lackamas Print
The Jerk:
Like sheep to the
slaughter
Every once in great while happiness
b its cuddly little head and gives you
jg bear hug and a lollypop; here at The
■ however, I firmly believe that bears
■thug, they maul you and subsequently
Imlikely to give you candy. If you want
■other kind of column go pick up a
■elodcon Magazine.
B had an extra week to talk to some
Ents and staff about their thoughts, and
■y, I’m not impressed. Now while this
Boiidity in my head that infanticide isn’t
Bs a had thing, it also inspired me to
■ess a few things.
■he first item of business is this whole
■paceTaccbtxik crap. I didn’t want to
|e about this in the beginning, but then 1
Bed that it was just enough to piss me off
■use it’s so close to legal prostitution, it
les my skin crawl. First and foremost, I
Be that as modem day college students
■cool” to be on a social networking
11 also realize, however, that anything
■ Pattinson (the dude from “Twilight”)
Bn of must be fundamentally flawed
■me respect. What disturbs me is that
Beb site is a substitute for actual com-
Bcation. The argument for this is that it
■‘social networking” web site, and by
le. is merely a vehicle for communica-
Bhat subsequently acts as a catalyst to
Ber actual interpersonal relationships. I
B believe that none of you know what
■means though, so let’s go with my
Bal argument. People make these sites
Bum them into competitions for how
B friends you can get. Check out this
B device called “Friend Flood” next
■you’re near Google. Basically, people
It to look popular so much so, to the
It where they’ll actually hire a virtual
n to send hookers to their MySpace,
■ant, so society has devalued itself so
lb to the point that now instead of going
■real pimp in Northeast Portland and
|g some cheap skank to get your rocks
Beople are hiring “fake” pimps so they
ook so appealing to each other with
fiance that they might impress a cheap
k, so they can get their rocks off. How
>u people manage to breathe on a reg-
jasis? Honestly, you type up the most
he crap on your little Facebooks with
5 expectation that the rest of the world
tiding your friends) actually cares what
¡ell you're doing at that exact moment
■witter). It’s like John Madden giving
By-by-play of your life, but the differ-
■ between you and The Steelers is that
I actually succeed in their endeavors.
Be second item I want to tackle is
lies. Now, I’m not an overtly political
Guest Column:
A social anarchist look at Associ
ated Student Government
. Vince Burkhart
aycob Izso
lie Clackamas Print'
News Opinion 3
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
guy. I’m not political because you people
“think” you are, and that concerns me. I put
“think” in quotes because I’m fairly certain
you don’t actually do it. There comes a
point when society drops its massive trou
sers and you people are the first to get on
you knees... and pray... of course; pray
to your apparent saviors like Obama. Yes,
mighty Barack and his hypoallergenic dog.
Could be a crime fighting team right? No,
it couldn’t, but you idiots certainly think
so. I can’t watch TV anymore because I
know the world somehow finds value in
what those pedantic para-professionals on
CNN say. I know you watch it because
they keep coming back on, and they’ll keep
coming back as long as you keep watch
ing. But, that’s what you do; you take a
relatively unknown black guy from Hawaii
and turn him into the next Christ Why —
because you’re sheep who need something
to follow (for more information see Hitler’s
Mein Kampf). I actually had to sit here as
nine out of ten Oregonians had an orgasm
every time they showed the beloved (at
the time) president-to-be in his lovely blue
tie. What a shocker that he didn’t meet
your utterly ridiculous expectations. Am I
attacking your political views? No, because
I know you don’t have any, certainly not
any intelligent ones. So please, do me (and
yourselves) a favor and stop voting. I keep
getting assholes telling me it’s great we had
such a voter turn out (“don’t repeat folk
wisdom” see Plato). Guess what? It’s not
In fact, it’s terrible we had such a voter turn
out because you people think that reading
what some guy says his domestic policies
are, that you understand how the system
works. You know that scene from “It’s A
Wonderfill Life” about the angels getting
their wings? Well every time you morons
open your largely ineffective mouths I
grow a tumor (and the surgery is starting
to get expensive). You don’t even know
what the hell a domestic policy is let alone
the thousands there are in circulation, how
they affect the current political stratum, or
that in actuality those policies are primarily
distributed by Congress and state govern
ments.
They say that one man’s trash is another
man’s treasure, and I got to spend a week
collecting the garbage you people spew
from your mouths. I treasure it so much I
decided to even give you, the lovely reader,
a piece of my column. So, beginning this
week here are The Three Stooges.
Question: Are you an idiot?
