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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 17, 2007)
AUGUST 17, 2007 Monday-Fnday except 12 30-4:30 pm Wednesday 426 SW Stark St.. Sixth Floor 503-988-3700.) SOCIAL Arts b Music ed to building the visibility, community participation and collective leadership of lesbian women of color through Physical Recreation a wide variety of social, networking, consciousness- Adventure Group organizes a variety of activities year raising and action-oriented activities, events and projects (wwwhappyoursproductions com.) round, including hiking, walking, cross-country and down hill skiing, rafting and mountain biking. (PO Box 2201, Portland, OR 97208-2201 wwwadventuregroup org.) Imperial Sovereign Rose Court of Oregon is the oldest Chorus rehearses Sundays at Unitarian Umversalist Congregation of Salem (4-6:30 pm. 5090 Center St. NE gay, lesbian, bi and trans social/fund-raismg organization in the state of Oregon Meetings are the first two Mondays of each month, (www.rosecourt org) Confluence: The Willamette Valley Mixed GALA 503-364-2370 confluence@aolcom www confluence Jewish Gay Men's Group chorus.org. I time and place (503 246-5939 efraimlevi@aol.com.) Creative Connection (formerly Real Connection) is Keshet is a social connection group for queer Jews and their spouses, partners, significant others and good friends, whether Jewish or not. It meets monthly for a social gathering for gay men who are artists, writers or musicians or who pursue some creative activity. Noncommercial, nonjudgmental; supporting personal creativity for novices and professionals alike Monthly potlucks on the second Fnday 17 pm Cart 503-284-2971.) Film discussion group forming for gay, bi and trans men Share your perspective regarding portrayals of sexual Amazon Dragons Paddling Club invites women 16 and older to join Portland s only out lesbian dragon boat team Be part of the fun and fitness with this dynamic group, (wwwamazondragons org.) please call for meeting The Forest Group outings are cooperative adventures for women Participants are responsible for providing their own equipment and choosing outings appropriate for their skill and fitness level All skill levels welcome (503-772-1860 potluck dinners and special events. (David 503-226 7079, ext 14. or Mike 503-331-1111.) Lesbian Garden Club is a group of women who love gardens and gardening. They exchange plants, seeds, | minority men in current films. Monthly activities include advice and encouragement while having a good time Call for a copy of the newsletter and information about group outings to see films. Ifilmtalk@veruon.net.) upcoming events. (Linda 503-909-2002.) Foreign Film Group meets every second and fourth Sunday to screen foreign films at various venues, fol Lesbians with Degrees is a social group that was start ed for degreed women, but no degree is necessary Just come and join the fun! Pool parties, Scrabble and more (Lam 503-233-3557 Join listserv at LesbianswDegrees I lowed by a group discussion. (pdxgayfilmMyahoo com.) Portland Gay Men's Chorus is open to singers, support members and volunteers. 1503-226-2588 wwwpdxgmc.org.) Lulu's Pervy Playhouse is a social group for self identifying women who are into S/M. Play parties are held tor Ray Elliot, strives for musical excellence and making fun-filled harmonies and is open and welcoming to all dykedadiQ icomcast. net www luluspervyplayhouse org) Nonaudition rehearsals for the 2007-2008 season begin Sept 19 at Ainsworth United Church of Christ. Solo and meets second and fourth Thursdays (503-777-1376.) small-group opportunities abound. 16:30-8:30 pm Wednesday 2941 NE Ainsworth St $03-727-3306 portlandlesbianchoir@hotmail com. www. plchoir. org.) Rose City Gay Freedom Band is a performance group 503-224 8446 orleatherfrat@yahoo.com.) levels with annual fall and spring concerts. Subgroups include the Rose City Swing band and a marching band with flag corps. Come join us! 1503-790-2170 Oregon Men Enjoying Naturism is a social organization for gay male naturists/nudists. Social gathering second Saturday of every month. (omenpdx@omenpdx org. info@rcgfb.org wwwrcgfb org.) www omenpdx org.) Satori Men’s Chorus welcomes new members of all ages and races, regardless of sexual onentation or musi men and their significant others, friends, families and cal background, to join Wednesday rehearsals. No audi allies, (groups yahoo.com/group/PDX FTM.) tion necessary. (503-299-4454 www.satorichorus.org.) The gay Pinochle Group meets Sundays at Hobo's. PDX FTM is a social group for female to male trans always welcome. (6 pm 503-641-7224.) Asian & Pacific Islander Lesbians and Gays is a non profit community voice for gay, lesbian and bi Asian and Pacific Islanders. Activities include potlucks, recreation al outings and cultural events. Friendly environment to meet and connect with other API (PO Box 12661, Portland, OR 97232 aplg j)dx@yahoo.com) Bad Girls is a social and educational leather and B/D/S/M club for self-identified women with an empha sis on safety and education. Workshops, discussions, events