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About Applegater. (Jacksonville, OR) 2008-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 2012)
16 Winter 2012 Applegater Dolores Durando Short Story Following is a short story from Dolores Durando’s yet-to-be-published book about her mischievous, blue-ribbon winning miniature donkey, Tennessee Ernie. Voices of the Applegate will sing again Voices of the Applegate ended their fall session with two concerts in November, one in Jacksonville and the other at the Applegate Lodge. The program was full of exciting pieces from the classics of Vivaldi and Handel to songs from ABBA and Africa. We will be starting our spring session on January 16, 2013, with rehearsals at the Applegate Library, 18485 North Applegate Road, every Wednesday evening from 7 to 8:30 pm. The session will last 12 weeks with concerts on Friday, April 12, and Sunday, April 14. The times and places for the events will be announced in the next Applegater. We are a community choir; no auditions are necessary. We love to sing four-part harmony in a variety of arrangements from classical to modern. All are invited to attend our rehearsals and become part of our energetic choir directed by Blake Weller and accompanied by his lovely and talented wife Julie. For more information, call Joan Peterson at 541-846-6988. The Christmas bells were ringing, In the meantime, those panty hose lights twinkled from every storefront, last- had sneaked down and were nudging minute shoppers were crowding the aisles. my boot tops. I was nearly on my knees, We had not gone very far when I securely hobbled. Those panty hose had became aware that some sinister force was accomplished in a very short time what my at work below the belt line. male companion had tried to do for years. Unobtrusively, I tugged frantically to I staggered to the curb, sat down restore those panty hose to their original and cried. A man came over and said position, but to no avail. sympathetically, “Lady, you seem to be in My steps were slowed to a crawl trouble, can I help you?” and to just keep my balance became a “Yes,” I sobbed, “do you have a knife?” challenge. Ernie got Ernie said, hysterical. “What? “Why are you A knife? A knife? stumbling around Don’t do it. Please like that? Stand don’t do it. I’ll be up. I’m surprised a good. There’s always woman of your age hope. Think of your would walk in that children. Think of suggestive manner. me. You know I You’re embarrassing can’t stand the sight me.” of blood. I’m calling “Well, Ernie,” I nine-one-one.” said, “since you ask, “Ernie,” I said, I’m having a problem “turn your back, that I really can’t close your eyes, stop explain to you. Ladies blubbering.” of my generation I kicked off my do not discuss their boots and with a few intimate apparel with strokes of the knife I The spoiled Tennessee Ernie showing off— the opposite sex.” freed myself from the and probably winning a blue ribbon for his “Sex, sex?” Ernie beloved owner, Dolores Durando. clutches of those one- snickered. “What do size-fits-all that had old ladies know about sex? Say, did I ever threatened to paralyze me for life. tell you the one about…” “Free. Free at last.” I skipped down “Ernie,” I gasped. “Hush your the street like a sixteen-year-old. I wanted mouth and give me a hand here before I to detour the feed store but Ernie wouldn’t fall down.” hear of it. With every step, those panty hose They laughed when they saw us crept lower, coiling around me like a boa coming. The wannabe in the bib overalls constrictor. said, “Hey, mama. You’re a lot spryer goin’ As we neared the feed store, a couple than comin’.” of wannabe cowboys were lounging on Ernie stepped closer. Suddenly there the porch. They started to laugh when was a scream of pain and an outraged voice they saw us. The tall, skinny one with bellowed, “Lookit my boots. My brand the bib overalls and the shiny new boots new boots are all ruint. I think my foot is said,“Lookit that. Lookit the swing on broke and I’m all messed up.” that old mama when she walks. Wisht I Ernie said innocently, but with a had a swing like that in my backyard. And devilish twinkle in his eye, “Pardon me, lookit that fuzzy-looking dog leading her.” I’m so sorry. Did I accidentally splatter Ernie was furious. you when your foot got under my foot? “Ernie,” I said, “ignore that ignorant Imagine that. I can see that green is not creature, I’m in real trouble here. Have your best color. Sorry about that. Merry I not stood by you in your time of need? Christmas to you, too.” Your operation? When you got your teeth “Ernie,” I said, “I love you. Let’s skip floated? The farrier thing?” all the way home.” And we did. NEW! Classified Advertising Sunshine Plaza Salon for your holiday needs. 10% off Perms & Colors thru Dec. 7390 Hwy. 238, Ruch. 541-899-7660. Cupcake Creations—Cakes, Brownies, Cookies, and MORE!! 1739 E. McAndrews, Medford. 541-857-2797. Applegate Rock Shop for unique gifts. Route 238, Murphy. Open Monday - Saturday 11- 4. 541-218-0323. Flawless men’s consignment. Holiday hrs: Monday - Friday 10 - 5:30, Saturday 10 - 4. 106 S. Grape, Medford. 541-840-1280. Complete Home Restoration. 40 yrs. exp. Cabinet refinishing, tile, painting, drywall, etc. Call Chuck Sanchez at 541-660-4359. Place an ad! Contact Sally Buttshaw at 541- 646-8418 or sallybuttshaw@ymail. com. $12 for three lines of text (approximately 120 characters and spaces). Advance payment required (payment accepted online at www. applegater.org). 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