Art
ulture
aced@clackamas.edu
Wedifesday, M arch 14, ¡2012.
The Clackamas P rin ty
Survive the aftermath of
global meltdown
By Katherine Suydam &
Isaac Soper
The ‘digital age’ is coming
to an end
mobiles), 3D films will be the.
standard format and the death
o f the Internet probably isn’t
too far off, thanks' im part to
the ttew “War on Cyber Terror”
(hide your Guy Fawkes masks
folks, for anonymity is now . a
crime). On the brighter side,
maybe we’ll get a new season of
BBC’s “Sherlock.”
Will - we see the . collapse
By Isaac Soper
o f our economy? W ill we see*
A rts &: C ulture E ditor
World War III? W hen will
China cash in on our debt?
Socioeconomic collapse is There are many who believe
well on its way. In the past few that the end of the world as we
months, we still have y et to-see know it is near.
tim e travel. Walt Disney’s head
W hat do the days leading up
is 3 sitting in a freezer some to. the. end look like? Will m ere.
where. At least we can look be widespread' panic? Will we"
forward to robotic cars and the know when the end is near? Or
apocalypse.
will It be sudden?
W hat wilt the*fUture''bring, I m sure we’ll alf"bC caugKt“ dff
besides the long-awaited mass guard, even those who have
production o f electric cars, tried to “prepare” for it (what
space elevators and YouTube ever that means}.
classes?-' |
O ur reliance on technology
O ur economy is in the toilet, is' ridiculous; /we think" we’re '
and its not getting any better, entitled to. our discoveries and
yet we still desire to make our, that they’ve made us the gods of
technological dreams a reality, civilization. Granted we may be
more “intelligent” than previ
no matter the cost.
According to many theolo- ous generations', but this kind
gists and conspiracy theorists, o f intelligence only goes so far.
the world is coming to an end, Hqw can we say that it is intel
and if the Mayans , have any ligent to know how to use a
thing to say -about it-, this year computer, but not intelligent
to know how to search fof
will be the last. -
We have no exports at ail. food and identify edible plants.
Show me something that says Wait, but J can search for food
it was made in the USA and I’ll on Amazon! H at’s off to you,
show you the machine that it- you digital rainforest guide.
was manufactured with that has
I have nothing to com
plain about anymore-. I’m not
a "Made in China” tag on it.
. ■ We th in k "-our inventions worried about the e n d ’o f the
make us invincible, but if any Internet coming, nor am I wor
thing, they make us - weaker. ried about the end of the world.
W ith so much reliance on tech Bring on the apocalypse, itG
nology and imported goods, we time for a change, I say
If we are at the end, let’s live
have made ourselves into the
feeblest generation in recorded out our lives, and let’s learn all
history, with the least amount w e can. Be kind to one another,
of “primitive skills,” which in because this mo ment is all w e-
almost any other-'.culture or have; we have no guarantee of
generation would be considered tomorrow.
This is the beginning o f the
necessary. - -
The economy is failing, if end o f the digital age. As-the
you believe that it’s, getting bet funny man said, “Catch you on
ter, great job looking at the glass the flip side.”
as being half lull, but you’re''
wrong. | O ur national debt is
higher than ever,. according to
the U.SlTl'easury, approximate
ly $ 1 5 /trillion ana counting.
Large parts o f that debt are
owned by countries, across the
globe (I assume we give them ’
Monopoly, money to pay inter
est}.?
' iiagf
So what will the future hold?
Robotic cats (GM’s vice presi
dent Alan Taub predicts that by
2020, autonomous systems will
be standard equipment in auto
tapered design it retains more
heat. A dark colored bag is
referred as it can become a
C opy E d ito r & A & C E d ito r
etter shield from unwelcome
W ith the end o f the world eyes at night.
undoubtedly doming nearer
4. Good, sturdy knife
we thought we would save’you
A knife, as with any tool,
the trouble o f deciding what requires maintenance. You are.
to pack.
going to hav eto learn how to
1. Backpack, large enough sharpen'your knife and rnake
to carry your gear
sure you keep it oiled, as to
As you, wander through an not let it rust. Remember,
apocalyptic wasteland, you the capability to successfully
are going to need something throw a knife may be fun, but
to carry your gear and scav- • it’s a one way ticket in to th e
enged supplies. A large hiking realm of “I lost my knife.” 1
backpack would make a good
choice, -although a shopping
can will make do, as seen in
many film incarnations, such
as “The Road.” .
, 5'. Edible plants guide
2. Tarp
The ability to forage for
Cheap and reliable, a tarp plants can be a very rewarding
will become one of your prized skill, especially for those, who.
possessions in the wasteland, don’t get poisoned and die in
eing used for shelter, v in the process. Find a guide' and
almost any, climate, as k rain study it like youf life depends
catcher, and a temporary- back upon it, because it probably
pack./ Heck, you could even doesi'Keep it in a plastic bag
patch clothes with one. If you as to keep it dry.
can, find more -than one, it’s
6. Canteen
probably a good idea to have
There is no way „around it,
a backup. Remember, a tarp is you need something to store
not fireproof.
water, in,-it islypur lifeblood.
Three days’ w ithout water
spells death for nearly- any
human being. Although nearly.-
any clean container can be
'"us'ed’TiSf
find som ething durable,;it; w ill
save you *a lot o f stress, and
your life-in the .long run.
7. Water purification
method
Boiling'water works well to
3>. Sleeping bag, specifi kill microbes, although, a water
purifier is sometimes a better
cally a mummy bag
Let’s take a page out of the option, because it allows you-
book o f a true survivor, Katniss to convert some of the nasti
Everdeen o f “The Hunger est looking water into some o f
Games” and remember that the tastiest water you’v e ever
not only can the warmthf of had.- Sawyer makes one that,
a sleeping baig keep you alive, you squeeze, which is; sup-'
but it can also become the sole posed to last for a million
comfort in a terrifying world. gallons. O ther brands include
Because the mummy bag has a MSI and Katadyn. Purified
water is always a better choice'
than giardia.
8. H int and steel
If your sleeping bag or
water purifier fails you, you
will need a way around them
to get warmth and nan-lethal
water. Fire is . a useful tool, but
keep ifi mind that it can be
dangerous. Just because the
world-is ending doesn’t mean
■that Smokey the Bear won’t
come a n d ' maul you in your
sleep.
X
9. Good sense o f humor
Being able to keep morale
high is always a worthy skill
in difficult times. Lost your
car keys? T hat’s a good one.
O ut df food? Laugh it up.
Your shoes have holes in them?
Ha-ha, You, accidentally fire a
crossbow into yóur foot? StCTp
medical treatm ent.
10. Companion(s)
• T he apocalyptic lifestyle
can get pretty lonely and hav
ing a friend(s) or a dog (or
volleyball) with you can keep
you from going insane, along
with the added bonus o f hav
ing others
help., scavenge
for food and ’supplies. Choose
wisely though, or they can
have the opposite effect.