and parties. Women of all orientations can con nect and ask questions during the Kinky Women's Welcoming Munch at 7 pm every second Tuesday. (503-972-2233 wwwpdxbadgirls net.) Border Riders Motorcycle Club provides social oppor tunities for gay men interested in recreational motorcy cle touring and promotes education on safe and legal machinery. (503-281-4488 brmcprez@yahoo.com.) Cascade Flyers are gay, lesbian and bi aviators, both private and professional, in Washington, Oregon and southern British Columbia. Dinner meetings in Portland area. (503 701 7922. casflyers@yahoo.com www geocities, com/casflyers) A Common Bond is a social support network for former or questioning Jehovah’s Witnesses who are queer. (acbportiand@webtv net.) Coqsure is a social group for people who were assigned a female sex at birth but identify otherwise (female-to male, genderqueer, drag king, etc ). First Sunday meet ings are open to partners and families of any configura tion. (503-471-1515. groups yahoo.com/group/coqsure.) Dungeon Men POX hosts a men’s S/M party every other month in a Portland dungeon. Masters and novices always Poder Latino is a nonprofit social community voice group for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people that reaches Funny Ladies, a social group for nice lesbians 35 and older as well as their friends and loved ones, holds potlucks on the second Saturday of each month. (flataps @yahoo. com.) Gay Men Who Have Lost Their Partners meets at the West Cafe to provide an opportunity for conversation and socializing. The death need not have occurred recently. (7:30 pm second Wednesday Jefferson St 503-701-9376.) 1201 SW Genealogy group forming. Gather with other lesbian researchers to trace your family tree and tackle “bnck- Portland Gay b Lesbian Community Bowling Association is in its 28th season! Meets Sundays at Hollywood Bowl. Drop-ins welcome anytime. (3:30pm 4030 NE Halsey St Mailing address: PO Box 42034, Portland. OR 97242 503 722-0438 pdxbowl@com cast net wwwpdxbowl com.) (7:30-9:30 pm Monday 2231 N Flint Ave pdxgay hoops @yahoo. com) er, Portland Frontrunners welcomes gay, lesbian, bi and trans people of all abilities and interests. (Gary info@port of slow-pitch softball. Regular season games are played throughout the summer at Gordon Faber Recreational Complex in Hillsboro All levels of experience are welcome Portland Leather Alliance is one of the largest pan- sexual, nonprofit B/D/S/M, leather and fetish lifestyle organizations in the Northwest. Regular social and educational opportunities, including KinkFest, Leather Ball and Fall Vendors Fair, (www.pdxleatheralliance org.) Portland Leather Men meet every second Saturday for potluck and socializing. Meet men into a leather lifestyle and keep abreast of leather happenings No dues, no formal organization, no officers or board, just leather socialization for the past 21 years. (360-896 6665 (4450 NW 229th A ve www rosecitysoftball org.) Rosetown Ramblers, Portland's gay and lesbian square dance club, dances at mainstream and plus levels. (PO Box 5352, Portland, OR 97228-5352. wwwrose town ramblers, com.) Ruby Red Flippers, a group of gay and lesbian scuba divers in the Portland area, teaches new recruits and takes dives in Tacoma, Hood Canal and other Pacific Northwest waters, (rubyredfhppers@yahoo.com. www rubyredflippers org.) plm@direcway.com.) Portland Lesbian Book Club gathers monthly to chat about a chosen book or to attend selected events. (6:30 pm third Tuesday, groups yahoo com/group /port landlesbianbookclub) Portland Lesbian Network organizes brewpub visits, golf events, hiking, kayaking, cycling, Scrabble games and movie nights and keeps you aware of what’s going on in the area. (PDXLesbianNetwork-subscribe@ yahoogroups com.) She Rocks, a supportive rock climbing group for lesbians 18 and older, organizes year-round climbing and training events chosen according to skid level. Monthly meetings are held at Bagdad Pub (6:30-7:30 pm second Thursday 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd www.sherocks wetpaint com.) Team Tennis meets Sundays at University of Portland All levels of play welcome First time is free, subsequent times are $7. Please join us! (8am-noon 503-788-8192 teamportlandtennis@yahoo com.) Portland Metro Prime Timers is a social group for mature gay men and those who appreciate them, com ing together for social, educational and cultural purpos es. (PO Box 5884, Portland, OR 97228 503-286-4613 or 360-693-5506. pdxpnmetimers@yahoo.com. www geo YOUTH Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE) is the only international organization specifically support cities, com/pdxpnmetimers) Everyone welcome. (10 am Sunday 1121 SW Stark St. ing young people with sexual minority (colage@lmfamily org. www.colage orgJ Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education parents. Network (GLSEN) strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected, regardless Rose City Discussion Club, the largest open pansexuaV of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. alternative sexuality club in the Northwest, is open to all (12700 SW North Dakota St., Suite 180 ft 129, Tigard, OR 97223. 