Image provided by: Clackamas Community College; Oregon City, OR
About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (May 6, 2009)
lackamas Print The Jerk: Like sheep to the slaughter Every once in great while happiness b its cuddly little head and gives you jg bear hug and a lollypop; here at The ■ however, I firmly believe that bears ■thug, they maul you and subsequently Imlikely to give you candy. If you want ■other kind of column go pick up a ■elodcon Magazine. B had an extra week to talk to some Ents and staff about their thoughts, and ■y, I’m not impressed. Now while this Boiidity in my head that infanticide isn’t Bs a had thing, it also inspired me to ■ess a few things. ■he first item of business is this whole ■paceTaccbtxik crap. I didn’t want to |e about this in the beginning, but then 1 Bed that it was just enough to piss me off ■use it’s so close to legal prostitution, it les my skin crawl. First and foremost, I Be that as modem day college students ■cool” to be on a social networking 11 also realize, however, that anything ■ Pattinson (the dude from “Twilight”) Bn of must be fundamentally flawed ■me respect. What disturbs me is that Beb site is a substitute for actual com- Bcation. The argument for this is that it ■‘social networking” web site, and by le. is merely a vehicle for communica- Bhat subsequently acts as a catalyst to Ber actual interpersonal relationships. I B believe that none of you know what ■means though, so let’s go with my Bal argument. People make these sites Bum them into competitions for how B friends you can get. Check out this B device called “Friend Flood” next ■you’re near Google. Basically, people It to look popular so much so, to the It where they’ll actually hire a virtual n to send hookers to their MySpace, ■ant, so society has devalued itself so lb to the point that now instead of going ■real pimp in Northeast Portland and |g some cheap skank to get your rocks Beople are hiring “fake” pimps so they ook so appealing to each other with fiance that they might impress a cheap k, so they can get their rocks off. How >u people manage to breathe on a reg- jasis? Honestly, you type up the most he crap on your little Facebooks with 5 expectation that the rest of the world tiding your friends) actually cares what ¡ell you're doing at that exact moment ■witter). It’s like John Madden giving By-by-play of your life, but the differ- ■ between you and The Steelers is that I actually succeed in their endeavors. Be second item I want to tackle is lies. Now, I’m not an overtly political Guest Column: A social anarchist look at Associ ated Student Government . Vince Burkhart aycob Izso lie Clackamas Print' News Opinion 3 Wednesday, May 6, 2009 guy. I’m not political because you people “think” you are, and that concerns me. I put “think” in quotes because I’m fairly certain you don’t actually do it. There comes a point when society drops its massive trou sers and you people are the first to get on you knees... and pray... of course; pray to your apparent saviors like Obama. Yes, mighty Barack and his hypoallergenic dog. Could be a crime fighting team right? No, it couldn’t, but you idiots certainly think so. I can’t watch TV anymore because I know the world somehow finds value in what those pedantic para-professionals on CNN say. I know you watch it because they keep coming back on, and they’ll keep coming back as long as you keep watch ing. But, that’s what you do; you take a relatively unknown black guy from Hawaii and turn him into the next Christ Why — because you’re sheep who need something to follow (for more information see Hitler’s Mein Kampf). I actually had to sit here as nine out of ten Oregonians had an orgasm every time they showed the beloved (at the time) president-to-be in his lovely blue tie. What a shocker that he didn’t meet your utterly ridiculous expectations. Am I attacking your political views? No, because I know you don’t have any, certainly not any intelligent ones. So please, do me (and yourselves) a favor and stop voting. I keep getting assholes telling me it’s great we had such a voter turn out (“don’t repeat folk wisdom” see Plato). Guess what? It’s not In fact, it’s terrible we had such a voter turn out because you people think that reading what some guy says his domestic policies are, that you understand how the system works. You know that scene from “It’s A Wonderfill Life” about the angels getting their wings? Well every time you morons open your largely ineffective mouths I grow a tumor (and the surgery is starting to get expensive). You don’t even know what the hell a domestic policy is let alone the thousands there are in circulation, how they affect the current political stratum, or that in actuality those policies are primarily distributed by Congress and state govern ments. They say that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and I got to spend a week collecting the garbage you people spew from your mouths. I treasure it so much I decided to even give you, the lovely reader, a piece of my column. So, beginning this week here are The Three Stooges. Question: Are you an idiot? “To a point, yeah,” Jessica Rogers, student “Yeah,” Justin McNeil, student “Sometimes, yeah,” Allyn Gaspar, stu dent Sometimes I hate always being right BIG CAREERS START AT OIT Oregon Institute of Technology HEALTH