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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 15, 1997)
4 The Clackamas Print Wednesday, January 15,1997 r i PITVTOFi Jon Roberts | | | | I | | I I I | | | Recently, we at the Clackamas Print challenged you our reading corp, to write and tell us your best ideas about melding movie titles being into onetitle like ‘‘Gump Fiction.” Here are your ideas... ©■ Robert Eastman sent us: Striptease + Twister = Striptease Twister “The Game. "The hottest new form of the classic game, but with a twist These gems were sent to us by an anonymous contributer in the art department (what about the other departments ? Hey English, Math and Science Departments are you going to let the Art department beat you? Comeon enterour super-contest.). Pulptease : Demi Moore tires of her job in a paper mill, deciding one day to rip off her goggles and uniform and jump into the slurry vat Heartless in Seattle : Meg Ryan pursues highland dancer Mel Gibson to a well-known city in the Pacific Northwest, only to find that all his inner organs are bionic replacements. Dirty Gun : Patrick S waze discovers the importance of personal hygiene following his encounter with fastidious astrophysicist Kelly McGillis. Crying Wars: Mark Hamill, as Luke Sky walker, meets a roving band of Irish terrorists in a pub full of unsavory characters. After consuming many beers, they engage in a contest to see who most misses Mom and Dad. Aliens: Impossible: Tom Cruise and Sigourney Weaver stumble onto a conspiracy to plant extra heads inside top C.I.A. officials. Wrath of the Lion King: Owing to a docking accident, visiting dignitary Simba is set adrift in the Starship Enterprise. He goes temporarily insane, causing him to eat his little friends Timón and Pumba. http://www.tnp.com/-wiseguy/mac/ A bold salute to the "other" personal computer. Amusing, yet informative. Approved by the Microsoft Corporation. http://www.telepath.com/cfcoufter/boug/ antimicro.htmf | The contest is still in full swing. Send us your contribution before Feb. 1, and we’ll vote on the ^winner! One lucky mindbender will win two movie passes, a soft drink anda barrel of pop corn! £gn)pkii)S i.:r Dan Clark MusicEditor ¡«Rh, * bed „of-roses ■ ■ * iLrJ; For every ying, there is a yang. Check out this amusing site that offers a second look at the Microsoft Dynasty. Download interesting pictures (Bill Cates as a Borg?) and peruse the various ravings of disgruntled Macintosh owners. Pez.org Home Page http://www.pez.org ’ _ Perhaps one of. the ymost successful bands of the 90's, The Smashing Pumpkins, performed td.ja ne!y solcLpuL Audience at the Rose Garden l^lt Tuesday, finishing off a “four that has ^tested an eternity for Portland fans. g The Portland date on the "Infinite Sadness Tour" was postponed last year when the Pumpkins' touring^ keyboardist died ir om drug overdose and their dr&nmer was fired for continued use of drugs. S^ith so many changes within thetband, both, personalty add musically, many fans began to wortffer if the Pumpkins would be the same.’«If there was any unrest among PoitfTand fans, it was put at ease last Tuesday night. S’ • In support of their n>ffwesfwrelease Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness Pez the other white meat. No child grows up without experiencing a Pez moment. Remember kids Pez is not just a candy; it's a way of life. Check out this page for information on Pez conventions, ordering rare dispensers and more Pez-oriented information than you can shake a Gonzo dispenser at! (which jut received nine Grammy nominations), the Pumpkins filled the major ity of their two-and-a-half-houi* set with new fMeloi^fCollie singles. Opening with a surprisingly mild rendition of their epic tune "Tonight," the Pumpkins, led by the license vocals of lead singer BiJJy Cjfgan, continued to fill an hour of music with heavyT’jpnditions of pastjafid present Pumpkins tracks including "Zero," "Disarm" antfJ^1979."^ It could belaid that the music: was too loud or the band's second encore (yes, they treated the Portland crowd jpo two additional sets), consisting of a 30+ minute versiori of "Through the^Gycs of Ruby/' was too monotonous. The truth is, The^Smashing Pumpkins proved to a primarily young audience that true music stillb'|ives in today's pock and roll. With James lha's driving (and almost Hendrix-cfi^ue), guitar solos and Corgan's sporadic ravings (Morrison?), ©00©@©©©OO©O©©0©@©©O®©©©©0© http://www. ubf.com/ Pick a band, any band. Whether you are searching for news on the New Kids on the Block or guitar tabs for the latest Metallica album (killer, dude), this site has a link for you. Just use their search engine to locate links to pages for any band on the face of the earth. Mars and Jupiter should be added before the end of the month. the Pumpkins served up a musical experience that alluded to tlwr psychedelic rock roots of the carly/70s. The band didn't rely heavily on conversation with audience but did take a Silicon Toad Unveils: The Infinity Void brief moment to do a cdyer of Bush's new single "Swallowed." Corgan abruptly ended this with tKc^question, "What I want to know is: what is he swallowing?" | With the ever changing musical trends of the 90's, The Smashing Pumpkins powerfully demonstrated that meaningful lyrics and solid music writing should take precedence. Their Portland performance comes at the conclusion of a tiresome past year. They proyad that, at least for their "lost" generation, http://www. netwaffc.com/~sificon/voicf-f htmf A thought-provoking page with many resources. Use it wisely and with moderation. For educational purposes only music still has a powerful voice. * TH£ ULTIMATE WEB SMURF CLUB ca H The Web Smurf Club http://web.arcos.org/astro/frame.htmf A Smurf-lovers paradise. Check this site out for everything you wanted to know about your little-two-apples-high friends. Lots of information on Smurf collectibles and loads of Smurf trivia. An overall Smurfy site.
