Feature
TkE ClACkAMAS P rìnt
My daughter is not
your next conquest
Be honest, ladies, how many
times have you gone from “Not a
chance in hell,” to “Have you seen
my other shoe?” with some less-
Mai^Baker
Guest Columnist
than-desirable guy from work? Ev
ery guy has a no-way girl and ev
ery guy has seen other guys get a
no-way girl. Rest assured it’s not
your fault, girls, it only seems like a
sign of the times. There’s a grander
cosmic plan working for the greater
good here:
A) The occasional Julia Roberts/
Lyle Lovett coupling gives the rest
of us dateless wonders a reason to
get out of bed Saturday mornings,
and
B) It reminds fathers that even the
sharpest of women can have an off
day. An important consideration-
and major source of stress - if
you’re raising a daughter.
Notice the two sides to this coin.
As men we love to see a guy con
vert a "no-way girl" into an "all-
the-way-girl" but, as fathers we
don't want to see our little girl star
ing all misty-eyed at some freak
with a guitar. Men treasure their
daughters. And men treasure ev
erybody else’s daughters. Think
Mena Suvari in "American Beauty."
Of course it was all fun and games
until she turned around in real life
and married a cameraman twenty
years her senior. Karma had
come full circle in the national
spotlight. Men are doomed to
see their daughters fall for the
same cheap moves they used
on their mothers. Trust me,
dads, you’ve got to develop a
multi-tiered approach to cock
blocking in the formative
years or you may find your
self cleaning your shotgun in
front of some stereo bumpin’,
chopped Honda-dwelling,
baggy-pants punk who’s more
heavily armed than you are.
You know the guy I’m talking
about. He can’t tell time well
enough to get your daughter
home by
eleven,
but give
him
a
flask, two
limes and
plant food
and
he
can make
Vicodin in
your garage. At that point
your best bet is to flash some
parole papers and demand a
hefty enough cut to insult his
business sense. Hopefully
he’ll be offended and pack up
his tents on his own.
Despite this bleak outlook,
all is not lost. I have a five-
year-old daughter. She’s
beautiful and sweet and
dainty and precious and she’s
never, ever going to date. I’ve
got it all worked out. I tell her
that real boys look just like her
Ken doll. Now she wants a
little boyfriend to play dress
up with.’ I figure this is a good
thing; any boy who enjoys walk
ing around in my ex’s high
heels is probably going to be
a safe bet come puberty. I’ve
taken the additional precau
tion of referring to the WWF
as “playing doctor.” My
daughter has a mean elbow
and thinks the figure-four leg
lock is how you take
somebody’s temperature. It’s
not a perfect plan; I did get an
angry phone call from the
school and some other kid’s
parents after a game of tag
went south, but even the
teacher had to admit she had
great form coming off the mon
key bars. He’ll recover. Prob
ably think twice before slug
ging another girl in the arm too.
My only concern is she’ll
eventually meet some guy who
thinks “Crouching Tiger”
makes for great foreplay and
they'll have kids who fly
around the backyard.
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WEdNEsdAy,FEbR^^Ry 15, 2002
Help is here for depression
________ ERINNLERTEN________
Staff Writer
More than 54 million Americans
have a mental disorder in any given
year, although fewer than 8 million
seek treatment Depression and anxi
ety disorders — the two most com
mon mental illnesses -— each affect
19 million American adults annually.
Suicide is the third leading cause of
death for 15- to 24-year-olds, and
the number of attempted suicides is
even higher (all figures according
to the National
Mental Health
Association).
There are
many forms of
depression
and options
for treatment.
Most forms of
depression
can be helped
with treatment
but many de-
pressed
people never
get the help
they need.
When depres
sion isn’t prop
erly treated it
can get worse
and
last
longer.
Various forms of depression have
different symptoms:
Major depression: Lasts weeks to
several months. People with major
depression may have trouble living
day-to-day because they feel help
less, worthless or deeply fatigued.
Their sleep and eating patterns may
change and they may feel suicidal.
Dysthymia: Milder than major de
pression but longer lasting,
dysthymia can linger for years.
People with dysthymia often have
little zest for life, suffer from low self-
esteem, and tend to criticize them
selves, often harshly. They may be
fatigued all the time and have trouble
sleeping.
B ipolar disorder (also called manic
depression): Characterized by wide
mood swings. In the manic phase,
people are elated: Their thoughts
race, they may be very creative, and
they sometimes have distorted judg
ment. During the lows they feel
gloom, fatigue, and despair, and
have trouble focusing and making
decisions.
Seasonal affective disorder
(SAD): Depression that comes on
in fall or winter and then fades in the
spring or summer. Experts think lack
of natural light triggers SAD. Spe
cial fluo-
rescent
lights
ease the
symp
toms.
Studies
show that
80 percent
of people
with SAD
improve
with
therapy
that in
vol v e s
staying in
this bright
light for a
certain
amount of
time every
INTERNET PHOTO
day.
Maggie Pedersen, CCC project
coordinator and licensed profes
sional counselor, says that in stu
dents “signs of depression often in
clude sadness, hopeless, feeling like
they have no future, sleeping more
then normal and sudden weight
changes.” She added, “It is often
that they just don’t want to get out
of bed and face their lives.”
For students who feel that they
may be depressed, the counseling
center is a valuable resource. Coun
selors will do an interview and evalu
ate the student’s situation. “When
they come to see a counselor the
counselor will examine whether the
problem has been long term, as well
as their history. Depression can be
inherited through their parents,”
said Pedersen. Consultation is com
pletely anonymous. After an inter
view with a counselor, students may
be referred to Clackamas County
Mental Health Center. The center
also has a 24-hour emergency ser
vice that can be reached at (503) 655-
8401.
One CCC student who has suf
fered from depression and is now
on medication and in counseling
says that students should not be
embarrassed or feel that there is a
stigma attached to depression.
“More people than you would think
suffer from depression,” this person
said. “There are many treatments
available, whether it is counseling
or medication or both. Life can be a
lot better, people need to recognize
the problem and know there is a so
lution.”
Pedersen says that depression can
strike all kinds of people; it does not
matter “if you have life all planned
out and suddenly things fall apart
or don’t go the right way, or if you
don’t have a plan and feel lost.”
Treatments for depression usually
consist of antidepressant drugs and
counseling, although there are alter
natives for less severe depression. St
John’s wort, sometimes known as the
“sunshine supplement,” has been
proven effective in treating mild to
moderate cases of depression. More
than one million Americans have tried
this mood-lifting drug. European stud
ies have found that it works as well as
prescription antidepressants, easing
moderate depression in two-thirds of
the people who tried it
Other alternative therapies seem
to help improve mood too. Acu
puncture has gotten good marks in
two studies of people with mild or
moderate depression. And there’s
encouraging evidence about exer
cise, which often lifts the spirits of
folks who are feeling down. Experts
suggest working out for 30 minutes
two to five times a week.
For help contact a counselor at
(503) 657-6958 ext 2213, or visit one
in the community center.