Image provided by: Clackamas Community College; Oregon City, OR
About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 9, 2000)
WedNEsdAy, FebRUARy 9, 2000 past, presenfand future This iust jmUoye sucks! Love after infatuation If you’re the «type who 'was the last'kid picked for has trouble comprehending ratball, the fashion outcast Shakespeare, just keep this of the church youth group, in mind the next time you’re and the dateless wonder perusing the Bard: much of amid budding Lothorios. I’m pretty sure I his ihaterial breaks down top •' I the ! loser list— . . e v" e n Charlie Brown at i least had a Joel P. Shempert baseball Contributing Writer team. -. I sup-, into two themes, namely pose I should be grateful. “Women—aren’t they After all, with a love life that great?” and “Women—| once consisted of “loved they’ll get you every time.” and wished” and later be Another noted poet, one came “loved and rejected,” Mr. Sandler, in his epic The “loved and lost” should Wedding Singer, stated it seem a veritable paradise. Strange; that’s not what it this way: “Love sucks.” And finally, Berkc feels like. I guess I just can’t Breathed, the genius behind get as excited over getting the defunct comic strip my heart dislodged and Bloom County, put it even trampled as the average in i more bluntly. “Women will dividual. Still and all, I suppose it tear your heart out and feed could be worse. She could it to the cat.” Does anyone see what I’m have waited until I had spent a month in Eastern Europe getting at here? You’re probably familiar pining for her before decid with a more common say ing to “move on with her ing— "’Tis better to have life.” Oh, wait; she did. Or she could have let her loved and lost than never to have loved at-all."r^,kpbw I reservations about.our rela tionship well up for weeks have. And I know that I want or more before finally pour- to drop a two-ton parcel of ing out her frustration. Dear John letters on the That’s right; she did that too. But at least she didn’t originator of that statement. I also know that I never hear break up with me by phone. that tripe from the lips of the Oops—strike three. But hey; I’m not bitter. loser himself. Far from it! Why, by golly, Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.. .the loser. Been I’m quite the catch! I’m still one all my life. Probably be in the game. There are one for the rest of it, too. I plenty of cliches (oops, I onfession loser iliïliiiilli ■■■ mean fish) in the sea, after all. And I have plenty to of- fer a potential mate: ainmaterialistic mindset (broke), freewheeling lifestyle (I take the bus), un- conventionality (geek hob bies), creativity (insufferable art snob), charm (bad jokes) win these d.ns nn loserhood is practically dor mant! There’s not a woman in the world who wouldn’t kill to have me! Ok, move over, Ramses— there’s anew King of Denial. You know, I’m honestly not a misogynist. I like women. Really. A lot. And though that may sound like the last-ditch backpedal i ng of a loser who still wants a shot at love, may I submit that perhaps the problem is not with women but with hu manity? Oscar Wilde offered this cheery insight on the matter: Yet each man kills the thing he loves, by each let this be heard.. .the cow ard does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword! Like the man says: Love sucks. WWW- A few days ago^d-vyas watching a movie on TV about two people falling in love. The girt had a smile plastered on her face, the guy seemed to be walking The view ; frojn^he^J whenypp’re planning out what to talk about next. Now, the conversation flows ór, if it doesn’t, we un- ' derstand that it’s OK w to be While infatuation ata' fun, true love, silent sometimes. We finish real love, is each other’s sentences and the miostjrv^ have a plethora'of looks we tense feel-' give each other that mean ing any nu/‘ anything from ",’you’re em man can barrassing me" to ^’you’re - There is alovc lar more powerful and far more satis fying; it’s love after infatua- feel. It is beautiful." We ;k‘now '■ each other ’ s stronger Feature Editor. than anger, likes and dislikes. We can tell stronger if the other person is tired, on air, and they both ex than hate-love is a powerful or has had a bad day. He knows all my faults and changed coy, flirtatious tool-and it shouldn’t be I know his He knows my taken for granted. v glances. I made a promise to my strengths and my weak- I thought back to the be ginning of my relationship self that I wouldn’t say "I “heSsbs? He won’t with my boyfriend, Jeremy. love you" leave me We were like that at the start. to anyone even if I act We had our "puppy love" until I knew unreason stage. I meant it. I able and im We all know the signs of kept that mature. He "puppy love" or-the less ; promise. puts up with friendly term-infatuation. And now my horrid It’s a state of perpetual bliss, when I say morning love ■having your nervous system "I breath, stub breakdown (sweaty palms, you" to Jer born streak increased heart-rate; blush emy, he and messy ing, etc.), and putting on never has car. to wonder those rose colored glasses. He loves me. Valentine’s Day is focused flf I mean Jeremy Wright and Shelbi I love him. Wescott mainly on this type of gushy what I say; I can love. It’s a holiday where we he knows only hope that everyone thrive on the flowers, candy, my love is real. and romantic mo vies.“ It frustrates me when I can experience true love (As a weird side note: hear people use that phrase once in their life. It’s a feel When I was a little girl, I used in vain. I feel they are cheat ing I wouldn't trade for to have this recurring drcam ing themselves out of real anything in the whole where every Valentine’s Day, ity and potency "I love you" world. To Jeremy, my best Cupid would come and carries. I don’t miss being infatu friend and soulmate: shoot me with an arrow so I wduldfall in love with him. ated. I don’t miss the awk Happy Valentine's Day. t.Soyl ivould spend my days ward moments when you’re Thank you for everything in love with the god of still trying to convince the you do for me and every love...I was a strange person that you’re worth thing you are in my life. I Schild.. .but I digress.) staying with, or the silences love you with all my heart. £ Shelbi Wescott Motion Manne.com "Where boat building is still an art" We are where Portland goes to plan the perfect evening. Reporting, reviews and commentary for the regional music scene www.jammagazine.com Available at over 30 locations. 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