Image provided by: Clackamas Community College; Oregon City, OR
About The print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1977-1989 | View Entire Issue (May 11, 1983)
Monologue Idle Hands J. Danà Haynes Editor In Chief Is this a wonderful country or what? On Saturday, May 28 and Sunday, May 29, the National Broadcasting Company will broadcast that most audacious, tenacious and splenetic of festivals, a telethon. But no ordinary telethon is this, oh no. True this one will encompass all the usual dementia’. There will be singers and dancers, acrobatic acts and magicians. And of course, there will be soft- eyed, catch-in-the-throat personalities appealing to our sense of justice and duty and begging for a few dollars to ease a troubled situation. What situation, you may well ask? No, it i& not the American Herpes Foundation, nor is it Jerry’s Kids. The telethon is being held for the Democratic National Committee, which will plead, parade and generally prostitute themselves for our donations. And some people don’t know why I love American politics so much. Some people watch soap operas. Others read the Hollywood scandal sheets. I watch politics. Ain’t it wonderderful? The Demothon, for want and lack of a better term--! almost called it a Donkeython, but that sounds too much like an electronic arcade game will be a 17-hour extravaganza and has been pick ed up by NBC. The guest list for the affair includes Paul Newman, Mary Tyler Moore, Mario Thomas and Gene Kelly, as well as half a dozen guest ap pearances by party bigwigs. According to the releases, the Demothon will also include three “minidocumentaries” which will focus on average Americans in the street, tell ing us why they plan to donate to such a worthy cause. Monday, May 2, there was a theft reported at the College. A student who shall remain nameless had approximately $250 worth of his property stolen from the back of his pickup, according to the Oregon City Police Department. The stolen property was worms. 10,000 worms, to be precise. Officer Bob Funkhouser of the OCPD would give few details about the case, other than to say the victim (the worm owner, not the worms) is a student here who is helping to support his family by catching and selling night crawlers to, as Of ficer Funkhouser put it, “a worm outlet.” The worm broker shall also remain nameless. The police have no leads as to the whereabouts of the absconded worms. Officer Funkhouser would say, however, that the authorities have ruled out kidnapping. Anyone with information on the worm snatch is encouraged to contact the College’s Public Safety Office, ext. 302 or the Oregon City con stabulary. Or, if you have seen anyone walking 10,000 worms, let us know. Funkhouser did not mention how the victim would identify his worms. Everybody likes a little free publicity now and then. Especially the College’s hard-working Theater Department, which is currently rehears ing the spring production of Jules Feiffer’s “Little Murders.” However, proving that you can have too much of a good thing, (in this case, publicity), the Col lege’s Public Relations Office recently released a memo on the production. The memo was sent throughout the Portland metro area and included the ticket prices, running dates, curtain time and the ending of the play. PIO newcomer Steve Dodge, who is pinch writing for Information Officer and New Mother Anne Tongue, said he has been contacted by the none-too-happy Theater Department and retrac tions are already in the mail. “Little Murders,” by the way, opens May 19 and runs for two weekends. For less information, contact PIO. Page 2 Or else . . Be nice to your mother Brett Bigham night. Spinach, brusselssprouts, eggplant and chicken hearts would be a few of the other delicacies she would serve. Well, we did it again America. We’ve pulled School or work brown-bag lunches would the wool over her eyes again. By devoting a full be hit hard too. Ketchup sandwiches, prunes day to her we’ve gotten a full year’s worth of and saltine crackers would be your big meal. work out of dear old Mom. Milk on the edge of sourness would accompany I was kind of perplexed over what to do for every meal. my mom on Mother’s Day, but a quick trip to the Of course the kitchen would not be her only drugstore netted me a Hallmark. A Hallmark is stronghold. Moms are great survivors and are one of those cards that says it all and you don’t equipped with cunning minds. Her next offen have to say anything. They are the simplest sive moves would be directed from the laundry things in the world to give, except maybe room. Accidentally washing a red towel in with nothing at all. all of your underwear could be devastating!! You It’s amazing how a simple card can make us would be unable to ever again change in the feel as though we have made up for all of the locker room. What would everyone think of garbage that we’ve given Mom throughout the your pink underwear? It could lead to some pret year. May 8 is kind of like the big day of ty embarrassing