Image provided by: Clackamas Community College; Oregon City, OR
About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (March 14, 2012)
Art ulture aced@clackamas.edu Wedifesday, M arch 14, ¡2012. The Clackamas P rin ty Survive the aftermath of global meltdown By Katherine Suydam & Isaac Soper The ‘digital age’ is coming to an end mobiles), 3D films will be the. standard format and the death o f the Internet probably isn’t too far off, thanks' im part to the ttew “War on Cyber Terror” (hide your Guy Fawkes masks folks, for anonymity is now . a crime). On the brighter side, maybe we’ll get a new season of BBC’s “Sherlock.” Will - we see the . collapse By Isaac Soper o f our economy? W ill we see* A rts &: C ulture E ditor World War III? W hen will China cash in on our debt? Socioeconomic collapse is There are many who believe well on its way. In the past few that the end of the world as we months, we still have y et to-see know it is near. tim e travel. Walt Disney’s head W hat do the days leading up is 3 sitting in a freezer some to. the. end look like? Will m ere. where. At least we can look be widespread' panic? Will we" forward to robotic cars and the know when the end is near? Or apocalypse. will It be sudden? W hat wilt the*fUture''bring, I m sure we’ll alf"bC caugKt“ dff besides the long-awaited mass guard, even those who have production o f electric cars, tried to “prepare” for it (what space elevators and YouTube ever that means}. classes?-' | O ur reliance on technology O ur economy is in the toilet, is' ridiculous; /we think" we’re ' and its not getting any better, entitled to. our discoveries and yet we still desire to make our, that they’ve made us the gods of technological dreams a reality, civilization. Granted we may be more “intelligent” than previ no matter the cost. According to many theolo- ous generations', but this kind gists and conspiracy theorists, o f intelligence only goes so far. the world is coming to an end, Hqw can we say that it is intel and if the Mayans , have any ligent to know how to use a thing to say -about it-, this year computer, but not intelligent to know how to search fof will be the last. - We have no exports at ail. food and identify edible plants. Show me something that says Wait, but J can search for food it was made in the USA and I’ll on Amazon! H at’s off to you, show you the machine that it- you digital rainforest guide. was manufactured with that has I have nothing to com plain about anymore-. I’m not a "Made in China” tag on it. . ■ We th in k "-our inventions worried about the e n d ’o f the make us invincible, but if any Internet coming, nor am I wor thing, they make us - weaker. ried about the end of the world. W ith so much reliance on tech Bring on the apocalypse, itG nology and imported goods, we time for a change, I say If we are at the end, let’s live have made ourselves into the feeblest generation in recorded out our lives, and let’s learn all history, with the least amount w e can. Be kind to one another, of “primitive skills,” which in because this mo ment is all w e- almost any other-'.culture or have; we have no guarantee of generation would be considered tomorrow. This is the beginning o f the necessary. - - The economy is failing, if end o f the digital age. As-the you believe that it’s, getting bet funny man said, “Catch you on ter, great job looking at the glass the flip side.” as being half lull, but you’re'' wrong. | O ur national debt is higher than ever,. according to the U.SlTl'easury, approximate ly $ 1 5 /trillion ana counting. Large parts o f that debt are owned by countries, across the globe (I assume we give them ’ Monopoly, money to pay inter est}.? ' iiagf So what will the future hold? Robotic cats (GM’s vice presi dent Alan Taub predicts that by 2020, autonomous systems will be standard equipment in auto tapered design it retains more heat. A dark colored bag is referred as it can become a C opy E d ito r & A & C E d ito r etter shield from unwelcome W ith the end o f the world eyes at night. undoubtedly doming nearer 4. Good, sturdy knife we thought we would save’you A knife, as with any tool, the trouble o f deciding what requires maintenance. You are. to pack. going to hav eto learn how to 1. Backpack, large enough sharpen'your knife and rnake to carry your gear sure you keep it oiled, as to As you, wander through an not let it rust. Remember, apocalyptic wasteland, you the capability to successfully are going to need something throw a knife may be fun, but to carry your gear and scav- • it’s a one way ticket in to th e enged supplies. A large hiking realm of “I lost my knife.” 1 backpack would make a good choice, -although a shopping can will make do, as seen in many film incarnations, such as “The Road.” . , 5'. Edible plants guide 2. Tarp The ability to forage for Cheap and reliable, a tarp plants can be a very rewarding will become one of your prized skill, especially for those, who. possessions in the wasteland, don’t get poisoned and die in eing used for shelter, v in the process. Find a guide' and almost any, climate, as k rain study it like youf life depends catcher, and a temporary- back upon it, because it probably pack./ Heck, you could even doesi'Keep it in a plastic bag patch clothes with one. If you as to keep it dry. can, find more -than one, it’s 6. Canteen probably a good idea to have There is no way „around it, a backup. Remember, a tarp is you need something to store not fireproof. water, in,-it islypur lifeblood. Three days’ w ithout water spells death for nearly- any human being. Although nearly.- any clean container can be '"us'ed’TiSf find som ething durable,;it; w ill save you *a lot o f stress, and your life-in the .long run. 7. Water purification method Boiling'water works well to 3>. Sleeping bag, specifi kill microbes, although, a water purifier is sometimes a better cally a mummy bag Let’s take a page out of the option, because it allows you- book o f a true survivor, Katniss to convert some of the nasti Everdeen o f “The Hunger est looking water into some o f Games” and remember that the tastiest water you’v e ever not only can the warmthf of had.- Sawyer makes one that, a sleeping baig keep you alive, you squeeze, which is; sup-' but it can also become the sole posed to last for a million comfort in a terrifying world. gallons. O ther brands include Because the mummy bag has a MSI and Katadyn. Purified water is always a better choice' than giardia. 8. H int and steel If your sleeping bag or water purifier fails you, you will need a way around them to get warmth and nan-lethal water. Fire is . a useful tool, but keep ifi mind that it can be dangerous. Just because the world-is ending doesn’t mean ■that Smokey the Bear won’t come a n d ' maul you in your sleep. X 9. Good sense o f humor Being able to keep morale high is always a worthy skill in difficult times. Lost your car keys? T hat’s a good one. O ut df food? Laugh it up. Your shoes have holes in them? Ha-ha, You, accidentally fire a crossbow into yóur foot? StCTp medical treatm ent. 10. Companion(s) • T he apocalyptic lifestyle can get pretty lonely and hav ing a friend(s) or a dog (or volleyball) with you can keep you from going insane, along with the added bonus o f hav ing others help., scavenge for food and ’supplies. Choose wisely though, or they can have the opposite effect.
