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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 24, 2001)
_______________ L WedNEsdAy, OçTobER 24, 2001 The CL ac I< amas P rint The countdown resumes as the dead awake ISAIAH CREEL staff writer Arise from your dark slumber, zombie lovers, it’s time for Isaiah’s zombie picks number two. (Now with more gore!) This week’s selections are sure to fulfill your appetites for carnage and chaos while leaving that zombie- fresh feeling in your mouth. At the number three spot is a little known Spanish movie called “City of the Walking Dead.” It all starts in the newsroom with Jack the news guy get ting assigned an interview with a world-renowned nuclear scientist due to arrive at the local airport at any moment. When Jack arrives at the airport, there is commo tion all around when an uni dentified airplane lands near the main terminal. Jack, along with his trusty cameraman, stands by while the army is called in to investigate. Shortly after the local police department and some National Guard members show up, the hatch opens. Out pops that fa mous scientist with a few friends and a little surprise. They’re all zombies! Mayhem ensues and eventually the whole metropolitan area is turned into zombies! Mass hysteria! Upside- smart zombies use clubs to smash their victims before devouring them. Downside- dubbing from Spanish to English makes the dialogue too ridiculous to follow the story. Number two is another in stallment of the Evil Dead trilogy, “Army of Darkness.” Ash is thrown into medieval Europe to fight legions of the undead after being sucked into a vortex of terror in the second “Evil Dead.” Yes, his hand is still a chain saw. This timeless masterpiece of the macabre is “overflowing with spectacular special effects” which Poets’comer •••••••••••••••a Bonita M. Richardson There is danger in shattering happiness........ India Proverb Queen of the night incense drifts Over and through the art of intent Silk slides to the floor Tell us good dreams, good tastes Bring plums and joy on a brass platter Searching for proofs fortunes and omens We are tired of war drums and strangles Give us seeded cake and sweet bread Touch our hands with blessings and love add equal portions of terror and humor. Shop smart, shop S-Mart! Upside- lots and lots of zom bies, plus medieval sword fight ing. Downside- most of the zombies resemble skeletons. (Don’t let them fool you, they’re really zombies.) Stay tuned, kiddies, for the number one zombie movie of all I time! Paint our windows with calm evening light Still the angry voices outside the gate Let the scent of peaches follow us to sleep Halloween tricks to keep your pumpkin from harm DANIEL MERYS staff writer Aries (March 21- April 19): You are standing on the threshold of stupidity. Try not to make the same mistake again. One of the most im portant things you can do right now is make a plan of action and stick with it untilyou finish what you have set out to do, no matter how difficult it may become. Sug gested movie for you to watch this week: “Jaws.” Taurus (April 20- May 20): For the first part of the week you will no doubt experience some finan cial strain. Try using your last few dollars to win some quick cash via scratch-its. You may win big, but be careful not to purchase any with cartoon witches on them. Sug gested movie for you to watch this week: “Aladdin.” Gemini (May 21- June 20): Whoa, buddy! You had better take a few steps back from your current situ ation to do some personal reflec tion. It seems that if you follow through on your current plan, it may blow up in your face. Sug gested movie for you to watch this week: “Planet of the Apes.” (Heston, not Marky Mark.) Cancer (June 21- July 22): For get about your problems! This week is playtime for the crab (al though you should do your best not to contract actual crabs while enjoying this “playtime”) so in stead of going to a party, throw one. You are the star everyone is dying to get close to...so chew lots of gum. Suggested movie for you to watch this week: “Pretty Woman.” Leo (July 23-August 22): A simple quick fix won’t work for you this time. It is time for you to insist on quality, not quantity. Splurge on ex tra virgin olive oil and products that boast “new and improved” on the label. Suggested movie for you to watch this week: “My Fair Lady.” Virgo (August 23- September 22): Your level of popularity is growing fast, and you are finding much suc cess in nearly everything you do. Expect a reward or prize of some sort for your positive actions, maybe something like a shiny sticker. Sug gested movie for you to watch this week: “Bandits.” Libra (September 23- October 22): You can’t expect things to always go your way. Right now it is better to go along with the majority. If you try to be a rebel, you will only make a fool of yourself. Show a disad van- taged person the kindness you would expect if you were in his or her position. Suggested movie for you to watch this week: “Eraserhead.” Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Your competitors don ’t stand a chance against you this week! You are red-hot and everyone wants to be your lover (or at least borrow money from you). Suggested movie for you to watch this week: “The Graduate.” Sagittarius (November 22-Decem- ber 21): You may find yourself need ing to apologize for something you did unintentionally. There are people watching and listening, so make it sincere, the result of this apology may be significant. Suggested movie for you to watch this week: “Trainspotting.” The week before Halloween and the week after Hallow een are very dangerous times for a pumpkin. Vandals spend every night hunting for the largest and most intricately carved pumpkin, with the intent to raise it high above their heads and bring it crashing to the ground, ruining hours of Capricorn (December 22-January 19): You are now able to see the road through the fog. Your path is clear and it is now time for you to follow it. Do not pass up the chance for enlightenment, as it will be presented to you many times this week. Sug gested movie for you to watch this week: “Heathers.” Aquarius (January 20-February 18): If you are going to tag along with anyone this week, make sure you aren’t dead weight If you don’t see yourself helping out with the situation, get the hell out of it so someone competent can take your place. If you are doing a fine job, keep it up, your work is greatly ap preciated. Suggested movie for you to watch this week: “Natural Bom Killers.”. r ' A Pisces (February 19-March 20): You are a naturally giving person. Be careful, this could leave you wide open for people to take advantage of you. The people who truly appre ciate your kindness and generosity will let you know. These are the people you can trust. Suggested movie for you to watch this week: “Father of the Bride.” hard work. It may just be a large or ange fruit, but pumpkins rep resent the spirit of Hallow een. Many children love go ing to houses not just for candy, but to see people’s pumpkins, whether they have ghoulish faces or some kind of scene that obviously took hours to create. People who find their pump kins in pieces on the road has had their Halloween spirit tainted. They no longer wish to carve a pumpkin, for fear of wasting all that time just to have it ruined. Pumpkin protection isn’t foremost on most people’s minds on Halloween night, but if you’ve spent the better part of a day carving and shaping a pumpkin, it’s right up there. There are many ways to protect your beefed-up candleholder and the follow ing are some suggestions: Keep it inside. Put your pumpkin next to a window facing out so that if a delin quent wants to smash it he’s gonna have to face criminal charges for breaking into your house. Bring the pumpkin inside af ter the stream of trick-or-treaters starts to taper off. That way, you can show of your handiu/nrb with- ’ out having a big smelly pumpkin "^sitting next to your TV all night. Place the pumpkin in a well-lit area. This may defeat the purpose putting a candle in But let’s be honest. Does a single candle really light it up that well? Last but not least, stay up all night and watch that pumpkin like a hawk. If you see some kid walking by your house a lot, wait until he makes a move for the jack o’ lantern, then come running out of your house like a chicken with its head cut off. That’ll scare the kid so bad the next time he thinks about pumpkins he’ll need to change his pants.