situations. forgiveness for all of us. Petty ugliness would show up all around I don’t see how any sensible mom could put the house. Mom would use every angle to chip up with this sort of treatment. She should de into you. Your soft Charmin toilet paper would mand that she should be treated as a human be be replaced with Generic one-ply, man’s closet ing all year long and not just for one day. clone of sandpaper. The sheets on your bed Maybe mothers should unite and demand would go unchanged until either you did it their rights. Unionize! That could be the answer. yourself or they crawled off themselves. The I can just see my mom lounging around the sheets, of course, would have been washed with house in her Teamsters Local 501 sweatshirt. a red towel and would be an off-pink shade. The Now a mother just couldn’t go on strike. TV guide, as well as the homework that you left That would be devastating to our lives and in the living room, would disappear, and so economy, but she could start using war tactics would one sock of every pair you own. around the house. The kitchen of course would When you think of how much a mom does become the primary battleground, with meals ... or worse yet, what she could do, it stands to being her major weaponry. Can you just imagine reason that it would be to our benefit to treat her what she would put on our plates for dinner? a little better. This year I am going to attempt to Monday would become liver night. Tuesday make every day some sort of Mother’s day. I would be leftover liver sandwich night, and might just give her a smile or a hug. In any case, Wednesday would be liver stew or casserole I won’t forget her. I don’t dare. Arts Editor Presidential letter cites First of all, on behalf of my Vice President (Linda Cox) and myself, we would like to thank all the students who came out to vote. This year’s election had one of the heaviest voter turnouts in a long time. I assure you all that we will do our best to serve you. who have concerns to feel free to stop by and talk to us. You can also leave a message if you would like me to contact you at your convenience. There have been many suggestions concerning more study areas (possibly in the Community Center Mall). A committee has been put together to look into this issue. This committee will submit their suggestions this term to ASG. Before fall term we hope to have these new study areas in effect. don’t have the answers and therefore, cannot make any promises on the issue. I can on ly assure you that I will do my best. Smoking in the non smoking areas in the cafeteria is another concern. I would like to think all students could obey these simple rules as construc tive community members. ASG provides a positive means to improve all areas of their learning environment. Let us all make it our goal to make this school a better place, not only for ourselves, but for future students. Together we can achieve this goal. John Sagoe ASG President We’ve been in office for a week and students have been wondering what we have ac complished and what we have in store. Basically, for the rest of this term we are going to continue with what my predecessor (Paul Nastari) and Prices in the bookstore his cabinet had planned and and cafeteria are other main already started. Anything new concerns of students. I realize from my regime will be initiated this is a problem, but I honestly next fall. However, we are do ing some of the necessary THE PRINT, a member of the Oregon Newspaper Publishers ground work and gathering the Association, aims to be a fair and Impartial Journalistic medium ideas that you will hopefully covering the campus community as thoroughly as possible. Opi present to us. Within the next nions expressed In THE PRINT do not necessarily reflect those of two weeks, we will be taking a the College administration, faculty, Associated Student Govern ment or other members of THE PRINT. Clackamas Community survey on various issues that College, 19600 S. Molalla Avenue, Oregon City, OR 97045. have come up. We are also try ing to gather information and Office: Trailer B; telephone: 657-8400, ext. 309, 310 ideas on some of the changes Editor In Chief: J. Dana Haynes that the student body would News Editor: Doug Vaughan Arts Editor: Brett Bigham like. If you are contacted with Sports Editor: Rob Conner this survey we would really ap Photo Editor: Duane Hiersche preciate your cooperation. The Copy Editor: Shelley Ball suggestion boxes are also Staff Writers: Shelley Ball, Tracey Herrle, Buck Jennings, Tracy M. Sumner available. Remember, now is a Staff Photographers: Russ McMillen, Tracey Herrle, Buck Jenn good time to suggest the ings, Troy Maben, Joel Miller, Rick Obritschkewitsch, Jenni changes you would like to see. Weber My ExecutiveCabinet and I Business Manager: Joan Seely will be in the mall of the ac Typesetters: Penney Jones, Terri Hannaford Advisor: Dana Spielmann tivities office during noon lunch hours. I encourage all stedents Clackamas Community College