INFORMATICS a rapidly developing field that combines computer technologies, information science, healthcare and business management. \ Il Contribute? What is ASG? We can tear this apart a little and perhaps discover the truth. It stands for associated student government. We will start with “associated”. We can get behind this, as it just means they are associated with something, in this case the school. “Student”: once again, not so difficult. The people involved are stu dents. It’s when we get to “government” that I get kind of hung up. I don’t have the world’s best under standing of why governments do the things they do. I’m working on it, but I’m far from perfect. ASG is no grand exception to my lack of understanding. So, I decided to see if anyone would explain it to me. I spoke with several members of the ASG. They seemed a little pensive at first. Not wanting to give the wrong impression or seem as if I was mis representing myself, I had told them I was writing this for The Print. Once I further explained that I had not so much as picked up a copy of said publication until more than a week ago, they were more than happy to explain what they do. I’m certain 1 know why. Relationships between any kind of government and independent media always seemed a little strained to me. Now from everything I gather this government is no different from any other. There are things I like and things I don’t. First off, no one was able to explain to me to my satisfaction how one gets in. They also get tuition waiv ers. From speaking to several members, it seems that at least half their tuition is paid outright. They put in a lot of work for this (or at least some of them do), but I think once all is said and done, this strikes me as a bit odd. I don’t know who is in charge of updating their min utes on the web site, but it went almost two months without update. After I brought this to their attention it was mostly rectified, but isn’t that something that should be done every week? Is their performance a factor in whether or not they get this waiver? I know that is the case with my job here, me being a work study student and all. With the college budget requiring so many cuts, was this one of the things that got the axe or at least cut back? Not so much. If they are worried that no one will help provide the ASG services if they are not getting some monetary com pensation, then the school e’ither doesn’t trust these students enough or is attract ing people who are in this game for the wrong reason. Now I don’t want to give the impres sion that I hate the ASG, or am hostile or antagonistic towards them. They do a lot of things I appreciate. The blood drives, for example; I go to every one of these I can. Or collecting cans to help fund neat things for various departments; it may not be altruistic, but at least they are recycling. The grants they provide, even if the amounts seem meager in some cases, are better than no help at all. The clubs provide an outlet for people who would otherwise have nothing to fill their time or not be able to meet people of like interests as easily. And really, is there anyone who doesn’t like a barbeque? All together, I appreciate the things the ASG does for others, even if I myself have not availed myself of their services that benefit me personally. It does how ever, seem that they could do a lot more for students if everyone knew about it Clackamas ready for swine flu Clackamas issues warn ings and prevenative mea sures for their students John Hurlburt | News Editor Grab your blue-masks and hand sanitizer, Oregon hàs gotten its first cases, of swine flu and Clackamas is ready for it. Janet Paulson, public information officer, drafted fliers that were dis tributed throughout campus and sent e-mail to students and staff, that the campus has not been affected and that right now what we are needing to do is take preventative measures in order to ensure the school remains swine flu free. On the flier, it is stated that people should wash their hands fre quently, utilize hand sanitizers in work areas, cover coughs with something other than their hands and stay home if they are experiencing flu-like symp toms. The information mobilization was a result of the World Health Organization raising the alert for swine flu to level 5. “The level 5 designation means infection from the out break that originated in Mexico has been jumping from person- to-person with relative ease,” Paulson’s e-mail stated. The college has had a Pandemic Influenza Plan drafted for a few years now and is currently in stage one of the plan which is just a surveillance mode, meaning there has been no swine flu within the com munity. “We’ve been planning for about a week and currently we are watching the county -and state health depart ments,” Bill Leach, dean of campus services, said. It is possible that the school may eventually shut down due to the pan demic, but there are a variety of fac tors that contribute to that decision. Key indicators the school is look ing for is lowered attendance among students-and-staff, and the decision to shut down will be decided on a depart ment by department basis, according to Leach. “The incident command system will Continue to monitor the situation and continue to update students and staff,” Paulson said. Illustration by Kayla Berge Clackamas Print
