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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 2004)
)()• ^^LACKAMÄ^Pf-lfif December 1, 2004 tberl, 2004 Arts &Entertainn Christmas m lacks holiday Jadon Triplett The Clackamas Print (continued from page 1) Wednesdays andFridays by refus ing to suckle on those days. • When older, Nicholas was an action hero. fri oidei io save three innocent men from getting behead ed, he wrestled the sword away from the executioner and broke through the locked gates of the city while helping the three men escape. It’s like a John Wu Christmas story. Santa also stopped an ancient Hannibal Lecter-like serial killer. A homicidal innkeeper (or butcher) killed three young boys, chopped up their bodies and put the pieces in pickling tubs. Nicholas heard about the murders and raised die boys Jrom die dead, scaring the bejeezus out of the evil innkeep- er/butcher, who ran off screaming. Somehow this Christmas story is missed when the cartoons and claymation films come out every year. He was so bad (in a good way), he even went toe-to-toe with die Greek goddess. Diana. However, there was a darker side to the talented Mr. Claus. jfe did hard time as Yes, "Santa was arrest^F and i thrown in prison t^WB ftomans for practicing Christianity. Thieves were often called “Knights of Saint Nicholas,” because he was their patron saint (along with students, teachers, prostitutes, pirates, and pawn-bro- kers,fo^Bisa;fgi)r ' There fs afeo a bit Of - scandal involving his remains. Originally buried in Myra (on the coast of modern-day Turkey), his body was “rescued” during the crusades in 1087. He was brought to Bari, Italy, where he rests today. The whole sordid affair is outlined in the 13th-century manuscript, “The Translation of Saint Nicholas,” which can be read at www.ford- ham.edu/halsall/basis/nicholas- bari.html. Turkey, however, claims that they still have three bones of Saint Nicholas, which are on display in the Archeological Museum in the town of j^ai^^WBne can see a picture of them on the web at |ygwM^a|^iyavelgeancom/bO: nes.htm. , “It’s very bizarre staring at St,; Nick’s bopes,” says die narrator of the web site. “You expect the Easter Bunny’s femur to be in die next case over.” On more of an “X-Files” note, there is a phenomenon attributed to Nicholas’ remains called “Manna of Saint Nicholas.” Apparently, a pure water or oil seeps from the tomb that smells like myrrh and supposedly cures the sick. This was recorded both at his previous tomb (which made it a site of pil grimage before die move) and his current one. For more information on the life of Saint Nicholas, read volume 2 of “The Golden Legend,” a Medieval text that details the lives of various saints. A translation can be found on the web at www.ford- ham.edu/halsall/basis/goldenle- gend/GL-vol2-nicholas.html. “Christmas with Kranks” fell short of being an entertaining holiday film. To be fair to the filmmak ers, they were working with the lamest idea for a movie since “Glitter.” The plot cen tered on the idea of two peo ple wanting to “run away” from Christmas, and the “hilarity” that ensues when their daughter calls at the last minute, announcing her plans to come home for Christmas. The stars of the film, Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis, were both overacting dramat ically. Overacting can be a good thing when it amounts to comedic effect, or even for a kids’ movie, which this is, but it didn’t really fulfill either of those ends in a satis factory manner. This is unfortunate, because “Christmas with the Kranks” is billed as a family comedy. The film does eventually get watchable, about an hour into the film, when we find out that the Krank’s daughter is coming home. It’s not “pay-eight-bucks” watchable, but it is “illegally-download- the-second-half-of-fhis- movie-if-you-have-nothing- better-to-do” watchable. This is mostly because of decent performances by sup- p ort- i n g actors Dan Akroyd, Cheech Marin, and Per Sullivan plays Dew sion show Middle.” 