503-525-1177. glsen@glsenoregon org. orientations, fetishes and lifestyles that are safe, sane and consensual Monthly meetings, workshops and newslet ter. (503-972 1869 rcdcwteleport com www.rcdc.org.) www. glsenoregon org.) Sappho Social Club is a group of women 40 years and House of MOCHA (Men of Color Healthy b Aware) is a group of gay/bi/same-gender-loving men of color older building community through social and cultural between 16 and 25 who want to engage in activities, activities (thesapphosocialclub@yahoo com.) Social OUTings is a social group for all interested in socials and community events among their peers. (Kourtni 503-417-7991 www brotobropdx. org.) meeting people and doing activities other than bar hopping. (kyleinportland@yahoo com.) • Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle exchange Soyboys Vegetarian Men's Group is a fun, social gath ering for gay and bi men who are interested in a healthy services that include those who inject hormones Provide transitional housing for youth 20 and younger and for vegetarian or vegan lifestyle A variety of activities and those HIV-positive and younger than 23 Need volunteers of all ages (10 am-6 pm Monday-Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave 503 535 3800 www outsidein org.) the monthly potlucks on (veggieguys@aol.com.) last Saturday Women of the Rivers, the Portiand/Vancouver chapter of Pride Project brings together Washington County queer the Women on Wheels Motorcycle Club, meets and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social events Also information, referral and advocacy servic wair female ancestors, (famhistnw@aol.com.) monthly at Elmer's, sponsors nding clinics and takes day tnps. (7:15 pm second Thursday 9848 N Whitaker Road Happy Ours Productions is a grassroots group dedicat wwwwomenofthenversorg.) Just Out is published on the first and third Friday of every month The deadline for submissions is 14 days prior to publication OutReach listings of up to 50 words are provided free of charge to organizations and groups specifically serving the sexual minorities community All listings are subject to editing, and inclusion is subject to space limitations, relevance and receipt by dead line listings expire once a year (in Julyl, and submissions run from the date received unt I the next scheduled expiration date listings are automatically deleted upon The L Word It's been 102 days. Where is the love? D ear M s . B ehavior : I’ve been dating Michael for 102 days. We see each other every day, but he has never said that he loves me. Is something wrong with him? I waited until Day 62 to use the “L” word but felt it much earlier. 1 think 102 days is an appropriate time frame in which to get to know someone and be able to express one’s feelings. What do you think are the reasons for Michael’s unwilling ness to say he loves me back? (1 think he does.) —“L” Is for “Larry" Ms. Behavior BY MERYL COHN D ear “L” I s for “L arry ”: There are lots of possible explanations for Michael’s reluctance to proclaim his love. Of course, the most dreadful possibility is that he doesn't actually love you and refuses to pretend he does. But hopefully, the problem you face is smaller; perhaps Michael grew up in a repressed family where no one talks about their feel ings for fear of being spanked or locked in the basement. He might feel pressured by your expectation. Or maybe he is too shy to tell you and is waiting for a moment that feels right. Perhaps each time he’s about to tell you, he’s overcome with anxi ety and nausea and the need to pee. Words are sometimes cheap. Does Michael act like he loves you? Does he treat you with kindness and care and consideration? Does he hold you tight and fall asleep with his lips against your eyelids? Does he make you breakfast and rub your feet and blow you enthusiastically? Those things count more than words. You might feel happier and more secure if Michael could verbally express his love, but perhaps you should give him another 102 days to try. landfrontrunners, org. www portlandfrontrunners, org.) Ave Hugo 503-997-8615 orAudencio 503-261 5463) promote femme visibility and combat femmephobia in group for female-to-male trans men (groups yahoo com/ explores the lakes, rivers and bays of northwest Oregon and southwest Washington (www outkayakmg org.) Join the Rose City Softball Association, Oregon's largest gay sports organization, for open and women's divisions www pdx-rrmc. com.) group/FTMPacificNW) OutKayaking, Portland's gay and lesbian sea kayak group, \ retreats and advocating HIV prevention. Meets every other Monday at Outside In. (6:30 pm 1030 SW 13th F.A.G. PDX (Femme Affinity Group Portland), a radical FTM Pacific NW OR b WA is a social and discussion out dancmg@yahoo. com home.att net/-outdancing) out to Latinos and Latinas by organizing events and activist and social group open to self-identified femmes of all genders, seeks to create solidarity among femmes, 503-288-1870. sutaytig@aol com.) start the first Friday of each month: country, swing, tango, cha-cha, etc. Call for schedule (503-236-5129 Whether you're a running novice or a seasoned marathon Rainriders Motorcycle Club meets weekly at the Roxy. Ride your bike or just come meet the group. 