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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 28, 2009)
culture 3 Wednesday, Oct. 28, 2009 the clackamas print 11 st and worst horror films “Prom Night” iny other kids who saw this movie the night before their senior prom, I couldn’t stop laughing for more than 60 seconds throughout the whole thing. From the terrible the most predictable scenes - a girl walking “quietly” through an empty warehouse happens to knock over an entire stack of paint cans, lots of them, stacked in a dangle, and alerting the mass murderer of her presence. No, that never happens in scary movies. (Oh, sarcasm.) Bottom line: see it. It’s so bad it’s amazingly good. ious: “House of Wax” ilm debut, Paris Hilton won the Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Suppörting Actress. A loose remake of the 1953 version, this movie is painful to say the least, but to watch Paris Hilton run around screaming her head. off. , lilda-left-well-enough-alone”: “Grudge 2” 111 admit it - the first one gave us shivers, but Sarah Sellar and the sequel bombed. The producers should have t Grudge 2 was one too many of a Grudge movie and ne should have just been left alone. Fortunately, for your lent and in their bad judgment they made another one. {this is the last, but watch it for a good laugh anyways. some: “Evil Dead 2” lond in a series of 80s horror films, the main character is Id by Bruce Campbell who deals with “deadites,” demons la “Book of the Dead.” Which raises the question: what’s omental in a good horror movie than demons? This movie h the ridiculous rental price Blockbuster is sure to charge By: “Mom’s Got a Date With a Vampire” [remember this 2000 Disney channel movie, the Hansen the aunt from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Although it eased in major theaters or any theater at all, it still makes to think of the horrible stereotype of a vampire in that kney succeeded in making one of the worst Halloween | time, even for kids. And are we surprised? Not one bit. rable mentions for best movies ircism of Emily Rose” w comedy pop-culture book promises to be ulti- te guide to surviving teens or being successful e humorously les and exagger- potypes of the an contempo- terican teen teens and/or being successful. The whole piece is a drawn-out joke about religious culture in the U.S. ktthew Ostergren & Culture Editor pver features two very [men that appear to plate 20s or early 30s pturally happy expres- iheir faces. I think this lole point of the book, lg about the lifestyle typically promoted in conservative religious s unnatural. [are looking for a witty It will make you think ou should probably not pt Would God’s Pottery tvever, if you are look ed something that will It a few laughs and has a ated gags that are pretty pn I recommend “What tad’s Pottery Do?” It is it of light-reading. u haven’t guessed by I it is a satire of the flux of religious devo id inspirationals that en published and mar- hens. The cover itself p the book as the ulti- ■ide to surviving your ...you will find that the urge to mate with your fellow Teens will be strong - as strong as a battering ram trying to pound open the doors to a beautiful castle,., Gideon Lamb and Jeremiah Smallchild What Would God's Pottery Do? The authors of the book, Gideon Lamb and Jeremiah Smallchild, portray themselves as a Christian music duo with a lot of good advice for teens. In reality, the duo is a pair of come dians named Krister Johnson and Wilson Hall who performed on the sixth season of the show “Last Comic Standing.” They constantly exaggerate every silly stereotype and use the most delightfully fimny euphemisms. The book talks about every thing - how to deal with one’s parents to making friends and evein how to avoid drugs. One of the most common themes is abstinence. God’s Pottery stresses the importance of not having sex before marriage over and over again. They describe the urge as a relentless force that must be resisted until one’s wedding day. “Thé choice may sound easy now, but you will find that the urge to mate with your fellow Teens will be strong — as strong as a battering ram trying to pound open the doors to a beau tiful castle, or a sledgehammer cracking open ai¥ oyster to get the pearl inside. But the beau tiful castle doors must remain closed and the oyster strong, for one moment of giving in could result in pregnancy or death,* and hellfire.” Overall “What Would God’s Pottery Do?” is funny and a good read, but there are better options out there. Still I would recommend giving it a read if you have the time. Even more so, I would recommend looking up some of their work using the Web, as their live stuff is fun nier than the book.