1 vide somt comic relief wise devo: funny. “Christm Kranks” isi movie choic renting. An] good Christ do better to and mone; Lampoon’s Vacation,” other Chris Santa Claus; ily’s sake, d to see “Q Kranks.” Simpson lights up the holiday season were without. “ReJOYCE” includes eight well known Christmas classics The Clackamas Print such as “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” and “O Holy Night.” Before even attempting to With each song, Jessica’s unmis untangle last year’s multi-colored takably unique voice pierces your catastrophe of Christmas lights and soul and brings forth the Christmas decorating that tree, don’t forget to spirit. pop in those good ol’ Christmas “ReJOYCE” also includes the tunes. somewhat disturbing and peculiar Dare to remove your sacred track, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Mariah Carey Christmas CD (only Santa Claus.” Perhaps this song is for a little while, I promise!) and replace it with America’s sweet familiar and typical to some, but heart, Jessica Simpson’s for me, I find the lyrics somewhat “ReJOYCE: The Christmas strange—but I can’t com Album.” plain about the melody. The Simpson has actually other track I was unfamiliar released two separate with was “Breath Of Heaven Christmas CDs. One is a (Mary’s Song),” which will seven track sample CD sold take some getting used to, considering that Christmas exclusively at 7-11 stores, and the other is the full 11 songs from Mary’s perspec track album which includes tive are almost non-existent. six of the songs on the sample Nevertheless, Jessica’s CD. voice and her updated ver The sample CD includes sion of classics are soulfill great Christmas favorites and traditional. This is just such as “Let It Snow,” “What what you would expect from Christmas Means to Me,” the pop idol. and “The Little Drummer If you need a great stock ing staffer, I would suggest Boy,” which is a duet with Jessica’s younger sister, the limited edition, $7 sam Ashlee Simpson. ple Christmas CD. If you’re But we must ask our looking for a gift, of course, selves: Are seven songs real the full $14 album would be ly going to fulfill our craving a better choice. Then again, for festive music^ Of course why not give both? not, which is why sly Mrs. “ReJOYCE” delivers a Lachey came out with two sweet and cozy Christmas albums. feeling that makes you want Internet Photo to put on that knitted Her album “ReJOYCE” SIMPSON was named after her late grand really a surprise that Nick Lachey Christmas sweater grandma made mother, Joyce Adams Simpson, was featured on a Jessica Simpson you and sip hot chocolate by the better known as “Nanny.” On the album. His status seems to have fire with your family. back of Jessica’s album there is a transformed from boy-band heart- Christmas wouldn’t be com picture of her with her grandmoth throb to sexy superstar Jessica’s plete without Christmas carols, er and below it a note of dedication sidekick. and we only get one part of the from Simpson to her “Nanny.” While Nick and Ashlee have year to enjoy these blissfill songs, On the sample CD the established themselves in the unless you believe in the hard-to-get acoustic version of her music industry, I don’t think that Christmas-in-June theory. So hurry last single, “Angels,” is the one their performance on her album is and pop in that “ReJOYCE” CD, track that the album lacks. going to make people want to go pull the cookies out of the oven, However, the sampler CD shall not out and buy it any more than if it and enjoy while you can! Amanda Polopolus overcome the almighty album, as “ReJOYCE” has 5 additional tracks that the limited-edition 7-11 CD lacks. “ReJOYCE” includes a duet of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” with hus band Nick Lachey of the almost- forgotten boy band, 98 Degrees. After the highly publicized duet “Where You Are” that the couple released before their marriage and their overly popular reality show “Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica,” I think that a duet on this CD was sort of monotonous, and it’s not DEGREES TO MAKE A • BA ANTHROPOLOGY ■ BA COMMUNICATION STUDIES ■ BA CULTURAL AND HISTORICAL STUDIES ■ BA HUMAN STUDIES ■ BA INTERDISCIPLINARY STUDIES ■ BA MUSIC THERAPY ■ BA PSYCHOLOGY ■ BA RELIGIOUS STUDIES ■ ^A SOCIOLOGY PROFESSIONAL CERTIFICATES ■ CONFLICT RESOLUTION AND MEDIATION ■ GERONTOLOGY ■ PUBLIC RELATIONS ■ TRAINING AND DEVELOPMENT YEAR-ROUND ADMISSION To work with an advisor, e-maìl stùdentinfoên*1 or call 503.699.6268. ★ üS News & World Report BEST jCOLLij "Number one in the Northwest for MARYLHURST UNIVI Northwest Commission on Colleges and UniversiW1 17600 PACIFIC HIGHWAY (HWY. 43) MARYLHURST, OREGON - JUST 10 MINUTES SOU®
