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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 13, 2002)
Feature TkE ClACkAMAS P rìnt My daughter is not your next conquest Be honest, ladies, how many times have you gone from “Not a chance in hell,” to “Have you seen my other shoe?” with some less- Mai^Baker Guest Columnist than-desirable guy from work? Ev ery guy has a no-way girl and ev ery guy has seen other guys get a no-way girl. Rest assured it’s not your fault, girls, it only seems like a sign of the times. There’s a grander cosmic plan working for the greater good here: A) The occasional Julia Roberts/ Lyle Lovett coupling gives the rest of us dateless wonders a reason to get out of bed Saturday mornings, and B) It reminds fathers that even the sharpest of women can have an off day. An important consideration- and major source of stress - if you’re raising a daughter. Notice the two sides to this coin. As men we love to see a guy con vert a "no-way girl" into an "all- the-way-girl" but, as fathers we don't want to see our little girl star ing all misty-eyed at some freak with a guitar. Men treasure their daughters. And men treasure ev erybody else’s daughters. Think Mena Suvari in "American Beauty." Of course it was all fun and games until she turned around in real life and married a cameraman twenty years her senior. Karma had come full circle in the national spotlight. Men are doomed to see their daughters fall for the same cheap moves they used on their mothers. Trust me, dads, you’ve got to develop a multi-tiered approach to cock blocking in the formative years or you may find your self cleaning your shotgun in front of some stereo bumpin’, chopped Honda-dwelling, baggy-pants punk who’s more heavily armed than you are. You know the guy I’m talking about. He can’t tell time well enough to get your daughter home by eleven, but give him a flask, two limes and plant food and he can make Vicodin in your garage. At that point your best bet is to flash some parole papers and demand a hefty enough cut to insult his business sense. Hopefully he’ll be offended and pack up his tents on his own. Despite this bleak outlook, all is not lost. I have a five- year-old daughter. She’s beautiful and sweet and dainty and precious and she’s never, ever going to date. I’ve got it all worked out. I tell her that real boys look just like her Ken doll. Now she wants a little boyfriend to play dress up with.’ I figure this is a good thing; any boy who enjoys walk ing around in my ex’s high heels is probably going to be a safe bet come puberty. I’ve taken the additional precau tion of referring to the WWF as “playing doctor.” My daughter has a mean elbow and thinks the figure-four leg lock is how you take somebody’s temperature. It’s not a perfect plan; I did get an angry phone call from the school and some other kid’s parents after a game of tag went south, but even the teacher had to admit she had great form coming off the mon key bars. He’ll recover. Prob ably think twice before slug ging another girl in the arm too. My only concern is she’ll eventually meet some guy who thinks “Crouching Tiger” makes for great foreplay and they'll have kids who fly around the backyard. Get your Foodhandler Card ON-LINE www .foodhandler .org Contact Chemeketa Community College’s Hospitality Systems Mana gement Program Start anytime. Tuition: . $15 503-399-5146 CHEMEKETA COMMUNITY COLLEGE www.chemeketa.edu CJiemeketa Community Collage is an equal opportunity , affimwttv» action Institution. WEdNEsdAy,FEbR^^Ry 15, 2002 Help is here for depression ________ ERINNLERTEN________ Staff Writer More than 54 million Americans have a mental disorder in any given year, although fewer than 8 million seek treatment Depression and anxi ety disorders — the two most com mon mental illnesses -— each affect 19 million American adults annually. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds, and the number of attempted suicides is even higher (all figures according to the National Mental Health Association). There are many forms of depression and options for treatment. Most forms of depression can be helped with treatment but many de- pressed people never get the help they need. When depres sion isn’t prop erly treated it can get worse and last longer. Various forms of depression have different symptoms: Major depression: Lasts weeks to several months. People with major depression may have trouble living day-to-day because they feel help less, worthless or deeply fatigued. Their sleep and eating patterns may change and they may feel suicidal. Dysthymia: Milder than major de pression but longer lasting, dysthymia can linger for years. People with dysthymia often have little zest for life, suffer from low self- esteem, and tend to criticize them selves, often harshly. They may be fatigued all the time and have trouble sleeping. B ipolar disorder (also called manic depression): Characterized by wide mood swings. In the manic phase, people are elated: Their thoughts race, they may be very creative, and they sometimes have distorted judg ment. During the lows they feel gloom, fatigue, and despair, and have trouble focusing and making decisions. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD): Depression that comes on in fall or winter and then fades in the spring or summer. Experts think lack of natural light triggers SAD. Spe cial fluo- rescent lights ease the symp toms. Studies show that 80 percent of people with SAD improve with therapy that in vol v e s staying in this bright light for a certain amount of time every INTERNET PHOTO day. Maggie Pedersen, CCC project coordinator and licensed profes sional counselor, says that in stu dents “signs of depression often in clude sadness, hopeless, feeling like they have no future, sleeping more then normal and sudden weight changes.” She added, “It is often that they just don’t want to get out of bed and face their lives.” For students who feel that they may be depressed, the counseling center is a valuable resource. Coun selors will do an interview and evalu ate the student’s situation. “When they come to see a counselor the counselor will examine whether the problem has been long term, as well as their history. Depression can be inherited through their parents,” said Pedersen. Consultation is com pletely anonymous. After an inter view with a counselor, students may be referred to Clackamas County Mental Health Center. The center also has a 24-hour emergency ser vice that can be reached at (503) 655- 8401. One CCC student who has suf fered from depression and is now on medication and in counseling says that students should not be embarrassed or feel that there is a stigma attached to depression. “More people than you would think suffer from depression,” this person said. “There are many treatments available, whether it is counseling or medication or both. Life can be a lot better, people need to recognize the problem and know there is a so lution.” Pedersen says that depression can strike all kinds of people; it does not matter “if you have life all planned out and suddenly things fall apart or don’t go the right way, or if you don’t have a plan and feel lost.” Treatments for depression usually consist of antidepressant drugs and counseling, although there are alter natives for less severe depression. St John’s wort, sometimes known as the “sunshine supplement,” has been proven effective in treating mild to moderate cases of depression. More than one million Americans have tried this mood-lifting drug. European stud ies have found that it works as well as prescription antidepressants, easing moderate depression in two-thirds of the people who tried it Other alternative therapies seem to help improve mood too. Acu puncture has gotten good marks in two studies of people with mild or moderate depression. And there’s encouraging evidence about exer cise, which often lifts the spirits of folks who are feeling down. Experts suggest working out for 30 minutes two to five times a week. For help contact a counselor at (503) 657-6958 ext 2213, or visit one in the community center.
