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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (April 15, 2011)
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Lyon Principal Broker THE POWER OF ONE w w w .ju s t o u t .c o m ■ JOEL HAMLEY MAIL TO: Principal Broker, ARR The Real in Realtor 1902 SE Morrison St. • Portland, OR 97214 Meadows Group Inc. • 1902 SE Morrison Direct: 971.506.9499 SEE M Y DISPLAY AD IN THIS ISSUE See my display ad in this issue Ml *’1 muh . m . iwo * 11 Producer p « D f . ar M s . B ehavior : Another kind of woman also attracts a lot of attention. The second type unconsciously exudes messages of seduction in many of her interactions. She may not be aware of flirting, but she puts forth an energy that goes beyond “gal pals.” She shines her intense gaze on a friend, somehow manages to provide the intimacy of a lover... Then she acts surprised when the FTD flower truck pulls up. D ear S a b r in a : Is the problem that all lesbians misunder a lover (in what is supposed to be an ordinary stand your friendly gestures, or is it that your friendship) and is titillated by the attention she friendly gestures reek of seduction? receives in return. Then she acts surprised when Once in a great while, a woman is so compel the F T D flower truck pulls up. ling that no one can resist her. Such a woman Frankly, Sabrina, the flowers are what seem has charisma, a spiritual gift, and a way of mak most suspect to Ms. Behavior. It’s a big risk to ing others feel that they have come home. This send such a gift, and one that most people won’t woman is a mother-like creature, a goddess, or take without feeling like they’ve been invited to maybe even a saint, and people— men, women do so. Someone who sends gifts to a genuinely and children—can’t help falling in love with baffled recipient is either: her. You may be such a woman. 1) Spending too much time by the punch bowl, But another kind of woman also attracts a lot o f attention. The second type unconsciously 2) Incredibly unconscious, or, exudes messages of seduction in many of her in 3) Confused by having been given a come- teractions. She may not be aware of flirting, but hither message. If this just happened once or twice, Ms. Be she puts forth an energy that goes beyond “gal pals.” She shines her intense gaze on a friend, havior wouldn’t suggest that you did anything somehow manages to provide the intimacy of to excite or to entice your friend. However, it I4400. P O R T L A N D O R 9 7 2 9 3 w w w .ju s to u t.c o m Why Can’t We Be (Just) Friends? I’m a lesbian who mostly hangs out with gay men. I would really like to have more fe male friends, but it never seems to work out for me. Just when I’m thrilled to have a gal pal, the flowers start coming. Then, my new friend confesses her feelings for me and wrecks every thing. Should I just resign myself to the safety of friendships with the boys and not deal with lesbos and their unpredictable emotions? O r am I doing something wrong? — Sabrina P .O . B O X IN PE R S O N TO: 6 2 3 4 N . G R E E L E Y A V E . CeliaLyon.com • CeliaLyon(n aol.com w ww .welcom ehom epdx.com Cali 5 0 3 . 2 3 6 . I 2 5 3 Ext. io . Fax 503.236.I257 JUST O U T RESERVES THE RIG HT TO REJECT O R EDIT ANY ADVERTISEMENT THAT MAY BE DEMEANING O R OFFENSIVE TO O U R READERS friends hut being close to just a few people has its drawbacks. W hat should I do (other than become even more o f a celibate and enter a monastery) to fix this? — Mr. Monk D ear M r . M o n k : Don’t circle around your friend like a dog, hoping that he’ll change his mind. You’ll re tain your dignity (and probably the friendship) if you make it clear that you’d still like to be friends, and then take a step hack to show you really mean it. Try to let go o f any feelings o f humiliation. You fell in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way. You didn’t do anything wrong. (Unless you left out the part where you humped his leg at a party by way sounds like a pattern. So without judging you, of explaining your attraction. Ms. Behavior Ms. Behavior would suggest you engage in a doesn’t mean to offend you, but she does find moment of self-examination. Please sit in front that there’s often a crucial piece of missing in o f your mirror and contemplate this question: formation in the letters she receives.) If it turns out that he feels superior or gets weird because “Am I saint? O r am I just a big panty tease?” you expressed love or desire, then you don’t want him as a close friend anyway. If falling in love with friends is a pattern for D ear M s . B eh avior : you, you need to expand your social life. You I keep my circle o f friends small and close may feel safest starting with a group o f kind- and, as a result, I ended up falling in love with hearted lesbians, who will scoop you up into one of them. I finally decided to confess my the warm bosom o f their group without the feelings to my close friend. He said it wouldn’t risk o f romantic stirrings. change our friendship, but it seems to be that it has and I’m not sure what to do about it. M eryl Cohn is the author o f D o W h at I Say: Should I back off? Should I try to change his Ms. Behavior’s G uide to Gay and Lesbian mind? O r should I crawl under a rock? Etiquette. Send questions or correspondence to I’m not comfortable with having lots of mshehavior@aol. com.
