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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 14, 2007)
ommentary Clackamas Print Wednesday, Feb. 14, 2007 3 temember St. Valentine? Iimberly Maier |fe Clackamas Print 1,800 years ago, a Roman leric by the name of St. lentine was executed on >b. 14 because he believed love. During that time, a’ decree is passed stating that sol us were not allowed to ¡rry. (It was thought that married soldiers had less lose without a family, i that they would be more tused for battle.) Valentine (formed marriage rituals I young men who didn’t int to go off to battle with- l first committing them- ves to true love. Before his death, it is said it he wrote a letter to his eetheart. It was signed, [om your Valentine.” The world took inspiration ©St. Valentine’s willing- ss to fight for the freedom love, and Valentine’s Day isted thereafter. Sadly, it ¡ms that inspiration has led away over time. Instead of Valentine’s Day, call it Singles’ Awareness y. Cynics claim that it’s ily a way for greeting card mpanies to make money. Cheap boyfriends swear s only, another holiday signed by women to pres- te them for more atten- jand gifts. Bitter singles |y see it as a day to make © feel lonely and left I. School, age children, are the only ones who seem to If you’re not in a relation recognize the significance of ship, celebrate other forms of this, wrongly resented day. loveyin your life. You don’t But why should we, as have to let this opportunity adults, give a second thought to pay tribute to amour pass to the day when St. Valentine was martyred? It’s not a' bad idea to break the routine and cel ebrate the most encompassing of all human emo tions. Love is worth celebrat ing. Sometimes we get too busy to stop and affirm how powerful love is in our lives. Valentine’s Day forces us to be creative and expressive about our love. One of the big gest excuses I hear from people is that they don’t need to take a special day to waste money on flowers and candy because they love each other every day. Well, let me tell you, romance gets old and loses its impact if it happens every day. Valentine’s Day is a. good excuse to be pas sionate and keep things spicy. you by. Be proactive; give to charity or spend time with someone who needs you. Love feels good - give it a chancel Tuesdays with Molly, ’ or why I became a writer Goodbye, Molly. Molly Ivins, a nationally idicated columnist, died I week of breast cancer, ¡was 62. Originally, this first ■ ’ iding Heart was going to i rant about Shrubs-for- rins and Hugo Chavez, but lecided it would be better write a eulogy of sorts for woman who first inspired to write commentary. Molly * Ivins started her ter as a columnist at the fe Times-Herald. When it paper died, she moved the Fort Worth Star gram. I have always tired her for managing to started there. She was, tr all, a liberal columnist female liberal columnist, less - in Texas. Her col ts were not always popu- ito put it mildly. She never let that bother • She just kept writing. ; “guvment,” the popu- !> the state legislature l>e Lege,” she called it - “the best free entertainment wetting myself. Once I was I always wanted to meet you. in Austin”), Texas itself (she done laughing, though, they If I am able to write with wrote a particularly scathing also made me think. Again, half the intelligence, half the column on Texas debutants), a rare talent. eloquence, or half the wit as Democrats, Republicans So, farewell, Molly Ivins. you, I will be proud indeed. - nobody was safe from her pen. And America loved her for it. Even the people she skewered loved her. Former President Clinton described her as a woman who was “good when she praised me, and who was painfully good when she criticized me.” But the best, part of her columns was that she was never nasty. She never stooped to the level of David Reinhard or Lars Larson. The worst name she ever applied to anybody was “The Masters of Mean,” given to Phil Gramm and Dick Armey. In a world filled with hate and vitriol, Ivins managed to be angry without being ven omous. That’s a rare talent, and I hope I’m able to emulate her. Her columns in The Oregonian were something I always looked forward to. Her books, especial ly Molly Ivins Can’t internet Photo Say That — Can She?, made me laugh until Late columnist Molly Ivins wrote with vitrol, but not venom, and I was in danger of inspired The Print’s own Feature Editor with her winning prose. advice from Dr. Kim, expert know-it-all Dear Dr. Kim, My girlfriend and I have been dating just over two years, and* we just moved in together. I really love her. I think this might be the one for me. The problem is that we fight all the time. She’s always nagging me about every little thing, and it.drives me nuts. She’s not 21 yet, so she is always on my case when I go out with my buddies. I’m a lover, not a fighter! •Aside from that, her jeal ousy is out of control. I want to take the next step with this girl, but I don’t want a wife who has to always bicker and argue about things. How do I tell her that her constant picking at me is get ting in the way of our future? Anthony S. Dear Anthony, I really want to whisper some magic words in your ear that will melt your girl friend’s heart and make her realize what a nice guy you are, and how you can fulfill all her wildest dreams. I’m not going to do that, Anthony. Dr. Kim doesn’t do bullshit. What I will do is bluntly tell you that you are not in the right situation to be thinking about marriage. I know that two years may seem like a long time, and I’m sure that you really do love and care for this woman. The problem is that the two of you are still growing as individuals. She may not be the same woman in another five years; you may not be the same man. It’s hard to live with your partner and “play house” when you are not actually married. To share the roles and respon sibilities of a married couple without having taken those vows and made that commit ment can be very straining on a relationship. Here’s a little secret; women bicker when they desire change - in you. If you can’t meet her expectations as a partner, it’s time to step back and grow a little as indi viduals. If it’s possible, sepa rate your living situation. Get your own apartments. Some space between you might be just the ticket to nipping her nagging in the butt. Over the years she may outgrow the jealousy and crit ical behavior. Then again, she might not. Grow as individuals, and then grow together. ---------- -..... -- ■ --------------
