_______________ L
WedNEsdAy, OçTobER 24, 2001
The CL ac I< amas P rint
The countdown resumes as the dead awake
ISAIAH CREEL
staff writer
Arise from your dark slumber,
zombie lovers, it’s time for
Isaiah’s zombie picks number
two. (Now with more gore!)
This week’s selections are
sure to fulfill your appetites
for carnage and chaos while
leaving that zombie- fresh
feeling in your mouth.
At the number three spot is
a little known Spanish movie
called “City of the Walking
Dead.”
It all starts in the newsroom
with Jack the news guy get
ting assigned an interview
with
a
world-renowned
nuclear scientist due to arrive
at the local airport at any
moment. When Jack arrives at
the airport, there is commo
tion all around when an uni
dentified airplane lands near
the main terminal. Jack, along
with his trusty cameraman,
stands by while the army is
called in to investigate.
Shortly after the local police
department and some National
Guard members show up, the
hatch opens. Out pops that fa
mous scientist with a few
friends and a little surprise.
They’re all zombies! Mayhem
ensues and eventually the
whole metropolitan area is
turned into zombies! Mass
hysteria!
Upside- smart zombies use
clubs to smash their victims
before devouring them.
Downside- dubbing from
Spanish to English makes the
dialogue too ridiculous to
follow the story.
Number two is another in
stallment of the Evil Dead
trilogy, “Army of Darkness.”
Ash is thrown into medieval
Europe to fight legions of the
undead after being sucked
into a vortex of terror in the
second “Evil Dead.” Yes, his
hand is still a chain saw. This
timeless masterpiece of the
macabre is “overflowing with
spectacular special effects” which
Poets’comer
•••••••••••••••a
Bonita M. Richardson
There is danger in shattering
happiness........ India Proverb
Queen of the night incense drifts
Over and through the art of intent
Silk slides to the floor
Tell us good dreams, good tastes
Bring plums and joy on a brass
platter
Searching for proofs fortunes and
omens
We are tired of war drums and
strangles
Give us seeded cake and sweet
bread
Touch our hands with blessings and
love
add equal portions of terror and
humor. Shop smart, shop S-Mart!
Upside- lots and lots of zom
bies, plus medieval sword fight
ing.
Downside- most of the zombies
resemble skeletons. (Don’t let
them fool you, they’re really
zombies.)
Stay tuned, kiddies, for the
number one zombie
movie of all
I
time!
Paint our windows with calm
evening light
Still the angry voices outside the
gate
Let the scent of peaches follow us
to sleep
Halloween tricks to keep
your pumpkin from harm
DANIEL MERYS
staff writer
Aries (March 21- April 19): You
are standing on the threshold of
stupidity. Try not to make the same
mistake again. One of the most im
portant things you can do right
now is make a plan of action and
stick with it untilyou finish what
you have set out to do, no matter
how difficult it may become. Sug
gested movie for you to watch this
week: “Jaws.”
Taurus (April 20- May 20): For
the first part of the week you will
no doubt experience some finan
cial strain. Try using your last few
dollars to win some quick cash via
scratch-its. You may win big, but
be careful not to purchase any with
cartoon witches on them. Sug
gested movie for you to watch this
week: “Aladdin.”
Gemini (May 21- June 20): Whoa,
buddy! You had better take a few
steps back from your current situ
ation to do some personal reflec
tion. It seems that if you follow
through on your current plan, it
may blow up in your face. Sug
gested movie for you to watch this
week: “Planet of the Apes.”
(Heston, not Marky Mark.)
Cancer (June 21- July 22): For
get about your problems! This
week is playtime for the crab (al
though you should do your best
not to contract actual crabs while
enjoying this “playtime”) so in
stead of going to a party, throw
one. You are the star everyone is
dying to get close to...so chew
lots of gum. Suggested movie for
you to watch this week: “Pretty
Woman.”
