nouns with plural verbs, and vice versa. (Note: We have fined 677 persons for saying or writing “vice-a-versa.” It is our hope that by continued efforts, we at NOPE will be able to curtail our efforts. We suggest that grammar in- struction at all grade levels be strengthened, and that those not in school classes be directed to undergo remedial educa- tion and then have to pass a competency test. Yours for Good Grammar: Agent AR-88 Illinois Valley News An Independent Weekly Newspaper Co-owned and published by Robert R. (Bob) and Jan Rodriguez Bob Rodriguez, Editor El Jefe Entered as second class matter June 11, 1937 at Post Office as Official Newspaper for Josephine County and Josephine County Three Rivers School District, published at 321 S. Redwood Hwy., Cave Junction, OR 97523 Periodicals postage paid at Cave Junction, OR 97523 Post Office Box 1370 USPS 258-820 Telephone (541) 592-2541, FAX (541) 592-4330 Volume 65, No. 52 Staff: Cindy Newton, Britt Fairchild, Chris Robertson, Sharon Silva & Becky Loudon Member: Oregon Newspaper Publishers Association DEADLINES: News, Classified & Display Ads, Announcements & Letters 3 P.M. FRIDAY (Classified ads will be accepted until Noon, Monday with an additional charge.) POLICY ON LETTERS: ‘Illinois Valley News’ welcomes letters to the editor provided they are of general interest, in good taste, legible and not libelous. All letters must be signed, using complete name, and contain the writer’s address and telephone number. The latter need not be published, but will be used to verify authenticity. The ‘News’ reserves the right to edit letters. One letter per person per month. Letters are used at the discretion of the publisher. Unpublished letters are neither acknowledged nor returned. A prepaid charge may be levied if a letter is inordinately long in the editor's opinion. SUBSCRIPTION RATES One year in Josephine County - $20.80 One year in Jackson and Douglas Counties - $24.40 One year in all other Oregon counties and out-of-state -$28 POSTMASTER: Please send address changes to P.O. Box 1370, Cave Junction, OR. 97523 (Editor’s Note: Views and commentary expressed in letters to the editor are strictly those of the letter- writers. * * * Typed, double-spaced letters are acceptable for consideration. Hand- written letters that are double-spaced and highly legible also can be con- sidered for publication. Cards of thanks are not accepted as letters.) * * * ‘Pornography what?’ From Mike Motley Cave Junction Recently in the mail I re- ceived what I call my first “Hate Mail.” The caption read, “Pornography, The Road To Hell.” I was amazed at this per- son’s view on life. They obvi- ously don’t know me well. It was a three-page letter on Internet computer pornog- raphy and how all us “men” were evil, no-good sinners. The purpose of my re- sponse is this. First, I am not one of your “Internet Porn Surfers” and never have I paid one dime for such items on the computer. Many years ago, when I first got my computer I fol- lowed a few pop-ups, etc., but never bought any of the so- called “free memberships.” Now I believe that the “person” who sent this “no return address” letter has a misunderstanding of a busi- ness that my partner and I are putting in the valley. We propose to open an adult novelty and gift shop -- not a porno shop. There will not now, or ever, be so-called “porno booths” or “porno movie viewing” in our business. I know there will be peo- ple upset about it, and there will be people who are not. I would like to point out when you read the local paper there are many things happening in this valley that people don’t like. We are a fairly small com- munity, but we manage to fill up a whole page of “Police Blotter” every week. We are not out to hurt anyone. I would think that with all the businesses open- ing and closing all over town that someone starting a busi- ness would get a little support. After all this is America, and just because you do not sup- port my choices does not mean that other’s choices too should be condemned. Freedom of independent private sexual expression in one’s own home is not a crime, nor should it be treated as such. I would like to point out the availability of sexual aids is already in Medford and Merlin. I would also point out that people who think “adult sex or lovemaking” is a crime should wonder where they came from, and where their children came from? I would guess it was be- tween two consenting adults in most cases. I hope this helps clear up my issues and the “issue” of “us men” being, or should I say, me, being an “Internet Porn King.” ‘Women in Black’ From Lee Paxton Cave Junction I have never written a let- ter to a newspaper before, but today was the day. Recently I was in Down- town Cave Junction and I saw some people dressed in black standing on the corner of Lister Street and Hwy. 199. I was told it is a group of women who stand there in silence with placards and signs. I was also told that their goal is to protest the decisions that our current government is making in regard to the de- ployment of U.S. troops to the Middle East and the possibil- ity of war with Iraq. Having served in the U.S. Army and been deployed a couple of times myself into countries that are far less hab- itable than ours and having been in situations far less comfortable than we find here in Southern Oregon, I won- dered what would prompt such bizarre behavior? It made me angry to see what those people were doing and why. What perspective of the world, and the way our United States compares to that world, do they have? Don’t they know what selfish actions such as protests against our government and our way of life do to the mo- rale of the military, not to mention our citizens and com- munities? Don’t they understand that their protest weakens our country’s resolve and under- mines our standing in the in- ternational community. At the same time it strengthens our enemy’s (the terrorists) re- solve and standing. Don’t they understand that now is the time for us to sup- port our government and mili- tary through prayer, words and deeds? I have two sons in the U.S. Army. My oldest son is a sergeant E-7 deployed twice, once to Grenada with the 82nd Airborne at Ft. Bragg and once to the Gulf War. My youngest son is a 1st lieutenant, who just returned to Ft. Bragg in May from a six-month deployment to a lovely place: Afghanistan. When I returned home last week a call came from my youngest son (he had been on a 24-hour standby), saying that he would be leaving in a couple of hours for (you guess where, ‘cause he couldn’t say). He had just come home to say good-bye to his wife and children and give us a call. I told him about the Women in Black and how an- gry I felt. His reply was, “Yeah, I know dad, but don’t be mad. That’s what we do, it’s our duty to protect their safety and freedom to pro- test.” I guess I’d forgotten that, but it reminded me of some- thing that my older son had told me when I asked him why he was going to leave a good job and re-enlist in the Army. His answer was, “In the Army every day I train with men (Continued on page 3) THEATER NO MORE - The former Ivy Theater, operated by Jack Goldwasser, in Downtown Cave Junction closed for business approximately 20 years ago. The building now is owned by Mike Murphy, who is refacing the front for a sim- pler look. Murphy plans to use his building for storing vari- ous items that he owns. Josephine County Fairgrounds Grants Pass
