Image provided by: Clackamas Community College; Oregon City, OR
About The print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1977-1989 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 21, 1981)
opinion Public Opinion Survey Survéÿ changes! Scientific Creationism paper content I SCIENTIFIC CREATIONISM is an alternative form of teaching world evolution that proposes creation and evolution by a divine being—but gives no religious J instruction. See feature story on page.5. 1) Do you think scientific creationism should be taught in Oregon public! schools? If you take a look to your immediate left you will notici something new in The Print: an opinion survey. This 11 one of the changes that The Print will make, due to th I answers given in last week’s readers’ survey. I would like to thank all the people who took the tinsi and the trouble to answer the survey. It helped us under! 2) Is scientific creationism a violation of the amendment separating church and tand what we weren’t doing to catch the readers’ interest! state? Why or why not? what the readers liked and disliked, and what we could dt to improve the paper.. Most of the answers given included a desire for moil human interest, or “common Joe” stories. People-no computers—run this campus and we will definitely d|I 3) If scientific creationism is labeled unconstitutional, do you believe that label more human interest stories. ing it so is, in itself, unconstitutional,, due to the government closing off any Many readers thought that too much space has beel given to movie and record reviews, so we have decided tl other teaching possibilities than Darwin’s theory of evolution? Why or why not? alternate weekly album, play and movie reviews. Rath! than having an album and movie review in the same issue! we will feature an album one week, a movie the next, the, a play. A great deal of the surveys that we received requestel 4) What is your age and sex? that we print more of the letters that we get. Of all the let! tors that we have received, The Print has held only on| Return answers to The Print envelopes throughout the campus or take them from publication, due to very questionable content ani to Trailer B. taste. If you have compliments, complaints, or suggestion! for stories, write them down and either drop by The Prinl office in Trailer B, or put them in “The Print letters to th! editor and survey answers” envelopes located in every hall through the campus. The Print is always looking forwriters. If anyone is ini terested in writing, please drop by The Print office. Thl By Tom Jeffries Charles Atlas ad. I tried kicking faithfully every day. In two more writers we have, thè better we can cover the cani Of The Print a chair but only succeeded in months I had: spent ail my pus, its events and its people. How to pick up women When I finally finished high school and entered college I thought my worries were over about picking up girls. After all, here I am, a typical mature col lege man. By all rights I should be fighting the women off with a stick, but somehow it hasn’t * worked that way. At first I tried to get dates with just my natural charm. “Hey there, Foxy,” I said, approaching a young lovely who has starred in more than one of my more lurid fantasies. “Wanna do yourself a big favor and take in a movie with me tonight?” “I’ve already got a date with Bob,” she replied, obviously trying to conceal her excite ment at being in my presence. “What possible reason could you have for choosing him over me?” I suavely asked. “He’s witty, handsome, sen- sitve, charming, caring, thoughtful and filthy rich.” “I mean besides that.” “You’re a creep.” “Oh.” She does a remarkable job of concealing. This gave me my first inclina tion that I might need to develop something to offset my natural mental and physical characteristics. My first flash of inspiration came while wat ching “The Incredible Hulk.” “Muscles! Of course! Women always go for muscular guys!” I thought. This was going to be a major undertaking, since my physical appearance is such that when I stand on a street comer, people park their cars and put nickels in my ear. My first act was to find an old com ic book and carefully read the Pa9e 2 breaking a toe. Next I sent in*a picture of myself to get an estimate of the work it would take to become an object of female adoration. My picture was returned with a note ex pressing congratulations on my recent escape from the concen tration camp, and I scrapped the idea. My next bright idea came while watching ads for “Satur day Night Fever,” After all, if a skinny guy like John Travolta could thrill chicks by dancing, I figured I had it made. I went out and bought a three piece white suit, took disco dancing lessons, bought a dozen gold chains. (One had a little spoon on it that the salesman told me was a “Coke” spoon. It was pretty inefficient, though. It took me three hours to finish a 16 ounce bottle.) Finally, I was ready and boogied down to the local disco. Unfortunately, I discovered too late that I had to look Italian. Besides, by the time I was ready, the disco fad was for the most part over, and I was obsolete before I started. So, I went home and wracked my brain while I dusted my room with my disco vest;. That’s when I had my third flash of inspiration: I’d become a health food nut. I knew there were a lot of women out there that dug guys that were into nuts and berries, and Greenpeace, and eating yogurt and brown rice (ugh!). So, I started seeing a guru, picketed Trojan, let my hair grow, only bathed once a month, wore a fatigue jacket everywhere, and ate granola money, been arrested for -Thpmas A. Rhodes, editor trespassing, been beaten up by construction Workers, ac This week in “In Search of...,” Leonard Nimoy explores cumulated a healthy colony of for talented writers, photographers, and cartoonists to help fleas , nearly been drafted, and The Print adequately cover the campus. Nimoy and his co contracted a heavy case of hort Charles Berlitz search throughout charted territories malnutrition. It was as close to such as the Bermuda Triangle and the Community Center a total loss as 1 could possibly Lounge for cartoonists who are rich in political humor, have come. writers whose intelligence are as vast as the outer limits, and That was my last attempt at photographers whose every frame of film, could win a bringing women flocking to my Pulitzer Prize. side, because my fourth idea Nimoy looked at the staff box and realized that only 18 ended all of my problems. people are writing for several thousand students. J‘This can’t However, if any guys out there be true!” he shouted, and is trying to encourage the talented have any suggestions, I’d still to show their work. “If you’re interested in writing for the be happy to hear them. You paper,” Nimoy said, “go over to their office in Trailer B. can contact me at a monastery Now, beam me up Scotty!” just outside of Colton. Library needs Saturday opening By David Hayden Of the Print It was totally unbelieveable. I know Reagan is President and Ivancie rules his Portland Em pire, but I never thought the rigormortis of stauch (Conser vatism could hit so close to home. I first heard about it while I was talking with a friend in the Community Center. Even after ¡ considered how he pours oyer every issue of the “National Review,” it still seemed a joke. I mean, who could actually consider closing the library? But ¿hen, after the shock had passed, I realized that, unfor tunately, my friend was quite sincere. “Just think of it—no more research papers in Western Civ,” he started, “No more re quired outside reading, or even tapes to listen to for Ftench.” “You can’t Jbe serious,” I stated. “There’s no real chance of you closing the library, is there? “Don’t be so sure. I realize there will be a few inconve niences that we’ll have to en dure, but nothing we can’t han dle. We won’t be able to check out records or tapes, or even watch TV, but I’m willing to make the sacrifice.” “Oh, come on, there’s no way the students.. .well, at least the Administration won’t stand for it.” “Really, who do you think started the idea?’1 “Reagan, I’d bet?’ “Don’t be crude. Actually the idea goes back-several years to a few local individuals who wish to remain anonymous.” “Sounds like the ‘Clackamas Papers’ to me.”/ “The first major move was to not open the library oil weekends.” * “That seems rathel innocent.” “Not when you consider that I it’s one of the most vital time I for students. You (knowl finishing the last pages of those I all important term papers.” I “Ah, another reason foil eliminating them.” “Exactly. Here we have what I most ‘liberals’ consider thel heart of an education, a I resource to which students! gather to ‘widen’ their horizons,! and we have already mad ai I important move to kill it ’ “Yeah, well, not quite.” “Anyway, I figure if thl students arid teachers aren] moved by ’ ,the weekenl closures, it will only be a shorl time before we can move thl books oqt and the Asteroil machines in.” Clackamas Community College I
