Just out., August 19, 2011, Page 33, Image 33

OREGON S LGBTO NEWSMAGAZINE
voices-
“You Guys Are Such Fags”
The night Governor Andrew Cuomo
signed the bill legalizing same-sex marriage
in the state of New York, I was at CC Slaugh­
ters, getting ready to party with the Oregon
Bears at their monthly Double X Dance.
Some of you will undoubtedly be angered
There was a jubilant buzz in the air, a palpable by my claim that the# offensive remark was
energy giving those of us in Oregon hope— made by one of our own. Self-loathing gays
however slight— that maybe, one day, this too are nothing new. Unfortunately, many of us
shall come to pass in our state. I looked up at grew up in an environment, a society, foster­
the widescreen TV, which serves as a text- ing this kind of self-hatred. Homosexuals are
message board, where many were celebrating often portrayed as weak and emasculated and
the momentous occasion.
not “normal.” As a result, you have quite a few
“Huzzah! New York just legalized gay mar­ gays who hate themselves and cannot accept
riage!” was followed by “Governor Cuomo who they are. Oftentimes, these individuals
just signed same-sex marriage into law! V IC ­ will even champion anti-gay causes. Need
TORY!” Then there it was— five words that proof? M ark Foley, Larry Craig and Ted
cast a pall over the celebratory mood in the Haggard— two of them were politicians and
one is a preacher. All three were caught, liter­
bar: “You guys are such fags. ”
I was not amused. In fact, I was downright ally, with their pants down in compromising
furious. After I quelled my initial outrage, I homosexual situations. All three are arguably
brought the offensive remark to the bartender’s homosexuals— latent or not— and all three
attention and he promptly had the vile note advocated anti-gay causes at some point in
removed. It would be too easy to blame the their careers.
hateful message on the few straights frequent­
Recently, a friend of mine was chatting
ing Slaughters, but at the time it appeared, it with a hot butch guy on G rindr and they hit
was still early and, as far as I could tell, there it off. They flirted back and forth and the con­
were no bachelorette parties in the bar, nor the versation inevitably turned sexual. Not one to
frat boys those raucous get-togethers tend to hook up without first meeting the person, my
attract. More likely than not, the message was friend— let’s call him Tom— decided to invite
posted by some self-loathing homo.
the G rindr guy out for a beer at a local “mas-
AUGUST 19, 2011
M
In the early hours o f the morning after
New York’s gay marriage bill became law, yet
another gay individual was the victim o f a
BY BENNIE TAN
hate crime not far from CC Slaughters. News
culine” gay watering hole. Imagine Tom’s sur­ outlets later published photos o f the two sus­
prise when the guy responded, “Sorry, man. pects and I wouldn’t be too surprised if one or
both turned out to be latent homosexuals. I’m
I’m not a fag and don’t do that faggy shit.”
The guy promptly stopped chatting with sorry, no straight guy has eyebrows that well
Tom, who was understandably shocked and a manicured.
Seriously though, I am sick and tired of
little confused. He thought it was something
he may have said. I told Tom he had nothing self-loathing gays. I can understand past cir­
to worry about— it was pretty obvious the guy cumstances may make it hard for them, but if
was a self-loathing homo and he probably only they would try to accept who and what
dodged a bullet because the guy didn’t seem they are. I’m no psychologist hut self-accep­
to grasp that wanting to fool around sexually tance is the first step to self-actualization,
with another person o f the same sex qualifies which can lead to internal harmony and ulti­
as faggy behavior. H e also probably had a lot mately self-love and happiness.
o f pent-up rage inside him and Tom’s personal
Trust me, I speak from experience. I used to
safety may have been compromised if they be really uncomfortable with many aspects of
my big gay life— such as being a bottom and
had indeed hooked up.
A few weeks ago, someone was at the house not looking butch enough— but once I accept­
and saw a copy o f Just Out. He started going ed this is who I am and you can like me or not
off on how the publication was just some (thanks, Madonna), I was at peace. As gays,
“faggy bullshit” and only “queers and fags” there are already many who hate us — the last
read the “stupid paper.” This was precious thing we need is to hate ourselves. J0]
coming from a guy who has a long term boy­
friend and was unceremoniously kicked out The opinions expressed in this column are
o f a family reunion for making out with his solely those o f B e n n ie T a n . I f you have any
ex-boyfriend and shouting, “I love big black complaints or laudatory words, email him at
cocks!” in the presence o f children.
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