8
community
december13
2011
Another Round: More Words of Wisdom About Beer
By Scott Laird
The
Twelve
Days
of
Christmas--
If
Christmas
shoppers were
to buy all of the
items listed in the classic holiday tune,
12 Days of Christmas this year, they
would have to spend over $100,000. Ac-
cording to a report by PNC Wealth Man-
agement, the total cost of the 364 items
included in the song has risen to the all-
time high price of $101,119.84.
Personally I prefer Bob and
Doug Mckenzie’s version of the song.
You remember the Canadian Mckenzie
Brothers, famous for their skits on Sec-
ond City TV (“Good day, eh!” “You
hoser!”) and infamous for their movie
Strange Brew. You still hear their ver-
sion of the 12 days during the holiday
season, which actually only contains
eight days of Christmas and includes 8
comic books, 7 packs of smokes, 6 packs
of two four (Canadian slang for a case
of 24 beers), 5 golden touques (a win-
ter knit cap), 4 pounds of back bacon, 3
french toasts, 2 turtle necks and a beer...
in a tree.
There is also the Jeff Foxworthy
version, 12 Redneck Days of Christmas,
which includes: a 12 pack of Bud, 11
wrestling tickets, 10 cans of Copenha-
gen, 9 years’ probation, 8 table dancers,
7 packs of Redman, 6 cans of Spam, 5
flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires, 3 shotgun
shells, 2 hunting dogs, and some parts
for a Mustang GT.
Although I haven’t done the ac-
tual calculations, I’m pretty sure both
these version would price out at way
less than $100,000. And both contain
beer. And who really needs seven swans
swimming around and messing up the
yard? And ten Lords-a Leaping just
sounds like a big headache. Me, I’ll take
the beer. It’s much more practical.
Holiday Ale Festival—Well, I survived
this year’s Holiday Ale Festival at Port-
land’s Pioneer Square. The Festival took
place under the clear tents on November
30 through December 4, and as adver-
tised, was filled with unique winter ales.
Some favorites:
The Drunken Elf Stout, an Impe-
rial Oatmeal Stout from Columbia River
Brewing, that was dense and chocolaty,
and infused and then conditioned with
Kona Coffee. At 9% ABV, I went back
for second round of this one.
I also really liked the Barry
White’s Voice in a Barrel Stout, from
Bison Brewing. This is the first time in
their 23-year history that Bison has aged
their Chocolate Stout in bourbon barrels.
The resulting light Burbon flavor with
strong caramel flavor coming through
made this ale very smooth!
Gilgamesh Brewing from Turn-
er, OR was pouring a Chocolate Mint
Stout ‘11, which at 6% ABV was a little
light for a Stout but flavorful with a rich
mint and chocolate blend. I enjoyed this
one much more than the Peppermint
Paddy Porter for Widmer Bros. Brew-
ing.
Lompac Brewing served a light
and refreshing Cherry Christmas, a sour
cherry ale that was especially flavorful.
All-in-all it was a great after-
noon of beer tasting and atmosphere—
and a great afternoon at the office.
Sometimes it’s a tough job, but some-
body has to do it!
Head Start Gets a Lift
The Vernonia Head Start building is currently in the process of being raised to protect
it from future flooding—the building suffered significant damage during the flood of
2007.
On the Shelves: What’s Happening
at the Vernonia Library
The Vernonia Public Library has
recently been awarded a grant to convert
the microfilm of Vernonia’s newspapers
to digital format. This grant, in the
amount of $5,145 was awarded by The
Meyer Memorial Trust. The library
has been the recipient of two previous
grants from this trust--one to purchase
the original microfilm reader in 1990
and the other in 1996 for a computer
to access games for children and for
reference information. Each of these
grants has met valuable community
needs and we are deeply appreciative
to The Meyer Memorial Trust for making
them possible.
Library Hours & Events for December:
The library will be closed
on December 24 and December 31.
Holiday movies will be shown at 3:30
on Tuesday December 20, Wednesday
December 21, Thursday December
22 and Tuesday December 27.
Heather Lewis represented the Vernonia Area Chamber of Com-
merce for the Holiday Bucks drawing on December 10. Katrina
Crystal won $25; Monica Hubbart won $25 on December 3. The
final drawing will be December 17.
Happy Holidays