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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 21, 2011)
OREGON'S LGBTO NEWSMAGAZINE OCTOBER 21, 2011 «voices* Single And Fabulous(!) 33 -M S C A N DALS H a llo w e e n 2011 panda say what?! BY BENNIE TAN While I was working the door o f an Or egon Bears event recently, an out-of-town Bear couple walked in with all o f their new- meat-on-the-block glory. I introduced my self and gave them a warm welcome. Then the inevitable line o f questioning commenced— “Is this your boyfriend?” one o f them asked while pointing to the Bear next to me. I told them no, he was just an other board member. “Oh, where is your boyfriend? Is he at home?” No, I am single, I explained, feeling slightly chagrined be cause I knew what was coming. Then— as I anticipated— came the zinger. With pity oozing from his brown eyes and a you-poor- thing tone in his voice, he posed the ques tion, “Oh, why are you single?” I used to get really offended and riled up when people asked me the why-are-you- single question. My view on the matter is, much like my religious beliefs, why I am single is nobody’s business. But then again, can you blame people for wanting to know? Society and the media drill into our soft, malleable brain cells that to be successful in life, one must be in a relationship. It seems when it comes to mainstream media, cou ples are in, singletons are out. I don’t usually blame the media for soci ety’s ills, but I do believe it is partly respon sible for how we view single people. Be it books, music or movies and T V shows— such as Sex and the City, Bridget Jones's Diary and, most recently, Bridesmaid's—coupledom is celebrated while singlehood is painted in a sad and pathetic (albeit often humorous) light. Even if a series starts off with a pro tagonist who is single, by the end he or she has found a mate for life. Toxic bachelorette Carrie Bradshaw eventually wound up with Mr. Big; Bridget Jones, in all o f her chubby, neurotic glory, found her Mr. Darcy; and even Annie from Bridesmaids literally rode oft into the sunset (okay, if you want to get technical, it was night) in the handsome cop’s car. If you’re still unconvinced the media is skewed against singletons, consider this: When was the last time you saw a show or movie depicting a carefree, stable and genu inely happy single main character? The media focuses on how dreadful it is to be solo. And the kicker is these individu als are single because there is something in herently wrong with them. Carrie Bradshaw was in one failed relationship after another because she was a commitment-phobe. When was the last time you saw a show or movie depicting a carefree, stable and genuinely single happy main character? Bridget Jones was alone due to her neuroses and low self-esteem. Annie was single be cause she failed in her business venture and her relationship went south along with it. I understand no one wants to watch a boring movie or T V series. On the contrary, we want to escape from the doldrums o f reality. We want fun and fantasy—we want the big fairy-tale happy ending. But wouldn’t it be nice for once to see single folks por trayed as happy, well-adjusted individuals and not as some flawed character waiting to be saved by a relationship? Here’s the truth— I am currently single because I choose to be. It is my choice and my choice alone. I’m not single because I’m crazy (granted, I may be a little nuts), ugly (my face has yet to induce spontaneous puk ing), fat (okay, I’m a little chubby but the Bears like it), or undesirable. Hey, I’ve got game and I get enough coitus. To be honest, getting sex is not all that difficult, especially between horny, gay men— it’s always been my opinion that fucking is easy but being in love is an entirely different matter. Recently, I’ve had a few suitors come a- calling, but after several failed relationships (three o f them with the same person), I am biding my time and waiting for the right Cub or Bear to come along. Thing is, I’ve seen way too many couples who are in love less, codependent relationships just because they are afraid to he alone and o f being pitied or looked down upon for being single. I am not ready to settle and I refuse to accept sec ond or third best only to realize years into a relationship this man was not meant for me. Certain individuals have called me bitter and jaded because o f my views. While I may be bitter, I am definitely not jaded. Look it up, there is a difference. In fact, I very much look forward to the day my hirsute Prince Charming comes riding in on a white horse and sweeps me off my feet. Until then, I shall remain single and fabulous— exclama tion point for emphasis! I t ] Yes, this article's title was purloined from an episode o f Sex and the City. I f you are single and fabulous, feel free to commiserate with Bennie at pdxpandacub@gmail.com. 10-28-Il & 10-31-11 -f W ill Enchant you W ith <lie Sigh‘1 s • . « <m'(l Sounds ol Ills Magic nl WondoYs scaNôaLs .staff W ill S p e llb o u n d You w i l d O u i I'o iio n s o l D e lite ! IO • 2 8 • 11 I ( ) * T I ‘ lO pm - lam 9pm - M id n ig h t No C over... All W eekend!!! Drink Specials! G iveaw ays! Costumes! Sponsored By: c r A .Gt^A i c BAC ARDI SCAN D ALS l l J ' i SUV S t a r k S t. • P o rtla n d , OH Q ak HEART S C < in d ,lls / )(1 x . C O fll * > 0 3 .2 2 7 .5H H 7
