Entertainment
ica’s normality can sometimes be very strange
Thad Kreisher
Writer
Before we start anything, I
like to dedicate this week’s
Jumn to Josh, a man who truly
iderstands insanity. Josh, if
»u’re out there, (and I know you
e), this one’s for you, man.
Well, well, well, - I wonder
how many articles I’ve started
that way. The world will never
know. This is finally, and at last,
our final exploration into the
topic of insanity. This week, you
will see a plain college student tie
the seemingly unrelated topics of
sanity, reality, and American
society together, as if by magic.
Watch closely as he explains this
simple slight of hand illusion step
by step and use it to amaze your
friends. It’s great fun at parties.
Let’s begin. To start with, we
peed a statement.
¡STATEMENT #1:
In American society, there ac
cepted codes of behavior of vary
ing degrees depending on several
variables.
For instance, in public places,
(schools, restaurants, shopping
malls, etc.etc.), there are certain'
things that one just does not do.
lOne does not talk to strangers,
not even a simple hello, for exam
ple. Why? Don’t ask me.
You really want to shake sq -
ineone up? Just walk over to any
anonymous human in a shopping
mall, smile, introduce yourself,
and offer your hand. People just
don’t know what to think about
this sort of thing. It’s so....what’s
the word...ah, yes, “unusual.”
It has been said that man is a
social creature. This is true in that
we tend to congregate together in
huge milling masses. Yet despite
mean that “big deal.” If this is
the case, you’re not only going
to take it, you’re going to take it
and smile.
Politeness, ugh! It’s so in
grained into some people it
makes me sick. When this hap
pens and you finally do escape,
most likely you’ll go and bitch
about it to someone else. Very
few people have the guts to
complain to the person who ac
tually should be hearing it.
Why? Don’t even ask.
Let’s list a few more of these
rules, just off the top of my
head. One does not discuss
unacceptable topics openly,
such as farts or burps, which
one also does not do in public.
One does not sing and dance in
public for no apparant reason.
One does not look blatantly at
others. One should follow the
accepted dress code. Men
should not display emotion.
Yet, women can, and I would
even go so far as to say that they
are expected to be emotional.
Men can be rude and crude as
they want openly. It’s just con
sidered part of being male. Yet,
women are expected to be quite
the opposite, at least in public.
Any of you who actually believe
things are this way are really
hurting and should begin seeing
an analyst right away.
-land of the “free.” We have an
electoral process where the
president who got the most
popular vote could conceivably
be defeated because he/she
didn’t get the most electoral
votes. Something is wrong here.
During W.W.II, we imprisoned
all Japanese-Americans in a fit
of government inspired
patriotic panic. When our
“enemies” stage an attack, it’s
called terrorism, but when U.S.
backed “freedom fighters,”
(a.k.a. contras), do it, it’s known
as a low intensity conflict. A bit
of a contra-diction, yuk yuk yuk.
Our government helps to keep the
Iran/Iraq war going to insure low
oil prices.
STATEMENT #2:
Some of the things society
calls “normal” are really and
truly weird.
Unfortunately, I don’t even
have enough room to elaborate
on all the things I’m about to
list. So, I’ll have to be as brief
as possible. I hope you unders
tand. Anyhow, here’s an in-
Tons of surplus food rots in
warehouses while millions across
the globe die of hunger. People
fear death by AIDS, and so they
stop having sex??!!
WAIT A MINUTE! NOW
THAT’S GOING TOO FAR!!!
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!!!
Double standards, double
speak, too much like 1984 for
me. Well, there you have it. This
is my definition of insanity. Did I
piss a few of you off? God, I
hope so. At least I still have the
right to do that, (even if it isn’t
safe for me to walk the streets at
night any longer).
As a society, we continually
practice self-denial and supres-
sion in many aspects of our life to
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this fact, on the whole, no one
talks to each other. We generally
do not mingle outside of our own
segregated tribe of friends and
relations. Why? I don’t know. I
personally think it’s some kind of
pass paranoia.
I We’ll delve a little more into
Imass paranoia later. Right now,
I’d like to inform those of you
that haven’t already guessed, that
we are now going to discuss the
dread “Code of Social Rules and
IRegulations.”
I Onward.
I One does not speak his mind if
lone’s thoughts are considered
rude. If you’re talking to so
meone and this person is really
[annoying you, chances are you’re
not going to say, “I find convers
ing with you to be annoying. It is
making me feel rather unplea
sant, and I think I’d like to avoid
that, thank you.”
Instead, you’d probably
either excuse yourself politely,
of just sit there and take it,
especially if you’re a
businessman, ’cause it could
February 18, 1987
complete list of examples of
“normality.”
We build missiles for peace.
Oh, that was a good one. Every
time I hear it I end up rolling on
the floor. We are committed as
a nation to stopping, com
munism because we simply
believe it’s wrong, dangerous,
and generally not a good way to
think (Oh, no! The commies are
coming, the commies are com
ing.). Yet, haven’t we been just
a little brainwashed against
them? Our money says “In God
We Trust.” We call the police
“peace officers.” Yet, these
“peace officers” have stopped
me and questioned me on
several occasions for merely be
ing out, walking at 9:00 p.m.
“Uh, just in case.” These same
peace officers have also told me
that if I were to dress different
ly, or “not look so suspicious,”
that this wouldn’t happen so
often. Excuse me, but last I
heard, this was the democratic
United States - actually, it’s a
republic, but who’s counting?
obey this Code of Social Rules
and Regulations. To me that is
insane. I don’t enjoy supressing
myself for anyone, anytime. I
don’t think you should have to.
But, where does the topic of
reality fit in, you ask. Well, as
you recall, there were three
realities. The third was the
definite reality, free from all out
side influence and biases. Now
then, try taking a step back. Be
objective and take a good look at
what’s really going on. As usual,
not a pretty sight.
Another good thing to
remember is that you are over
eighteen. When someone tells
you, “You can’t do that,” ask
why, and if they can’t give you an
answer that satisfies you, do it
anyway. Like a great British
philosopher once said: “We are
ruled by none. Never, never,
never.”
Finally, I would like to point
out, once again, the whole point
to this little series on insanity:
“Insanity is a perfectly logical
reaction to an insane world.”
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