AUGUST 17, 2007
Monday-Fnday except 12 30-4:30 pm Wednesday
426 SW Stark St.. Sixth Floor 503-988-3700.)
SOCIAL
Arts b Music
ed to building the visibility, community participation and
collective leadership of lesbian women of color through
Physical Recreation
a wide variety of social, networking, consciousness-
Adventure Group organizes a variety of activities year
raising and action-oriented activities, events and
projects (wwwhappyoursproductions com.)
round, including hiking, walking, cross-country and down
hill skiing, rafting and mountain biking. (PO Box 2201,
Portland, OR 97208-2201 wwwadventuregroup org.)
Imperial Sovereign Rose Court of Oregon is the oldest
Chorus rehearses Sundays at Unitarian Umversalist
Congregation of Salem (4-6:30 pm. 5090 Center St. NE
gay, lesbian, bi and trans social/fund-raismg organization
in the state of Oregon Meetings are the first two
Mondays of each month, (www.rosecourt org)
Confluence: The Willamette Valley Mixed GALA
503-364-2370 confluence@aolcom www confluence
Jewish Gay Men's Group
chorus.org. I
time and place (503 246-5939 efraimlevi@aol.com.)
Creative Connection (formerly Real Connection) is
Keshet is a social connection group for queer Jews and
their spouses, partners, significant others and good
friends, whether Jewish or not. It meets monthly for
a social gathering for gay men who are artists, writers or
musicians or who pursue some creative activity.
Noncommercial, nonjudgmental; supporting personal
creativity for novices and professionals alike Monthly
potlucks on the second Fnday 17 pm Cart 503-284-2971.)
Film discussion group forming for gay, bi and trans men
Share your perspective regarding portrayals of sexual
Amazon Dragons Paddling Club invites women 16 and
older to join Portland s only out lesbian dragon boat
team Be part of the fun and fitness with this dynamic
group, (wwwamazondragons org.)
please call for meeting
The Forest Group outings are cooperative adventures
for women Participants are responsible for providing
their own equipment and choosing outings appropriate
for their skill and fitness level All skill levels welcome
(503-772-1860
potluck
dinners
and
special
events.
(David
503-226 7079, ext 14. or Mike 503-331-1111.)
Lesbian Garden Club is a group of women who love
gardens and gardening. They exchange plants, seeds,
|
minority men in current films. Monthly activities include
advice and encouragement while having a good time
Call for a copy of the newsletter and information about
group outings to see films. Ifilmtalk@veruon.net.)
upcoming events. (Linda 503-909-2002.)
Foreign Film Group meets every second and fourth
Sunday to screen foreign films at various venues, fol
Lesbians with Degrees is a social group that was start
ed for degreed women, but no degree is necessary Just
come and join the fun! Pool parties, Scrabble and more
(Lam 503-233-3557 Join listserv at LesbianswDegrees I
lowed by a group discussion. (pdxgayfilmMyahoo com.)
Portland Gay Men's Chorus is open to singers,
support members and volunteers. 1503-226-2588
wwwpdxgmc.org.)
Lulu's Pervy Playhouse is a social group for self
identifying women who are into S/M. Play parties are held
tor Ray Elliot, strives for musical excellence and making
fun-filled harmonies and is open and welcoming to all
dykedadiQ icomcast. net www luluspervyplayhouse org)
Nonaudition rehearsals for the 2007-2008 season begin
Sept 19 at Ainsworth United Church of Christ. Solo and
meets second and fourth Thursdays (503-777-1376.)
small-group opportunities abound. 16:30-8:30 pm
Wednesday 2941 NE Ainsworth St $03-727-3306
portlandlesbianchoir@hotmail com. www. plchoir. org.)
Rose City Gay Freedom Band is a performance group
503-224 8446 orleatherfrat@yahoo.com.)
levels with annual fall and spring concerts. Subgroups
include the Rose City Swing band and a marching band
with
flag
corps.
Come
join
us!
1503-790-2170
Oregon Men Enjoying Naturism is a social organization
for gay male naturists/nudists. Social gathering second
Saturday of every month. (omenpdx@omenpdx org.
info@rcgfb.org wwwrcgfb org.)
www omenpdx org.)
Satori Men’s Chorus welcomes new members of all
ages and races, regardless of sexual onentation or musi
men and their significant others, friends, families and
cal background, to join Wednesday rehearsals. No audi
allies, (groups yahoo.com/group/PDX FTM.)
tion necessary. (503-299-4454 www.satorichorus.org.)
The gay Pinochle Group meets Sundays at Hobo's.
PDX FTM is a social group for female to male trans
always welcome. (6 pm
503-641-7224.)
