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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 13, 1999)
9 A&E TI he ClAckAMAS P rint WEdNEsdAy, OcTobER 1J, 1999 Lose yourself in the MAiZE PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE MAIZE ANGIE DASCHEL A&E Editor “Where the hell are we?” “We just passed this spot five minutes ago!!” “It’s all circles, my friends, all circles.” “JOSH!!!!” Think these are lines from a certain low- budget horror flick? Wrong! These are things I overheard while getting lost at the MAiZE, a five- acre corn labyrinth by the pump kin patch on Sauvie Island. Operating now through Hallow een (weather permitting), the MAiZE consists of hundreds of twists and turns and dead ends that are all cut out of imposingly tall stalks of corn. From the ground, the MAiZE seems to be a confus ing, haphazard collection of trails. From the air, however, it is clear the MAiZE follows a precise, ordered pattern of a rose and the words “City Of Roses.” This effect is a work of art from the air, and a night mare from the ground. A FUN nightmare. Before you enter the MAiZE, you will receive a passport to help you navigate through the trails. Pass ports coincide with markers found sporadically in the corn, but for people with no sense of direction, like myself, they are of little help. Here’s some advice— go to the MAiZE with some good friends who are willing to scare others, or to be scared. Split up into small groups instead of one big group, because hiding from your friends and scaring them adds to the fun. I had a series of small heart attacks in the MAiZE because of my friends jumping out at me, and it was worth it. If you don’t want to split up and scare each other, don’t worry. Workers at the MAiZE will be dressed up in costumes and laying in wait for you, so be care fill. This place is certainly worth the drive to Sauvie Island, and the price is less than a movie ticket. Formore information about the MAiZE, call 481-6293 or visit their website at www.comfieldmaze.com. Weird Al cuts it up on new album JASON LINGEL Staff Writer It’s time for a drum solo... The lights go out, the band leaves the stage. The audience calls for an encore. The silhou ette of a man in Jedi robes can be seen. The song “American Pie” starts to play, and as the spot light comes on, the voice of Weird Al can be heard singing, “A long, long, time ago, in a galaxy far away...” If you missed Weird Al Yankovic’s “Touring with Scis sors” tour this summer, then you’ve missed out on an exciting show. With more costume changes than Reba McEntire, and an alLstar song line up of new songs and old favorites, no Weird Al fan was left wanting. There were times I laughed so hard I cried. Singing “Smells Like Nir vana,” Al looked almost identical to Kurt Cobain. Between most songs, while the band was chang ing outfits, an on-stage screen was showing clips from the tele vision series “ The Weird Al Show,” and other skits made spe cifically for his new songs. The tour publicized the band’s Running With Scissors album which came out June 1999. The album has already produced two singles: “The Saga Begins,” a star wars parody of “American Pie;” and “It’s All About the Pentiums” a parody of Puff Daddy’s “It’s All About the Benjamins.” Other new hits on the album are “Grape Fruit Diet,” a parody of The Cherry Popp’n Daddies “Zuite Suite Riot “Jerry Springer,” a parody of the Barenaked Ladies Song “One Week;” and for polka fans, a new polka featuring songs from Marilyn Manson, Third Eye Blind and other top bands. Al also put on this album a variety of all-original songs in cluding “Germs,” an alternative Nine Inch Nails type song. Run ning With Scissors went gold in its first five weeks, and is sure to be his largest selling album. Weird Al’s real name is Alfred Matthew Yankovic; he has re corded 10 albums, three compila tion albums, one box set, two video compilations, and one movie. As a teenager, Al began sending homemade tapes of his songs to Dr. Demento, a nation ally-syndicated disc jockey known for playing comedy and novelty music. Demento found a certain charm in the accordion- powered ditties that Al recorded on a cheap cassette player in his own bedroom, and gave him his firstairplay. By the time Al gradu ated from college, with a degree in architecture, he not only had a modest cult following from the good doctor’s radio show, but also had a couple nationally re leased singles (“My Bologna” and “Another One Rides Thé Bus”.) Two years later (1982), Al signed with Scotti Bros. Records, who have released all his albums to date. Al took his stage name from his radio show on campus at California Polytechnic State University at San Luis Obispo. He has held jobs as an accordion teacher, an occasional accordion repo-man and as a disk jockey for a large syndicated radio station in Culver city, CA. The show was the best concert I’ve ever seen— parts of it will be aired on VH 1 before the end of the year. Running With Scissors is definitely Al’s best album yet, and “The Saga Begins” was an instant classic. For more information, see the official “Weird Al” web site at www.weirdal.com. T-So what’s your favorite commercial? A-That’s a tough one... T-Let me rephrase that...which one has the sexiest, most studly, most ooohh baby kinda guy like me in it? A-I don’t know, studliest? T-Which one do you think of and see the guy onscreen, and say, WOW, “T” is so much cooler than he is, but this guy will do...Why are you laughing?? A-Well, there used to be that Diet Coke commercial where all those girls would gather around at their office window and watch this delivery boy or construction worker... T-You mean the Rosie 105 commercials where the guy is dancing around like an idiot... A-NO! God, that’s not what I’m talking about... T-You know, the one with the dork in a suit rapping to his bad self... A-NO! Would you just WAIT, and listen to me? For five seconds? Would it KILL you? T-Sorry, please don’t kill me... A- Any way, this guy is outside on a break from his construction job, and they call it the Diet Coke break, and they all whisper, ‘It’s 10 o’clock, it’s 10 o’clock, and they all go over to thè window and the guy is taking off his sweaty shirt, and he is totally ripped, and he drinks a Diet Coke, and all the girls are like, Ahhhhhhhhh. ..Now that’s a cool commercial... T-I have NEVER seen that commercial... A-It was a couple years ago...anyway, I can’t really think of a good recent commercial.. .Oh wait, the Levi commercials are pretty cool...the one with the guy and the girl who are invisible...the girl starts getting undressed... T-OH YEAH... Let’s Get It ON ! ! ! Yeeeow ! ! That’s so cool, I love that commercial!! But you know what ads get so stuck in my ‘freakin’ head...The damn GAP Conimercials with those sickly lookin’ choir people who look like they just rolled outta bed... THEY CALL ME MELLOW YELLOW... A-No kidding, they are so plain and ordinary, yet they are so memorable. I don’t get it... T- GONNA DRESS YOU UP IN MY LOVE... ALL OVER YOUR BODY A- Yeah, I get it, I’ve seen the damn commercials... T- AND I JUST CAN’T SEEM TO GET ENOUGH OF just can’t get enough, I just can't enough... A- Ok, you’re outta control, you need to stop now...You know, they’re not really a choir, they are just a bunch of singers who happen to be good-looking... T-1 think some of those girls are ugly-looking... A- REALLY? T- 1 don’t usually, you know, judge other guy’s looks, but I don’t think most of those guys are very attractive either... what do you think... A- They are all right... they’re not hot or anything... T- Not like myself, you know... you’re laughing again... A- Well, they’re not like Nicolas Cage-kinda sexy... anyway, what about those Candies commercials...those are hilarious... to be continued next week... T&A is a fictitious conversation between two normal, everyday people. If you have any topics you would like us to discuss, email us at cccprint@clackamas.cc.or, us. If we offend you in our future columns, too bad. 7Z/f CI ac I< amas P rint The student newspaper of Clackamas Community College We do it all for the nookie.
