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About The print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1977-1989 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 18, 1987)
Entertainment ica’s normality can sometimes be very strange Thad Kreisher Writer Before we start anything, I like to dedicate this week’s Jumn to Josh, a man who truly iderstands insanity. Josh, if »u’re out there, (and I know you e), this one’s for you, man. Well, well, well, - I wonder how many articles I’ve started that way. The world will never know. This is finally, and at last, our final exploration into the topic of insanity. This week, you will see a plain college student tie the seemingly unrelated topics of sanity, reality, and American society together, as if by magic. Watch closely as he explains this simple slight of hand illusion step by step and use it to amaze your friends. It’s great fun at parties. Let’s begin. To start with, we peed a statement. ¡STATEMENT #1: In American society, there ac cepted codes of behavior of vary ing degrees depending on several variables. For instance, in public places, (schools, restaurants, shopping malls, etc.etc.), there are certain' things that one just does not do. lOne does not talk to strangers, not even a simple hello, for exam ple. Why? Don’t ask me. You really want to shake sq - ineone up? Just walk over to any anonymous human in a shopping mall, smile, introduce yourself, and offer your hand. People just don’t know what to think about this sort of thing. It’s so....what’s the word...ah, yes, “unusual.” It has been said that man is a social creature. This is true in that we tend to congregate together in huge milling masses. Yet despite mean that “big deal.” If this is the case, you’re not only going to take it, you’re going to take it and smile. Politeness, ugh! It’s so in grained into some people it makes me sick. When this hap pens and you finally do escape, most likely you’ll go and bitch about it to someone else. Very few people have the guts to complain to the person who ac tually should be hearing it. Why? Don’t even ask. Let’s list a few more of these rules, just off the top of my head. One does not discuss unacceptable topics openly, such as farts or burps, which one also does not do in public. One does not sing and dance in public for no apparant reason. One does not look blatantly at others. One should follow the accepted dress code. Men should not display emotion. Yet, women can, and I would even go so far as to say that they are expected to be emotional. Men can be rude and crude as they want openly. It’s just con sidered part of being male. Yet, women are expected to be quite the opposite, at least in public. Any of you who actually believe things are this way are really hurting and should begin seeing an analyst right away. -land of the “free.” We have an electoral process where the president who got the most popular vote could conceivably be defeated because he/she didn’t get the most electoral votes. Something is wrong here. During W.W.II, we imprisoned all Japanese-Americans in a fit of government inspired patriotic panic. When our “enemies” stage an attack, it’s called terrorism, but when U.S. backed “freedom fighters,” (a.k.a. contras), do it, it’s known as a low intensity conflict. A bit of a contra-diction, yuk yuk yuk. Our government helps to keep the Iran/Iraq war going to insure low oil prices. STATEMENT #2: Some of the things society calls “normal” are really and truly weird. Unfortunately, I don’t even have enough room to elaborate on all the things I’m about to list. So, I’ll have to be as brief as possible. I hope you unders tand. Anyhow, here’s an in- Tons of surplus food rots in warehouses while millions across the globe die of hunger. People fear death by AIDS, and so they stop having sex??!! WAIT A MINUTE! NOW THAT’S GOING TOO FAR!!! THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!!! Double standards, double speak, too much like 1984 for me. Well, there you have it. This is my definition of insanity. Did I piss a few of you off? God, I hope so. At least I still have the right to do that, (even if it isn’t safe for me to walk the streets at night any longer). As a society, we continually practice self-denial and supres- sion in many aspects of our life to PRESENTS TWO HOT ’N JUICY" SAVINGS COUPONS (WATCH THIS PAPER FOR MORE SAVINGS TO COME) fZWd I piss a few of you off? God, I "WE GOTTA' REMEMBER TO LOOK EVERY DAY!" hope so. At least I still have the right to do that... ’ this fact, on the whole, no one talks to each other. We generally do not mingle outside of our own segregated tribe of friends and relations. Why? I don’t know. I personally think it’s some kind of pass paranoia. I We’ll delve a little more into Imass paranoia later. Right now, I’d like to inform those of you that haven’t already guessed, that we are now going to discuss the dread “Code of Social Rules and IRegulations.” I Onward. I One does not speak his mind if lone’s thoughts are considered rude. If you’re talking to so meone and this person is really [annoying you, chances are you’re not going to say, “I find convers ing with you to be annoying. It is making me feel rather unplea sant, and I think I’d like to avoid that, thank you.” Instead, you’d probably either excuse yourself politely, of just sit there and take it, especially if you’re a businessman, ’cause it could February 18, 1987 complete list of examples of “normality.” We build missiles for peace. Oh, that was a good one. Every time I hear it I end up rolling on the floor. We are committed as a nation to stopping, com munism because we simply believe it’s wrong, dangerous, and generally not a good way to think (Oh, no! The commies are coming, the commies are com ing.). Yet, haven’t we been just a little brainwashed against them? Our money says “In God We Trust.” We call the police “peace officers.” Yet, these “peace officers” have stopped me and questioned me on several occasions for merely be ing out, walking at 9:00 p.m. “Uh, just in case.” These same peace officers have also told me that if I were to dress different ly, or “not look so suspicious,” that this wouldn’t happen so often. Excuse me, but last I heard, this was the democratic United States - actually, it’s a republic, but who’s counting? obey this Code of Social Rules and Regulations. To me that is insane. I don’t enjoy supressing myself for anyone, anytime. I don’t think you should have to. But, where does the topic of reality fit in, you ask. Well, as you recall, there were three realities. The third was the definite reality, free from all out side influence and biases. Now then, try taking a step back. Be objective and take a good look at what’s really going on. As usual, not a pretty sight. Another good thing to remember is that you are over eighteen. When someone tells you, “You can’t do that,” ask why, and if they can’t give you an answer that satisfies you, do it anyway. Like a great British philosopher once said: “We are ruled by none. Never, never, never.” Finally, I would like to point out, once again, the whole point to this little series on insanity: “Insanity is a perfectly logical reaction to an insane world.” HOT ’N JUICY COUPONS. ITS MORE GOOD NEWS FROM WENDY’S. OOH 084 OOH 030 CHICKEN SANDWICH Now Only $1.69 Valid only at participating Wendy’s. Please present coupon when ordering. One coupon per customer per visit. Not valid with any other offers. Cheese extra. Tax extra where applicable. Offer Good 2/18 to 2/24 BIG CLASSIC, REG. FRIES AND MED. SOFT DRINK Now Only $1.99 Valid only at participating Wendy’s. Please present coupon when ordering. One coupon per customer per visit. Not valid with any other offers. Cheese extra. Tax extra where applicable. 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