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About Vernonia's voice. (Vernonia, OR) 2007-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 13, 2011)
8 community december13 2011 Another Round: More Words of Wisdom About Beer By Scott Laird The Twelve Days of Christmas-- If Christmas shoppers were to buy all of the items listed in the classic holiday tune, 12 Days of Christmas this year, they would have to spend over $100,000. Ac- cording to a report by PNC Wealth Man- agement, the total cost of the 364 items included in the song has risen to the all- time high price of $101,119.84. Personally I prefer Bob and Doug Mckenzie’s version of the song. You remember the Canadian Mckenzie Brothers, famous for their skits on Sec- ond City TV (“Good day, eh!” “You hoser!”) and infamous for their movie Strange Brew. You still hear their ver- sion of the 12 days during the holiday season, which actually only contains eight days of Christmas and includes 8 comic books, 7 packs of smokes, 6 packs of two four (Canadian slang for a case of 24 beers), 5 golden touques (a win- ter knit cap), 4 pounds of back bacon, 3 french toasts, 2 turtle necks and a beer... in a tree. There is also the Jeff Foxworthy version, 12 Redneck Days of Christmas, which includes: a 12 pack of Bud, 11 wrestling tickets, 10 cans of Copenha- gen, 9 years’ probation, 8 table dancers, 7 packs of Redman, 6 cans of Spam, 5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 hunting dogs, and some parts for a Mustang GT. Although I haven’t done the ac- tual calculations, I’m pretty sure both these version would price out at way less than $100,000. And both contain beer. And who really needs seven swans swimming around and messing up the yard? And ten Lords-a Leaping just sounds like a big headache. Me, I’ll take the beer. It’s much more practical. Holiday Ale Festival—Well, I survived this year’s Holiday Ale Festival at Port- land’s Pioneer Square. The Festival took place under the clear tents on November 30 through December 4, and as adver- tised, was filled with unique winter ales. Some favorites: The Drunken Elf Stout, an Impe- rial Oatmeal Stout from Columbia River Brewing, that was dense and chocolaty, and infused and then conditioned with Kona Coffee. At 9% ABV, I went back for second round of this one. I also really liked the Barry White’s Voice in a Barrel Stout, from Bison Brewing. This is the first time in their 23-year history that Bison has aged their Chocolate Stout in bourbon barrels. The resulting light Burbon flavor with strong caramel flavor coming through made this ale very smooth! Gilgamesh Brewing from Turn- er, OR was pouring a Chocolate Mint Stout ‘11, which at 6% ABV was a little light for a Stout but flavorful with a rich mint and chocolate blend. I enjoyed this one much more than the Peppermint Paddy Porter for Widmer Bros. Brew- ing. Lompac Brewing served a light and refreshing Cherry Christmas, a sour cherry ale that was especially flavorful. All-in-all it was a great after- noon of beer tasting and atmosphere— and a great afternoon at the office. Sometimes it’s a tough job, but some- body has to do it! Head Start Gets a Lift The Vernonia Head Start building is currently in the process of being raised to protect it from future flooding—the building suffered significant damage during the flood of 2007. On the Shelves: What’s Happening at the Vernonia Library The Vernonia Public Library has recently been awarded a grant to convert the microfilm of Vernonia’s newspapers to digital format. This grant, in the amount of $5,145 was awarded by The Meyer Memorial Trust. The library has been the recipient of two previous grants from this trust--one to purchase the original microfilm reader in 1990 and the other in 1996 for a computer to access games for children and for reference information. Each of these grants has met valuable community needs and we are deeply appreciative to The Meyer Memorial Trust for making them possible. Library Hours & Events for December: The library will be closed on December 24 and December 31. Holiday movies will be shown at 3:30 on Tuesday December 20, Wednesday December 21, Thursday December 22 and Tuesday December 27. Heather Lewis represented the Vernonia Area Chamber of Com- merce for the Holiday Bucks drawing on December 10. Katrina Crystal won $25; Monica Hubbart won $25 on December 3. The final drawing will be December 17. Happy Holidays