“To a point, yeah,” Jessica Rogers,
student
“Yeah,” Justin McNeil, student
“Sometimes, yeah,” Allyn Gaspar, stu
dent
Sometimes I hate always being right
BIG CAREERS START AT OIT
Oregon
Institute
of Technology
HEALTH INFORMATICS
a rapidly developing field that combines
computer technologies, information science,
healthcare and business management.
\
Il Contribute?
What is ASG? We can tear this apart
a little and perhaps discover the truth. It
stands for associated student government.
We will start with “associated”. We can
get behind this, as it just means they are
associated with something, in this case
the school. “Student”: once again, not
so difficult. The people involved are stu
dents. It’s when we get to “government”
that I get kind of hung up.
I don’t have the world’s best under
standing of why governments do the
things they do. I’m working on it, but
I’m far from perfect. ASG is no grand
exception to my lack of understanding.
So, I decided to see if anyone would
explain it to me.
I spoke with several members of the
ASG. They seemed a little pensive at
first. Not wanting to give the wrong
impression or seem as if I was mis
representing myself, I had told them I
was writing this for The Print. Once I
further explained that I had not so much
as picked up a copy of said publication
until more than a week ago, they were
more than happy to explain what they do.
I’m certain 1 know why. Relationships
between any kind of government and
independent media always seemed a
little strained to me.
Now from everything I gather this
government is no different from any
other. There are things I like and things
I don’t. First off, no one was able to
explain to me to my satisfaction how
one gets in. They also get tuition waiv
ers. From speaking to several members,
it seems that at least half their tuition is
paid outright. They put in a lot of work
for this (or at least some of them do),
but I think once all is said and done, this
strikes me as a bit odd. I don’t know
who is in charge of updating their min
utes on the web site, but it went almost
two months without update. After I
brought this to their attention it was
mostly rectified, but isn’t that something
that should be done every week? Is their
performance a factor in whether or not
they get this waiver?
I know that is the case with my job
here, me being a work study student and
all. With the college budget requiring
so many cuts, was this one of the things
that got the axe or at least cut back? Not
so much. If they are worried that no one
will help provide the ASG services if
they are not getting some monetary com
pensation, then the school e’ither doesn’t
trust these students enough or is attract
ing people who are in this game for the
wrong reason.
Now I don’t want to give the impres
sion that I hate the ASG, or am hostile or
antagonistic towards them. They do a lot
of things I appreciate. The blood drives,
for example; I go to every one of these
I can. Or collecting cans to help fund
neat things for various departments; it
may not be altruistic, but at least they are
recycling. The grants they provide, even
if the amounts seem meager in some
cases, are better than no help at all. The
clubs provide an outlet for people who
would otherwise have nothing to fill their
time or not be able to meet people of like
interests as easily. And really, is there
anyone who doesn’t like a barbeque?
All together, I appreciate the things
the ASG does for others, even if I myself
have not availed myself of their services
that benefit me personally. It does how
ever, seem that they could do a lot more
for students if everyone knew about it
Clackamas ready for swine flu
Clackamas issues warn
ings and prevenative mea
sures for their students
John Hurlburt
| News Editor
Grab your blue-masks and hand
sanitizer, Oregon hàs gotten its first
cases, of swine flu and Clackamas is
ready for it.
Janet Paulson, public information
officer, drafted fliers that were dis
tributed throughout campus and sent
e-mail to students and staff, that the
campus has not been affected and that
right now what we are needing to do
is take preventative measures in order
to ensure the school remains swine
flu free.
On the flier, it is stated that people
should wash their hands fre
quently, utilize hand sanitizers
in work areas, cover coughs
with something other than their
hands and stay home if they
are experiencing flu-like symp
toms.
The information mobilization
was a result of the World Health
Organization raising the alert
for swine flu to level 5.
“The level 5 designation
means infection from the out
break that originated in Mexico
has been jumping from person-
to-person with relative ease,”
Paulson’s e-mail stated.
The college has had a
Pandemic Influenza Plan drafted for
a few years now and is currently in
stage one of the plan which is just a
surveillance mode, meaning there has
been no swine flu within the com
munity.
“We’ve been planning for about a
week and currently we are watching
the county -and state health depart
ments,” Bill Leach, dean of campus
services, said.
It is possible that the school may
eventually shut down due to the pan
demic, but there are a variety of fac
tors that contribute to that decision.
Key indicators the school is look
ing for is lowered attendance among
students-and-staff, and the decision to
shut down will be decided on a depart
ment by department basis, according
to Leach.
“The incident command system will
Continue to monitor the situation and
continue to update students and staff,”
Paulson said.
Illustration by Kayla Berge Clackamas Print