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OREGON'S LESBIAN/GAY/BI/TRANS/QUEER NEWSMAGAZINE
APRIL 15. 2011
» REAL ESTATE
C O L O U IC U .
BA NM M Q
GREGG BATES
S E A L
W inderm ere, Portland Heights
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*
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Celia J. Lyon
Principal Broker
THE POWER OF ONE
w w w .ju s t o u t .c o m
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JOEL HAMLEY
MAIL TO:
Principal Broker, ARR
The Real in Realtor
1902 SE Morrison St. • Portland, OR 97214
Meadows Group Inc. • 1902 SE Morrison
Direct: 971.506.9499
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See my display ad in this issue
Ml
*’1
muh . m . iwo *
11
Producer
p
«
D f . ar M s . B ehavior :
Another kind of woman also attracts a lot of attention. The
second type unconsciously exudes messages of seduction
in many of her interactions. She may not be aware of flirting,
but she puts forth an energy that goes beyond “gal pals.”
She shines her intense gaze on a friend, somehow manages
to provide the intimacy of a lover... Then she acts surprised
when the FTD flower truck pulls up.
D ear S a b r in a :
Is the problem that all lesbians misunder a lover (in what is supposed to be an ordinary
stand your friendly gestures, or is it that your friendship) and is titillated by the attention she
friendly gestures reek of seduction?
receives in return. Then she acts surprised when
Once in a great while, a woman is so compel the F T D flower truck pulls up.
ling that no one can resist her. Such a woman
Frankly, Sabrina, the flowers are what seem
has charisma, a spiritual gift, and a way of mak most suspect to Ms. Behavior. It’s a big risk to
ing others feel that they have come home. This send such a gift, and one that most people won’t
woman is a mother-like creature, a goddess, or take without feeling like they’ve been invited to
maybe even a saint, and people— men, women do so. Someone who sends gifts to a genuinely
and children—can’t help falling in love with baffled recipient is either:
her. You may be such a woman.
1) Spending too much time by the punch
bowl,
But another kind of woman also attracts a
lot o f attention. The second type unconsciously
2) Incredibly unconscious, or,
exudes messages of seduction in many of her in
3) Confused by having been given a come-
teractions. She may not be aware of flirting, but
hither message.
If this just happened once or twice, Ms. Be
she puts forth an energy that goes beyond “gal
pals.” She shines her intense gaze on a friend, havior wouldn’t suggest that you did anything
somehow manages to provide the intimacy of to excite or to entice your friend. However, it
I4400. P O R T L A N D O R 9 7 2 9 3
w w w .ju s to u t.c o m
Why Can’t We Be (Just) Friends?
I’m a lesbian who mostly hangs out with
gay men. I would really like to have more fe
male friends, but it never seems to work out
for me. Just when I’m thrilled to have a gal pal,
the flowers start coming. Then, my new friend
confesses her feelings for me and wrecks every
thing. Should I just resign myself to the safety
of friendships with the boys and not deal with
lesbos and their unpredictable emotions? O r
am I doing something wrong?
— Sabrina
P .O . B O X
IN PE R S O N TO: 6 2 3 4 N . G R E E L E Y A V E .
CeliaLyon.com • CeliaLyon(n aol.com
w ww .welcom ehom epdx.com
Cali 5 0 3 . 2 3 6 . I 2 5 3 Ext. io .
Fax 503.236.I257
JUST O U T RESERVES THE RIG HT TO REJECT
O R EDIT ANY ADVERTISEMENT THAT MAY BE
DEMEANING O R OFFENSIVE TO O U R READERS
friends hut being close to just a few people has
its drawbacks. W hat should I do (other than
become even more o f a celibate and enter a
monastery) to fix this?
— Mr. Monk
D ear M r . M o n k :
Don’t circle around your friend like a dog,
hoping that he’ll change his mind. You’ll re
tain your dignity (and probably the friendship)
if you make it clear that you’d still like to be
friends, and then take a step hack to show you
really mean it. Try to let go o f any feelings o f
humiliation. You fell in love with someone
who doesn’t feel the same way. You didn’t do
anything wrong. (Unless you left out the part
where you humped his leg at a party by way
sounds like a pattern. So without judging you, of explaining your attraction. Ms. Behavior
Ms. Behavior would suggest you engage in a doesn’t mean to offend you, but she does find
moment of self-examination. Please sit in front that there’s often a crucial piece of missing in
o f your mirror and contemplate this question: formation in the letters she receives.) If it turns
out that he feels superior or gets weird because
“Am I saint? O r am I just a big panty tease?”
you expressed love or desire, then you don’t
want him as a close friend anyway.
If falling in love with friends is a pattern for
D ear M s . B eh avior :
you, you need to expand your social life. You
I keep my circle o f friends small and close may feel safest starting with a group o f kind-
and, as a result, I ended up falling in love with hearted lesbians, who will scoop you up into
one of them. I finally decided to confess my the warm bosom o f their group without the
feelings to my close friend. He said it wouldn’t risk o f romantic stirrings.
change our friendship, but it seems to be that
it has and I’m not sure what to do about it. M eryl Cohn is the author o f D o W h at I Say:
Should I back off? Should I try to change his Ms. Behavior’s G uide to Gay and Lesbian
mind? O r should I crawl under a rock?
Etiquette. Send questions or correspondence to
I’m not comfortable with having lots of mshehavior@aol. com.