WedNEsdAy, FebRUARy 9, 2000
past, presenfand future
This iust jmUoye sucks! Love after infatuation
If you’re the «type who 'was the last'kid picked for
has trouble comprehending ratball, the fashion outcast
Shakespeare, just keep this of the church youth group,
in mind the next time you’re and the dateless wonder
perusing the Bard: much of amid budding Lothorios. I’m
pretty sure I
his ihaterial breaks down
top •' I the
! loser list—
. .
e v" e n
Charlie
Brown at
i least had a
Joel P. Shempert baseball
Contributing Writer
team.
-. I
sup-,
into two themes, namely pose I should be grateful.
“Women—aren’t
they After all, with a love life that
great?” and “Women—| once consisted of “loved
they’ll get you every time.” and wished” and later be
Another noted poet, one came “loved and rejected,”
Mr. Sandler, in his epic The “loved and lost” should
Wedding Singer, stated it seem a veritable paradise.
Strange; that’s not what it
this way: “Love sucks.”
And finally, Berkc feels like. I guess I just can’t
Breathed, the genius behind get as excited over getting
the defunct comic strip my heart dislodged and
Bloom County, put it even trampled as the average in
i
more bluntly. “Women will dividual.
Still and all, I suppose it
tear your heart out and feed
could be worse. She could
it to the cat.”
Does anyone see what I’m have waited until I had spent
a month in Eastern Europe
getting at here?
You’re probably familiar pining for her before decid
with a more common say ing to “move on with her
ing— "’Tis better to have life.” Oh, wait; she did.
Or she could have let her
loved and lost than never to
have loved at-all."r^,kpbw I reservations about.our rela
tionship well up for weeks
have.
And I know that I want or more before finally pour-
to drop a two-ton parcel of ing out her frustration.
Dear John letters on the That’s right; she did that too.
But at least she didn’t
originator of that statement.
I also know that I never hear break up with me by phone.
that tripe from the lips of the Oops—strike three.
But hey; I’m not bitter.
loser himself.
Far from it! Why, by golly,
Ladies and gentlemen, I
give you.. .the loser. Been I’m quite the catch! I’m still
one all my life. Probably be in the game. There are
one for the rest of it, too. I plenty of cliches (oops, I
onfession
loser
iliïliiiilli
■■■
mean fish) in the sea, after
all. And I have plenty to of-
fer a potential mate:
ainmaterialistic mindset
(broke),
freewheeling
lifestyle (I take the bus), un-
conventionality (geek hob
bies), creativity (insufferable
art snob), charm (bad jokes)
win these d.ns nn
loserhood is practically dor
mant! There’s not a woman
in the world who wouldn’t
kill to have me!
Ok, move over, Ramses—
there’s anew King of Denial.
You know, I’m honestly
not a misogynist. I like
women. Really. A lot. And
though that may sound like
the last-ditch backpedal i ng
of a loser who still wants a
shot at love, may I submit
that perhaps the problem is
not with women but with hu
manity? Oscar Wilde offered
this cheery insight on the
matter: Yet each man kills
the thing he loves, by each
let this be heard.. .the cow
ard does it with a kiss, the
brave man with a sword!
Like the man says: Love
sucks.
WWW-
A few days ago^d-vyas
watching a movie on TV
about two people falling in
love. The girt had a smile
plastered on her face, the
guy seemed to be walking
The view
; frojn^he^J
whenypp’re planning out
what to talk about next.
Now, the conversation
flows ór, if it doesn’t, we un-
'
derstand that it’s OK w to be
While infatuation ata'
fun, true love, silent sometimes. We finish
real love, is each other’s sentences and
the miostjrv^ have a plethora'of looks we
tense feel-' give each other that mean
ing any nu/‘ anything from ",’you’re em
man
can barrassing me" to ^’you’re
- There is alovc lar more
powerful and far more satis
fying; it’s love after infatua-
feel. It is beautiful."
We ;k‘now '■ each other ’ s
stronger
Feature Editor. than anger, likes and dislikes. We can tell
stronger if the other person is tired,
on air, and they both ex than hate-love is a powerful or has had a bad day.
He knows all my faults and
changed coy, flirtatious tool-and it shouldn’t be
I know his He knows my
taken for granted. v
glances.
I made a promise to my strengths and my weak-
I thought back to the be
ginning of my relationship self that I wouldn’t say "I “heSsbs?
He won’t
with my boyfriend, Jeremy. love you"
leave me
We were like that at the start. to anyone
even if I act
We had our "puppy love" until I knew
unreason
stage.
I meant it. I
able and im
We all know the signs of kept that
mature. He
"puppy love" or-the less ; promise.
puts up with
friendly term-infatuation. And now
my horrid
It’s a state of perpetual bliss, when I say
morning
love
■having your nervous system "I
breath, stub
breakdown (sweaty palms, you" to Jer
born streak
increased heart-rate; blush emy,
he
and messy
ing, etc.), and putting on never has
car.
to wonder
those rose colored glasses.
He loves me.
Valentine’s Day is focused flf I mean
Jeremy Wright and Shelbi
I love him.
Wescott
mainly on this type of gushy what I say;
I
can
love. It’s a holiday where we he knows
only hope that everyone
thrive on the flowers, candy, my love is real.
and romantic mo vies.“
It frustrates me when I can experience true love
(As a weird side note: hear people use that phrase once in their life. It’s a feel
When I was a little girl, I used in vain. I feel they are cheat ing I wouldn't trade for
to have this recurring drcam ing themselves out of real anything in the whole
where every Valentine’s Day, ity and potency "I love you" world.
To Jeremy, my best
Cupid would come and carries.
I don’t miss being infatu friend and soulmate:
shoot me with an arrow so I
wduldfall in love with him. ated. I don’t miss the awk Happy Valentine's Day.
t.Soyl ivould spend my days ward moments when you’re Thank you for everything
in love with the god of still trying to convince the you do for me and every
love...I was a strange person that you’re worth thing you are in my life. I
Schild.. .but I digress.)
staying with, or the silences love you with all my heart.
£
Shelbi Wescott
Motion Manne.com
"Where boat building is still an art"
We are where Portland goes
to plan the perfect evening.
Reporting, reviews
and commentary
for the regional
music scene
www.jammagazine.com
Available at over 30 locations.
Custom Boats
Accessories
Aluminum Fabrication
Come see us at the Pórtland Sportsman Show!
Feb. 9-13 at the Expo Center.
22768 S. Johnson Rd West Linn, OR 97068
(503) 557-1802
Sea Gem’s Jewelers, Too
100 Oregon City Shopping Center
I 557-8577