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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (March 21, 2008)
MARCH 21, 2008 JUStOUt 43 Bright Lights, Big City A Kentucky boy arrives in Portland—what next? I had forgotten what it was like. The talking—nervous, fast and loud—like at the junior high lunch table. The tight smile and forced laughter with for a happy hour excursion. Because Logan was too just a mess!” one of them said green in town to yet navigate TriMet, my friend Chad and I picked him up where he was staying. to me later.) Maybe thrown off by a new energy in the group, a group of mostly older men, all strangers. Heavy pregame It would be fruitless to recount the entire we decided to wrap things up drinking to curb the butterflies. evening with this newly minted Stumptown on the early side. the scene. Being openly gay for going on 15 years now myself, I’d queer. Suffice it to say we hit up the requisite 10 o’clock happy hour at Jake’s and sauntered standing at a - ■r cocktail table in the glow off forgotten about them. That is, until Logan popped into my life. Via (Logan, well-fueled, rather stumbled) over to the karaoke screen, nursing MySpace, naturally. Boxxes for karaoke. Along the way, Chad and I an ice-bottomed empty drink, His first message to me was on a Tuesday, 9:49 p.m.: “hey im tried to impart some local queer history to him: Logan new to portland and saw your pic and thought i would tell you that Here’s the street comer from a famous scene in welling eyes. your HOT!!!” Well how cute is that 1 thought, and clicked through to his Gus Van Sant’s Drugstore Cowboy, there’s the shell of a building that was once the home of a profile, where I was greeted with a blast of pop music and a swirl long-standing bathhouse. “This used to be called of smiling photos. OK, so he’s not a spam-bot and doesn’t seem ill- Vaseline Alley,” Chad explained with maybe some sadness in his this game.” intentioned, I thought, and responded in kind: “Hi Logan, thanks voice. “But now everything’s moving downtown and over to the east side.” When he wasn’t busy throwing down Long Island iced teas or At that moment, Logan couldn’t have articulated himself more clearly. He’s right—how do gays learn to “play this game”? From whom can young gays learn how to navigate the rocky gay social and cultural terrain? For gays moving from suburban or rural areas especially, is there any way to ease the shock of the big city? Outside messaging friends from home on his iPhone, he was gabbing at warp of the bars, where are the natural places for gays to come together? Through lightly Southern-accented English, Logan told me speed and staring at Portlanders for far too long. In one instance, How best to battle this severe sense of isolation? it was his very first night in Portland—that, indeed, he’d arrived another young guy a few feet away returned his hungry glance, and late the night before and was living with his sister in inner Logan barked out, in his best Kentucky-ese: “What’re you starin’ at? a conversation just last month with Q Center’s Kendall Clawson, Northeast. I consulted his MySpace page, cell phone to one ear, You got a problem?” I asked him to chill out. where she identified one of the center’s top priorities: battling gay They’re some of the telling signs of a newly out gay guy on for your sweet message...aww shucks, well, I consider myself to be a pretty average dude, but thanks for the vote of confidence!:) How are you enjoying PDX so far? How long have you been in town?” This back-and-forth messaging went on for some time, until I finally convinced Logan to ring me. (It took some convincing.) Then, L Corner View BY STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN I looked at me with “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just J don’t know about any of this. I just don’t know how to play, Logan didn’t offer much in the way of reaction (“Oh wow! Cool!”). Or maybe his wide-eyed innocence was reaction enough. I see this as a central failing of the queer community. I recalled w for confirmation. It was all right there, the beautifully stark prose I don’t mean to be dismissive of Logan, or of his background. isolation. But 1 found myself struggling to cope with the gravity of of his personal biography. He had typed this: “i live in oregon now. That night, he simply seemed overwhelmed by the world. When he Logan’s most primal question: How do 1 find myself as a gay man, portland to be exact, i was once from henderson ky, but there was confided during the waning minutes of the night that he was not nothing there for me. ready to find a job, get back in school, and openly gay in Kentucky (except to one dear female friend), that and others like me, in a brash and busy new world? I didn’t know what to say to him. Do you? © make tons of friends:)” he’d never before stepped inside a gay bar and that he’d never kissed Rural Kentucky...“nothing there”...move to the big city .'..get it another man, his behaviors began to make sense. together...start anew. I recognized those feelings, however distant The night was winding down, and many of my friends had they were from me now. I invited Logan out that night with friends expressed a sort of distaste for this new entrant in our circle. (“He’s World Beat Soul Staff Writer S tephen M arc : B eaudoin writes about Portland arts and queer culture at fromevery comer .blogspot, com. He welcomes feedback at stephen@justout.com. Rock MUSIC MILLENNIUM Women’s Oldies jazz Folk Gospel Cajun Country New Age Bluegrass Soundtracks Musicals Lounge Big Band Comedy Reggae Spoken Word and more... Wine and Cheese Pairing Class Sat., April 5th 1:00pm - 2:00pm The Winegoddess Laurie Lewis will be teaching a.wine and cheese pairing class at Hip Chicks Do Wine. Cost is $30.00 and includes a flight of 7 wines paired with .4-5 cheese. Space is limited, reservations required. Call 503-234-3790 to make a reservation. ............. . .................. . ........ ...................... •• • Winery and Tasting Room Open Daily 11am - 6pm • 4510 SE 23RD AVE. PORTLAND • 5O3-234-379O IJUkiCM • & MILLENNIUM EAST PORTLAND • 32nd & E Burnside St. • 231-8926 • www.hipchicksdowine.com (see our website for directions & events)