Leo (July 23-August 22): A simple
quick fix won’t work for you this
time. It is time for you to insist on
quality, not quantity. Splurge on ex
tra virgin olive oil and products that
boast “new and improved” on the
label. Suggested movie for you to
watch this week: “My Fair Lady.”
Virgo (August 23- September 22):
Your level of popularity is growing
fast, and you are finding much suc
cess in nearly everything you do.
Expect a reward or prize of some sort
for your positive actions, maybe
something like a shiny sticker. Sug
gested movie for you to watch this
week: “Bandits.”
Libra (September 23- October 22):
You can’t expect things to always
go your way. Right now it is better
to go along with the majority. If you
try to be a rebel, you will only make
a fool of yourself. Show a disad van-
taged person the kindness you
would expect if you were in his or
her position. Suggested movie for
you to watch this week:
“Eraserhead.”
Scorpio (October 23-November
21): Your competitors don ’t stand a
chance against you this week! You
are red-hot and everyone wants to
be your lover (or at least borrow
money from you). Suggested movie
for you to watch this week: “The
Graduate.”
Sagittarius (November 22-Decem-
ber 21): You may find yourself need
ing to apologize for something you
did unintentionally. There are people
watching and listening, so make it
sincere, the result of this apology
may be significant. Suggested
movie for you to watch this week:
“Trainspotting.”
The week before Halloween
and the week after Hallow
een are very dangerous times
for a pumpkin.
Vandals spend every night
hunting for the largest and
most intricately carved
pumpkin, with the intent to
raise it high above their
heads and bring it crashing
to the ground, ruining hours
of
Capricorn (December 22-January
19): You are now able to see the road
through the fog. Your path is clear
and it is now time for you to follow
it. Do not pass up the chance for
enlightenment, as it will be presented
to you many times this week. Sug
gested movie for you to watch this
week: “Heathers.”
Aquarius (January 20-February
18): If you are going to tag along
with anyone this week, make sure
you aren’t dead weight If you don’t
see yourself helping out with the
situation, get the hell out of it so
someone competent can take your
place. If you are doing a fine job,
keep it up, your work is greatly ap
preciated. Suggested movie for you
to watch this week: “Natural Bom
Killers.”.
r ' A
Pisces (February 19-March 20):
You are a naturally giving person.
Be careful, this could leave you wide
open for people to take advantage
of you. The people who truly appre
ciate your kindness and generosity
will let you know. These are the
people you can trust. Suggested
movie for you to watch this week:
“Father of the Bride.”
hard work.
It may just be a large or
ange fruit, but pumpkins rep
resent the spirit of Hallow
een. Many children love go
ing to houses not just for
candy, but to see people’s
pumpkins, whether they
have ghoulish faces or some
kind of scene that obviously
took hours to create.
People who find their pump
kins in pieces on the road has
had their Halloween spirit
tainted. They no longer wish
to carve a pumpkin, for fear of
wasting all that time just to
have it ruined.
Pumpkin protection isn’t
foremost on most people’s
minds on Halloween night,
but if you’ve spent the better
part of a day carving and
shaping a pumpkin, it’s right
up there.
There are many ways to
protect
your
beefed-up
candleholder and the follow
ing are some suggestions:
Keep it inside. Put your
pumpkin next to a window
facing out so that if a delin
quent wants to smash it he’s
gonna have to face criminal
charges for breaking into
your house.
Bring
the
pumpkin inside af
ter the stream of
trick-or-treaters
starts to taper off.
That way, you can
show of your
handiu/nrb with-
’ out having a big
smelly pumpkin
"^sitting next to
your TV all night.
Place the pumpkin in a
well-lit area. This may defeat
the purpose putting a candle
in But let’s be honest. Does
a single candle really light it
up that well?
Last but not least, stay up
all night and watch that
pumpkin like a hawk. If you
see some kid walking by your
house a lot, wait until he
makes a move for the jack o’
lantern, then come running
out of your house like a
chicken with its head cut off.
That’ll scare the kid so bad
the next time he thinks about
pumpkins he’ll need to
change his pants.