Siletz news /, June 01, 1998, Page 3, Image 3

Siletz News
Health and Wellness
Native Men, Wellness and Mei
BY DAVID L. QUINCY
Page 3
focus was on taking responsibility
for one's decisions. By blaming
others we take on the role of a
victim, sometimes even as we are
victimizing someone else.
An example of this is a man
who is abusing his wife,
who blames his wife
with a statement
such as "If she
kept her mouth
shut, I wouldn't
have to hit her,"
This is the man's
pathetic attempt
to _ndt accept
responsibility . f o r .
himself
and
his
actions.
Discussion also centered . on
addictions and addicts. As an
alcoholic, I am not responsible for
having the disease of alcoholism. I
am, however, responsible for my
recovery from that disease. Tbis
means that if I go to treatment I
will participate and work . a
program of recovery, and. riot
blame the program or others if I
fail. Even if you are a tribal person,
elder, or somebody else you think
people should respect, and the
treatment program is a Tribal
program. If you quit treatment,
and find yourself homeless
relationships. This included the
need for men to take care of their
health.
It was pointed out to us that
many Native men suffer diabetes,
high blood pressure and choles­
terol, and heart problems. Diet and
exercise are healthy ways to
physical wellness, which in
turn can aid in helping us
keep emotionally, mental­
ly, and spiritually healthy.
The general theme that
was
fairly
constant
throughout the conference
as illustrated by everything
I have talked about is
responsibility. Taking responsi­
bility for my actions, my health,
my spirituality, all of these are
necessary for wellness.
At this conference there were a
wide variety of tribes represented,
with a variety of professions,
including counselors, Tribal coun­
cil people^ Tribal chairmen, etc.
In listening to their problems, I
found that while circumstances
may be unique, the problems were
not. The solutions were varied but
equally applied. The idea of
principles before personalities
applies as equally to someone just
trying to get their lives together as
to the Tribal Councilmen! Personal
responsibility leads to personal
leadership leads to wellness in
individuals, families and, ulti­
mately, community.
May any who read this learn
these lessons and benefit from
them. I, for one, will do my best to
incorporate wellness into my life.
Takticare.
particularly women, have. Many
of these were negative. We were
n Sunday, April 19, 1998, I
then asked to list and examine the
boarded a Delta Airlines
flight to Albuquerque, New characteristics of our ancestors,
particularly those who were
Mexico. I was on my way to the
considered great leaders. These
Wellness & Native Men VI
characteristics
include
self-
Conference "R esponsible M en,
sacrifice,
honesty,
bravery,
Respectful Partner, R eliable
wisdom, intelligence, and others.
Fathers." At that moment, I did
These desirable leadership charac­
not know what to expect from this
teristics are ones that to the best of
conference, except that it would
our abilities we should emulate.
benefit my own personal recovery.
Another workshop was titled
This expectation was met and was
"Sobriety, Fathers, Relationships
exceeded by my attendance and
and Spirituality." In this session we
participation.
discussed the different elements of
Participation is a keyword here.
Spirituality,
like ceremony, prayer,
It means that rather then going to
being connected, and compassion
this conference to just observe, I
for' others. We examined and
was going to participate, to take
expounded upon the statement,
healthy risks. By the time I had to
"You loved your mother, and
leave, I had been giveri hew
respected your father." It is
insights into what if means to be a
possible and even necessary to do
Native American Man. What
both, to love and respect both your
responsibilities I have to myself, to
mother and father. .We listed
my wife, to my daughter and to
elements of sobriety, which
my conuriunity.
includes recovery, acceptance,
The
Conference
officially
humility, healing, relapse, family
opened with a guest speaker who
and feeling good.
was 80 years old. He talked about
We talked about healthy
his son, whom he remembers
relationships and wellness and it's
yelling "daddy, daddy" and
relationship to the previous
..running to h im , o n e d a y w h en he
discussions. How patterns of
a n d /o r still u sin g , y o u can n o t
cam e hom e. H e then shared w ith
relationship
behaviors
are
hold th e treatment program
us that his son died in 1964. But
repeated until, hopefully, at some
responsible, to pay your rent, or to
that because he had, throughout
point, the pattern is broken and
keep you clean and sober. You are
his son's life, told him that he
admitted to. When this happens,
responsible for you and your
loved him and was free with his
healing and healthy relationships
actions, no one else is.
hugs and affections, that he had
can develop.
Summary: The days began with
good memories of his son. He
The last workshop that I wanted
a general session and on the
asserted that it was more than all
to talk about was titled, "I am
second day our guest speakers
right for fathers to show and
10Q% Responsible for Everything
were three ladies Whd stressed the
express affection for their children:
Tri M y Life." This workshop's
importance of wellness in healthy
it is vital that they do so. He aiso
talked about ho w^ humor and
spirituality are important to
wellness.
JU N E 1 8 -2 0 , 1998
After this opening meeting, we
broke up into our clans. These
clans were run like a circle talk,
and everyone was given the
B
Summer Solstice ceremony is SATURDAY: Breakfast
opportunity to share. My clan was
fast approaching! Ceremony dates
(Springfield/Portland AreaOffice)
the Hawk Clan. An elder named
are June 1 8,19 & 20,1998. Dancing
José Ramon moderated it. These
Traditional Dinner/Potluck (All Areas
begins at dusk each evening. Each of
clan meetings were an important
Tribal Comm. Center
the tribal area office staff is asked to help in providing
part in processing and assimilat­
Traditional dancing at dusk
food for the different traditional potluck meals. Each of
ing the information we gathered
the offices we are again asking to help us with the
We appreciate all the help that we've had in the pasi
from the workshops and for
preparationand serving of each of the meals. As long as and expect many more people to attend this year'i
expressing the emotions wê all
the weather permits, most meals will be at the kitchen ceremony. If you have any questions, please give th<
felt, in a healthy safe environment.
at the dancehouse area. Saturday's evening meal will Cultural Dept. a call at 1(800) 922-1399 Ext. 244 & 246 oi
The following . workshop I
be at the Tribal Community Center.
attended stands out as being
444-8244 & 444-8246. RSVP to Craig Whitehead
particularly helpful. A great-
Committee Chairman or Selene Rilatos if there is i
THURSDAY: Practice Night at dusk
grandson of Sitting Bull, by the
designated staff person to help with the different meals
Evening meal (Siletz Area)
name of Charlie Stewart, ran
Happy summer to you all. We look forward tc
"Healthy Leadership." We were
FRIDAY:
Traditional dancing at dusk ,
hearing from each of you!
asked to list and look at all of the
H um 'C hil
Evening meal (Salem Area Office)
stereotypes of men that people,
O
(strzmöny