50+ lesbian social group for women meets on the third Saturday of the month (4-7 pm. 503-642-3360 or Out Dancing teaches dancing for same sex couples at Ankeny Street Studio Classes for different dance styles 120 NW Third Ave Mike welcome. (503-281-2076 bighnboy@aracnet.com.) the community at large, (www notsorry.org/fagpdx) Lesbian Equestrian Group gets together for equestrian activities in the Pacific Northwest. (Denise 503 654-3865 Lynn 503-777 2339 kelrav@rdrop.com.) Portland Gay Basketball Association practices at Tubman Middle School. All skill levels welcome! Come play cards and meet the gang. New players General Gay Women's Goff Group welcomes all levels of play ers (wwwturfgirlz.com.) gmail.com www myspace com/netrippers.) Men Over 40 is a small, socially supportive group that for queers and supportive friends of varying musical skill Gay Men s Walking Group invites gay, bi and question ing men to stroll in various neighborhoods around Portland for fun, friendship and exercise (10 am Saturday Tom Net Rippers is a gay men's indoor soccer team that's just starting up in Portland. (bendoverbeckham@ on the second Saturday of the month (503-231-3992 Night in Black Leather and The Leather Duck Club are the first and third Friday of each month at Gail's Dirty Duck Tavern. (9 pm-midmght 439 NW Third Ave www geo 503-984-4549) subscnbe@yahoogroups com.) Portland Lesbian Choir, led by talented artistic direc imnoregon@comcast net cities com/ncc 1127/forestpdx) JUStpUtj33 es in Washington County. (Austin 503-260-5792 austin@prideproiect org.) expiration To ensure uninterrupted listing, please submit updated information at least a month prior to the expiration date Complete listings are available online at www justout.com Send listings to Just Out (attn: Calendar), P0 Box 14400, Portland OR 97293 0400, Fax submissions to 503 236 1257 or e mail justout > justout com Submissions cannot be accepted over the phone Please type your announcement'»and include full contact information D ear M s . B ehavior : A year ago, my dearest childhixxl friend, Maggie, died of a sudden heart attack, leaving her four children, ages 10 to 17. This friend had been by my side during my coming out, as I struggled with my fear of telling family and friends. While she sup ported my relationship and wanted me to be happy, she did not want her husband or young children to know of my relationship with my partner. Now that Maggie is gone, I have direct interaction with her children on a reg ular basis and find this to be a dilemma. I would like them to visit me this summer but do not want to pretend that my partner of nearly 10 years (we live together) is just another close friend. Do I tell the children of my relationship, or do 1 honor my friend’s wishes? If 1 do tell, what is the proper amount of time to wait? Is there an appropriate age at which to tell them? It is hard for me to believe I am to keep her wishes in perpetuity. —Wondering What to Do D ear W ondering W hat to D o : It’s tragic enough that you lost your dear friend, but you were also deprived of the opportunity to work out a crucial aspect of your relationship with her. Sometime, over a cup of tea or a dirty martini, you would have had the chance to tell her you were uncomfortable pretending to be straight for her kids. Maybe she’d have argued, believing she was protecting her children. You’d have explained why being out about your relationship was so important to you, perhaps reminding Maggie that children are not actually damaged by knowing happy lesbian couples. By the end of a couple of well-timed negotiations, Maggie very likely would have come around. Now all you can do is imagine what might have happened if Maggie were still alive, and make your decision based on what feels right. It seems unfair for you to honor Maggie’s wishes forever, when they were based on how she felt during a spe cific moment that’s now frozen in time, without the benefit of further “processing.” There’s no magic formula to determine how long to wait before coming out to Maggie’s kids. Go with your gut about this, praying for courage and trusting that your intuition will guide you to the right time. Remember that telling the truth about your own life is not a betrayal of your friend. (It would be different if you promised, say, to help to keep the children drug-free and now wanted to instruct them to shoot up.) Since her kids span a seven-year age range, you might start by having a discussion with the oldest child or two. It will soon become clear whether it’s the right time to include the younger ones. Hopefully, the kids will notice you're even htpper than they’d realized and will happily embrace your partner as their new auntie (or “uncle”). MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What 1 Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or correspondence to mshehavurr@aol.com.
