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ntertainment Clackamas Print Wednesday, March 14, 2007 5 One-acts simply ‘Perfect’ » Why do the Japanese think they can just re-invent gaming franchises over and over with Wilson, and Lysistrata, written by Aristophanes out any regard for how much they piss off the Americans? Sega’s most recent title, “Sonic and the Secret Rings,” for the Nintendo Wii, plays like crap, and considering it’s been roughly 10 years since they’ve made a decent “Sonic” game, I’d say it’s time to give it a rest Sonic file Hedgehog is a spiky, blue beast that runs ridiculously fast and keeps a constant smirk on his face to show he has “attitude,” what ever that means. His primary enemy is a bald, egg-shaped man - called “Dr. Eggman” - who turns fuzzy, little forest creatures into robots, because that’s what evil people do. Sonic frees his woodsy friends by jumping on their heads because, frankly, it worked for Mario. The original “Sonic” game, released on a 16-bit Sega Genesis cartridge in 1991, was loved by fens for its simple, exciting gameplay. In order Ito successfully complete any given level, a player had to be able to shift from carefully controlling Sonic over a patch of spikes or across a set of floating logs to letting him loose to tear across a straight away at absurdly high speeds. It was, basically, a radical give- and-take control scheme that made the game unique and addicting. and directed by Mark Polendey. Students of fee stand up comedy class will also perform. Ulirra Sonic’s new “Secret Rings” several turned Sega’s system, fails to recreate that seamless give-and-take once again, and only further smudges fee name of the once-great gaming icon. The control scheme was an interesting idea, I suppose. I Holding fee Wii-mote control- I ler sideways and tilting left or I right to direct Sonic as he runs I outright seemed like an inter- I esting way to play a full-length I game, blit fee idea got stale I early and didn’t make much of an effort to redeem itself I think fee only saving ■ grace (in fact, fee only rea- I son anyone might spend their I money on it at all) is fee multi- | player mode. Sonic and his I friends are featured in several 'mini-games” as they com- _ pete in different tournaments I just for bragging rights. The I mini-games themselves vary I widely, and if one were lucky I enough to get his or her hands I on a full set of controllers for I their Wii, there might still be I ■some fun to be had, even if it does feel a little like every single other game Nintendo has put out since Christmas. I’m not much for review- I ing video games normally, I but Sonic was my first, and 1 1 felt like something needed I to be said. “Sonic” used to I give fee great “Super Mario I Bros.” a run for their money I (no pun intended), but after 16 I years, a string of good fran- I chise sequels followed by a I longer string of bad ones. I’m ■ starting to wonder if maybe ■the time has come for Sega Ito hang up Sonic’s running ■shoes for good. Today from noon to 1 p.m. Tomorrow from noon to 1 p.m. and 7 to 8 p.m. cum 0SSÈ McLoughlin Theatre Free AU photos by Brandy-Marie Faulhaber Clackamas Print ABOVE: (from left to right) Sarah Karlgaard, Kelly Miller and James Sharinghousen in the one-act performance Lysistrata. RIGHT: Heather Ovalle and Carleigh Anable perform in the politically-charged one-act play Perfect. St. Patrick’s Day: It’s not easy being green Katie Wilson Co-Editor-in-Chief . title, much like the I titles since fee series I three-dimensional on I ¡ill-fated Dreamcast Student-directed one-act plays Perfect, writ ten by Mary Gallagher and directed by Sarah St. Patrick’s Day (March 17) is perhaps the most useless celebration day ever. Celebrate the Irish? Huh? Why should we celebrate them? We don’t celebrate the Polish, or the Dutch, or the Chinese, or the Sioux tribes. Why the Irish? All they did for quite some time was work in factories, breed red-haired children, drink cheap alcohol, lay down the railroad tracks and swear in interesting accents. Also, they’re to blame for all the annoying, floaty, New Age “Celtic” music in the world. We’ve let the Irish guilt-trip us into this one. Now, I like the Irish all right, but I feel like St. Patrick is probably rolling over in his grave and. it makes his soul hurt that we’ve trampled over his religious day. Poor St. Patrick: “I drove the snakes out of Ireland, and this is the thanks I get? Boozy college students and green beer?!?!?!” Anyway, that being said, how could one celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in the Portland area, especially if one can’t, or won’t, drink? I have compiled a list of 10 different activities: 1. Wear green - This one should be obvious. There are people who believe in pinching others on St. Patrick’s Day if said others are not wearing green. Yes, these people should be locked up. Unfortunately, they won’t be. So, wear green. It’s fun. .2. Don’t kiss them because they’re Irish. Bad idea. 3. Kissing a blarney stone is an option, but why anyone would want to kiss something called a “blarney stone” is beyond me. 4. Go to the 36th Annual Jazz Festival here at the college, March 16 and 17 from 8 a.m. to 11 p.m. in the Niemeyer Center. The festival features musicians from middle, junior high and high school, as well as Clackamas’ very own instrumental jazz ensemble. Admission is $5 per person. For more information, call the Music Department at (503)-657-6958, ext. 2434. 5. Go see the Oregon Symphony recreate a ‘60s concert. There will be period instruments, clothes and Beatles music. This show runs from March 17 to 19, and tickets are a ridiculous price: $34.25 to $88.50 - but anything that costs more than $5 is a ridiculous price in my mind. The concert will take place at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. For more information about tickets and times, call (503) 248- 4335. 6. St. Patrick’s Day is also National Quilting Day. Be unique: make a quilt. 7. Study for finals. Boring? I know. Necessary? Only if one is interested in passing one’s classes and being a useful and productive member of society. This could just be my opinion, though. 8. Visit www.irishscene. com, and discover all the cool things they’re doing to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in Western Australia. Who knew? 9. Sing Irish drinking songs. They’re always pretty even though the words are usually slovenly and terrible. 10. And finally, consider not celebrating St. Patrick’s Day at all since, honestly, it is just about the drinking. Have fun. Stay Close.Go Far. We invite you to visit our beautiful campus and take advantage of ali that we have to offer. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ Courses in Over 35 Fields of Study 14 Bachelor's Degrees 9 Master's Degrees 1 Doctorate Degree Learn more by calling 630.546.WSUV or visiting www.vancouver.wsu.edu W ashington S tate U niversity V ancouver 13 Illustration by Kayla Berge Clackamas Print www.vancouver.wsu.edu
