ommentary
Clackamas Print
Wednesday, Feb. 14, 2007
3
temember St. Valentine?
Iimberly Maier
|fe Clackamas Print
1,800 years ago, a Roman
leric by the name of St.
lentine was executed on
>b. 14 because he believed
love.
During that time, a’ decree
is passed stating that sol
us were not allowed to
¡rry. (It was thought that
married soldiers had less
lose without a family,
i that they would be more
tused for battle.) Valentine
(formed marriage rituals
I young men who didn’t
int to go off to battle with-
l first committing them-
ves to true love.
Before his death, it is said
it he wrote a letter to his
eetheart. It was signed,
[om your Valentine.”
The world took inspiration
©St. Valentine’s willing-
ss to fight for the freedom
love, and Valentine’s Day
isted thereafter. Sadly, it
¡ms that inspiration has
led away over time.
Instead of Valentine’s Day,
call it Singles’ Awareness
y. Cynics claim that it’s
ily a way for greeting card
mpanies to make money.
Cheap boyfriends swear
s only, another holiday
signed by women to pres-
te them for more atten-
jand gifts. Bitter singles
|y see it as a day to make
© feel lonely and left
I. School, age children, are
the only ones who seem to
If you’re not in a relation
recognize the significance of ship, celebrate other forms of
this, wrongly resented day.
loveyin your life. You don’t
But why should we, as have to let this opportunity
adults, give a second thought to pay tribute to amour pass
to the day when
St. Valentine was
martyred?
It’s not a' bad
idea to break the
routine and cel
ebrate the most
encompassing of
all human emo
tions. Love is
worth celebrat
ing. Sometimes
we get too busy
to stop and affirm
how
powerful
love is in our
lives. Valentine’s
Day forces us to
be creative and
expressive about
our love.
One of the big
gest excuses I
hear from people
is that they don’t
need to take a
special day to
waste money on
flowers and candy
because they love
each other every
day. Well, let me
tell you, romance
gets old and loses
its impact if it
happens
every
day. Valentine’s
Day is a. good
excuse to be pas
sionate and keep
things spicy.
you by. Be proactive; give to
charity or spend time with
someone who needs you.
Love feels good - give it a
chancel
Tuesdays with Molly, ’ or why I became a writer
Goodbye, Molly.
Molly Ivins, a nationally
idicated columnist, died
I week of breast cancer,
¡was 62.
Originally,
this first
■ ’ iding Heart was going to
i rant about Shrubs-for-
rins and Hugo Chavez, but
lecided it would be better
write a eulogy of sorts for
woman who first inspired
to write commentary.
Molly * Ivins started her
ter as a columnist at the
fe Times-Herald. When
it paper died, she moved
the Fort Worth Star
gram. I have always
tired her for managing to
started there. She was,
tr all, a liberal columnist
female liberal columnist,
less - in Texas. Her col
ts were not always popu-
ito put it mildly.
She never let that bother
• She just kept writing.
; “guvment,” the popu-
!> the state legislature
l>e Lege,” she called it -
“the best free entertainment wetting myself. Once I was I always wanted to meet you.
in Austin”), Texas itself (she done laughing, though, they If I am able to write with
wrote a particularly scathing also made me think. Again, half the intelligence, half the
column on Texas debutants), a rare talent.
eloquence, or half the wit as
Democrats,
Republicans
So, farewell, Molly Ivins. you, I will be proud indeed.
- nobody was safe
from her pen. And
America loved her
for it.
Even the people
she skewered loved
her. Former President
Clinton described
her as a woman who
was “good when she
praised me, and who
was painfully good
when she criticized
me.”
But the best, part
of her columns was
that she was never
nasty.
She never stooped
to the level of David
Reinhard or Lars
Larson. The worst
name she ever applied
to anybody was “The
Masters of Mean,”
given to Phil Gramm
and Dick Armey. In
a world filled with
hate and vitriol, Ivins
managed to be angry
without being ven
omous. That’s a rare
talent, and I hope
I’m able to emulate
her.
Her columns in
The Oregonian were
something I always
looked forward to.
Her books, especial
ly Molly Ivins Can’t
internet Photo
Say That — Can She?,
made me laugh until Late columnist Molly Ivins wrote with vitrol, but not venom, and
I was in danger of inspired The Print’s own Feature Editor with her winning prose.
advice from Dr. Kim,
expert know-it-all
Dear Dr. Kim,
My girlfriend and I have
been dating just over two
years, and* we just moved in
together. I really love her. I
think this might be the one
for me.
The problem is that we
fight all the time. She’s always
nagging me about every little
thing, and it.drives me nuts.
She’s not 21 yet, so she is
always on my case when I go
out with my buddies. I’m a
lover, not a fighter!
•Aside from that, her jeal
ousy is out of control. I want
to take the next step with this
girl, but I don’t want a wife
who has to always bicker and
argue about things.
How do I tell her that her
constant picking at me is get
ting in the way of our future?
Anthony S.
Dear Anthony,
I really want to whisper
some magic words in your
ear that will melt your girl
friend’s heart and make her
realize what a nice guy you
are, and how you can fulfill
all her wildest dreams.
I’m not going to do that,
Anthony. Dr. Kim doesn’t do
bullshit.
What I will do is bluntly
tell you that you are not in the
right situation to be thinking
about marriage. I know that
two years may seem like a
long time, and I’m sure that
you really do love and care
for this woman.
The problem is that the two
of you are still growing as
individuals. She may not be
the same woman in another
five years; you may not be the
same man.
It’s hard to live with your
partner and “play house” when
you are not actually married.
To share the roles and respon
sibilities of a married couple
without having taken those
vows and made that commit
ment can be very straining on
a relationship.
Here’s a little secret;
women bicker when they
desire change - in you. If you
can’t meet her expectations
as a partner, it’s time to step
back and grow a little as indi
viduals. If it’s possible, sepa
rate your living situation. Get
your own apartments. Some
space between you might be
just the ticket to nipping her
nagging in the butt.
Over the years she may
outgrow the jealousy and crit
ical behavior. Then again, she
might not.
Grow as individuals, and
then grow together.
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