Image provided by: Clackamas Community College; Oregon City, OR
About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 13, 2002)
Time to eliminate grocery cart road rage Volunteer's passion Marvin Baker columnist I Shopping would be a lot simpler if companies would make an effort to gear their merchandising toward the way people really live, instead of inflicting some marketing whiz’s vision for consumer submission upon us. Diabolically lain floor plans draw us further and further from reality into a world of green ketchup, blue crinkle-cut fries and pasteurized, processed cheese-food stuffed hotdogs, hiding what we’re really looking for behind the frozen wfaffle treats. I know, they’ve con vinced you to pass it off on your kids as fun food, but remember, it wasn’t so long ago that fun food was something that didn’t try to eat you first. I’m thinking fun food is a grown-up concept that children shouldn’t be embracing until they’re older (see “9 Vi Weeks” for ■arification). I Can you imagine what that movie would’ve been like if Mickey Rourke had grown up believing green ketchup was cool? I’m thinking two-and-a-half hours of Kim Basinger being tormented by a guy in a Storm Trooper outfit from the Sharper Image, building t J the final climatic scene where she rips the packaging from his-Boba Fett action figures and storms out of his mother’s basement. Fortunately, back then they didn’t have green ketchup, and we were treated to a rather steamy culinary display as well as a warning as to how important it is to turn the tide against the spin-doctors of the retail establishment. For myself, I tend to relate all trips to the store into the dreaded polyester-queen dodging exercise in anger management called gro cery shopping; it may be a simplis tic view, but things are much easier for me this way. First, on my hit list would be a firmer set of protocols to deal with those who seem to think express is a relative term. You know who you are. Busy with your checkbook, refusing to make eye contact with the rest of us as if we’re not going to notice you’re trying to smuggle an entire Thanksgiving dinner through the ten-items-or-less lane. Personally, I don’t understand why we just stand there and mutter to ourselves, as if you’re going to shame yourself into slinking away to a regular line, but we all do. I’m just as guilty as the next person, so, here are a couple of thoughts to make enforcement of the express lane more ideal: A) there shouldn’t be a single pen, pencil or crayon allowed within 50 feet of the checkout, B) staff these registers with road rage diversion pro- gramees who can’t count past ten, and C) double coupons for every item you have the stones to remove from an offender’s cart. Finally, we need marketers to use a more rational placement of products that compliment one another to expedite our trip through the store. I’m not talking about simply moving the ketchup to a dis play next to the potatoes. I’m thinking total, real world placement that makes sense, i.e., stocking air freshener next to anything made by Nalley’s, or putting the breath mints with the birth control and calling that the condiment aisle. And a singles catwalk in frozen foods to bypass the parents negoti ating with their kids over what the babysitter is truly capable of heat ing in the microwave. As long as we’re engaged in flights of fancy, I’d also like to see immunity from prosecution for beating the hell out of whoever is caught refilling the candy displays in the checkstands. A brief note in closing -1 under stand there are different types of shopping, just like there are differ ent types of stores. Costco lurking or prayer rug ceremonies at Fry’s or Best Buy have a completely differ ent vibe and consequently require entire articles of their own. Conversely, a trip to the mall for some power shopping can’t be done justice without input from a true expert, and, to date, the closest I’ve been able to come to anything resembling the female perspective has been gleaned from staring up at the ceiling, which I’m certain is just a small piece of the pie. helps Orchard Society Feature Editor “It’s a bit demanding, when it’s snowing and raining like mad,” Jim Cox said, “but in the spring when the orchard is coming to life, it’s a real pleasure to see.” For three years now, Cox has vol unteered most Tuesdays in the Home Orchard Society Arboretum, prun ing and maintaining the trees, vines and bushes. It’s a big job, and it’s short on recognition. “Students don’t usually know we’re here,” Cox said. And he’s okay with that. Except for a few pruning seminars taught Winter term by the Horticulture department, the college has little to do with the arboretum. Actually, the Home Orchard Society (HOS) rents the space from the college for.its own use. The HOS also has chapters in Vancouver and Eugene, but neither location has space for trees. “Eugene is expanding,” Cox said. “Places to grow things are dis appearing fast.” Oregon’s HOS members have to visit our campus to learn pruning techniques hands-on, Cox’s favored method of arboriculture study. “You don’t necessarily need to go to college to leam (how to grow fruit from trees),” Cox - said. “Unfortunately, the books are very -E njoy the ELISABETH MEYER Clackamas Print Jim Cox, works even when its raining. often written by people who don’t do this kind of work.” “Of course, I didn’t go to college; maybe that’s my defense,” he adds. “But in the olden days, you learned this by being an apprentice to a nurs ery.” Cox estimates that the arboretum could keep an individual busy for an hour a day, year in, year out. He comes in just once a week to keep things orderly. The arboretum is home to mul berries, kiwis, berry bushes, persim mons, and many varieties of apples and grapes. When the arboretum is open, (read: when Cox is there), he sells fruit grown there to whomever happens by and the small group of people who seek out the produce. Although there’s no fame associ ated with the long hours, Cox feels, “It’s better than anything on TV, anyway.” B enefits - • Waived Membership fees! • Interest earned on Savings! • Visa rates as low as 8.5%! • No Monthly fees! • Student Loans - Free ATMs! • Discounts on fitness clubs and Costco memberships and more... W e WILL SAVE YOU TIME AND MONEY I t ' s THAT SIMPLE. Stop in, open an account, and be entered to win a Palm Pilot or Mountain Bike!!! (Entry deadline is December 1,2002. Must be 18 years or older to enter. One entry per member only. All entries must be handwritten. Need not be present to win. Winner to be selected in a random drawing on Dec. 15,2002 Membership not required.)
