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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (April 24, 2002)
7 TI h E ClACkAMAS WedNEsdAy, ApRil 24, 2002 P rìnt Rock hard muscles and a fluffy plot _________ISAIAH CREEL________ Staff'Writer I was fortunate enough to witness an advanced screening Tuesday, April 15, of ‘The Scorpion King,” Univer sal Pictures’ newest endeavor into the world of barbarian swine, which made its debut in theaters nationwide on Friday, April 19 (tee hee, I saw it long before you suckers, and I didn’t have to pay.) and his beautiful sorcerer (I say this only because that is what she was called in the film), Cassandra. Tribes pay assassins. Assassins kill sorcerer. BUTSHE’SAWOMAN!! Mathayus like woman, bring her along. (insert romantic sub-plot here) Memnon angry, scour the country side. Mathayus kill Memnon, become new (Scorpion) king. Vibes Mathayus’ character was written to be both brainy and brawny (he is crafty in deadly arts and wit.. .mwa ha ha!). Whoever The Rock’s alter ego is should consider doing other movies, perhaps not focusing on his wrestling career, although the eyebrow thing was surprisingly well-placed (yes, even I have enough street savvy to pick up on the wrestling world). He played the New Millennium version of theclassic Herculean brute very well. Kill me. Kill me. It was a good action film. Cheesy enough to be entertain ing, and the characters were right on. It appeared the stereotypes of all eter nity were cast in this story though, from every last one of the women ap- piearing as scantily clad tools, to that The scope of the screen wacky Jewish thief. Meter Beater As an action film, I would give it a 7 out of 10 on the ass-kiok-o-meter. As The Rock’s first starring role, I would give it a 2 out of 10 on the first- impression-last-chance-o-meter. "He is crafty in deadly arts and wit...mwa ha ha!" Referrals The hero of the tale is one Mathayus (Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock of WWF fame). He is one of three Akkadians, an assassin tribe from before the rise of the Roman Empire, left in the world. Apparently the Akkadians are the toughest hombres this side of the river Nile (that’s why there are only three left in the world.. .duh). When the local tribes git in a feud with the maniacal warlord Memnon, If you liked this film, check out the “Conan” series, starring legendary action star Arnold Schwarzenegger. The main difference I can see between the two is the classic line “I’ 11 be back.’ ’ The Rock’s got the eyebrow thing, but his jokes don’t come off as well as Arnie’s. Like Arnie though, I think The Rock should consider doing some other types of “Kindergarten Cop”- ish roles. INTERNET PHOTO The Rock is trying to break into acting in 'The Scorpion King' despite his successful wrestling career. The Rock plays Mathayus in the prequel to 'The Mummy.' To reach Isaiah Creel e-mail zeplemen@hotmail.com or drop by B-104. ----- ■¿“.'¿ m H 'THE SCORPION KING H CURRENTLY PLAYING\ AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATION* Aquarius (Jan. 20- Feb. 18): You definitely need more sleep. It’s time to get serious. You have been having too much fun lately. Your boss might be very annoying to you this week. Try to keep the peace. Your lucky day: Satur day. Your lucky food: Onions. Your lucky place: bedroom. place: gym. pool. Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): Enhance your knowledge by reading an interesting book. You will find yourself inspired and refreshed. You should Stop depending on other people. You need to be more in dependent. You might find yourself receiving a lot of bills, but that’s life. It’s not always as pleasant as you would like it to be. Your lucky day: Tues day. Your lucky food: spinach. Your lucky place: bathtub. spend more time outside. Fresh air is good for you. Your lucky day: Sunday. Your lucky food: pasta. Your lucky place: bakery. Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20): You should try to be more consistent in your life. Some one is trying to disturb your pattern. Avoid crowded places this week. Your lucky day: Monday. Your lucky food: Ger man chocolate cake. Your lucky place: any restaurant. Aries (March 21 - April 19): Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): Not everything is always black or white. Try to get a dif ferent perspective on things. Listen to your dreams this week. Your inner voice is try ing to tell you something very important. Your lucky day: Tuesday. Your lucky food: Cot tage cheese. Your lucky place: sauna. You are being very generous this week. Do not forget about yourself though. Sometimes it’s a good thing to be selfish. Keep that in mind as you get involved with people. Your lucky day: Wednesday. Your lucky food: cheese. Your lucky place: classroom. re information call 225-5555 plus the extension ■ bove unless otherwise noted with * Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Jealousy can be a terrible thing. Try to control you emo tions this week or someone might get hurt. Your family needs more attention. Your lucky day: Monday. Your lucky food: candy. Your lucky place: candy store. Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): You have had a lot of bad luck lately. But don’t worry. Good things happen to good people. Try to be more patient. Your lucky day: Wednesday. Your lucky food: Yogurt. Your lucky place: movie theater. Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): That was a clever move. You know what I’m talking about. However, you need to be cau tious. Someone is trying to abuse your friendliness. Re member, not everything always tastes the way it looks. Your lucky day: Today. Your lucky food: spaghetti. Your lucky Division St.: ext. 4606 Lloyd Cinemas: ext. 4600 *St. Johns: 286-1768 Sherwood 10: ext 4621 Tigard: ext. 4627 City Center 12: ext. 4631 Wilsonville: ext. 4615 Cancer (June 21 - July 22): It’s a good time to make changes to your home. You will find yourself enjoying decorat ing the walls. Someone wants to take you out but is too shy to say something. Your lucky day: Thursday. Your lucky food: shrimp. Your lucky place: grocery store. Taurus (April 20- May 20): Street: ext. 4624 ergreen: ext. 4625 Grove: 653-9999 ext. 4603 16:775-0000 82nd Avenue: ext. Broadway: ext. 46< Be ready to get involved in a dramatic situation. You will get a chance to prove your people skills. Keep in mind that some times, you need to treat your employees like little children. Keep them happy and they will work for you. Your lucky day: Friday. Your lucky food: grits. Your lucky place: swimming Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Someone is trying to upset you. The best thing to do is just to ignore that individual. Try to spend more time with your friends. Someone is very inter ested in you! Your lucky day: Thursday. Your lucky food: po tato soup. Your lucky place: school. EARN YOUR DEGREE ONLINE FROM MARYLHURST UNIVERSITY BS in Management BA in Organizational Communication « MBA Online courses available through other programs FLEXIBLE TIME AND PLACE: Courses available 24 hours a day online. Classes also scheduled weekends and evenings. LEARNING COMMUNITY: High level of interaction with your instructors and classmates. SCHOLARSHIPS, GRANTS, LOANS AVAILABLE. EARN UP TO 45 UNDERGRADUATE CREDITS: For what you've learned from on-the-job training, volunteer work and personal study through our Prior Learning Assessment. US News & World Report 2002: lists Marylhurst University in its Best Universities Category, #1 in classes under 20 students and #1 in studenf/faculty ratio in the 15-state Western Region. Course scheduling options are designed for working adults. To meet with an advisor, e-mail studentinfo@marylhurst.edu or call 503.699.6268 or 800.634.9982 x 6268. MARYLHURST UNIVERSITY Accredited by the Northwest Association of Schools and Colleges 17600 PACIFIC HIGHWAY (HWY. 43) MARYLHURST, OREGON - JUST 10 MINUTES SOUTH OF PORTLAND Serving students since 1893. www.marylhurst.edu