Asian & Pacific Islander Lesbians and Gays is a non
profit community voice for gay, lesbian and bi Asian and
Pacific Islanders. Activities include potlucks, recreation
al outings and cultural events. Friendly environment to
meet and connect with other API (PO Box 12661,
Portland, OR 97232 aplg j)dx@yahoo.com)
Bad Girls is a social and educational leather and
B/D/S/M club for self-identified women with an empha
sis on safety and education. Workshops, discussions,
events and parties. Women of all orientations can con
nect and ask questions during the Kinky Women's
Welcoming Munch at 7 pm every second Tuesday.
(503-972-2233 wwwpdxbadgirls net.)
Border Riders Motorcycle Club provides social oppor
tunities for gay men interested in recreational motorcy
cle touring and promotes education on safe and legal
machinery. (503-281-4488 brmcprez@yahoo.com.)
Cascade Flyers are gay, lesbian and bi aviators, both
private and professional, in Washington, Oregon and
southern British Columbia. Dinner meetings in Portland
area.
(503 701 7922.
casflyers@yahoo.com
www geocities, com/casflyers)
A Common Bond is a social support network for former
or questioning Jehovah’s Witnesses who are queer.
(acbportiand@webtv net.)
Coqsure is a social group for people who were assigned
a female sex at birth but identify otherwise (female-to
male, genderqueer, drag king, etc ). First Sunday meet
ings are open to partners and families of any configura
tion. (503-471-1515. groups yahoo.com/group/coqsure.)
Dungeon Men POX hosts a men’s S/M party every other
month in a Portland dungeon. Masters and novices always
Poder Latino is a nonprofit social community voice
group for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people that reaches
Funny Ladies, a social group for nice lesbians 35 and
older as well as their friends and loved ones, holds
potlucks on the second Saturday of each month.
(flataps @yahoo. com.)
Gay Men Who Have Lost Their Partners meets at the
West Cafe to provide an opportunity for conversation
and socializing. The death need not have occurred
recently. (7:30 pm second Wednesday
Jefferson St 503-701-9376.)
1201 SW
Genealogy group forming. Gather with other lesbian
researchers to trace your family tree and tackle “bnck-
Portland Gay b Lesbian Community Bowling
Association is in its 28th season! Meets Sundays at
Hollywood Bowl. Drop-ins welcome anytime. (3:30pm
4030 NE Halsey St Mailing address: PO Box 42034,
Portland. OR 97242 503 722-0438 pdxbowl@com
cast net wwwpdxbowl com.)
(7:30-9:30 pm Monday 2231 N Flint Ave pdxgay
hoops @yahoo. com)
er, Portland Frontrunners welcomes gay, lesbian, bi and
trans people of all abilities and interests. (Gary info@port
of slow-pitch softball. Regular season games are played
throughout the summer at Gordon Faber Recreational
Complex in Hillsboro All levels of experience are welcome
Portland Leather Alliance is one of the largest pan-
sexual, nonprofit B/D/S/M, leather and fetish lifestyle
organizations in the Northwest. Regular social and
educational opportunities, including KinkFest, Leather
Ball and Fall Vendors Fair, (www.pdxleatheralliance org.)
Portland Leather Men meet every second Saturday for
potluck and socializing. Meet men into a leather lifestyle
and keep abreast of leather happenings No dues, no
formal organization, no officers or board, just leather
socialization for the past 21 years. (360-896 6665
(4450 NW 229th A ve www rosecitysoftball org.)
Rosetown Ramblers, Portland's gay and lesbian square
dance club, dances at mainstream and plus levels.
(PO Box 5352, Portland, OR 97228-5352. wwwrose
town ramblers, com.)
Ruby Red Flippers, a group of gay and lesbian scuba
divers in the Portland area, teaches new recruits and
takes dives in Tacoma, Hood Canal and other Pacific
Northwest
waters,
(rubyredfhppers@yahoo.com.
www rubyredflippers org.)
plm@direcway.com.)
Portland Lesbian Book Club gathers monthly to chat
about a chosen book or to attend selected events.
(6:30 pm third Tuesday, groups yahoo com/group /port
landlesbianbookclub)
Portland Lesbian Network organizes brewpub visits,
golf events, hiking, kayaking, cycling, Scrabble games
and movie nights and keeps you aware of what’s going
on in the area. (PDXLesbianNetwork-subscribe@
yahoogroups com.)
She Rocks, a supportive rock climbing group for lesbians
18 and older, organizes year-round climbing and training
events chosen according to skid level. Monthly meetings
are held at Bagdad Pub (6:30-7:30 pm second Thursday
3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd www.sherocks wetpaint com.)
Team Tennis meets Sundays at University of Portland
All levels of play welcome First time is free, subsequent
times are $7. Please join us! (8am-noon 503-788-8192
teamportlandtennis@yahoo com.)
Portland Metro Prime Timers is a social group for
mature gay men and those who appreciate them, com
ing together for social, educational and cultural purpos
es. (PO Box 5884, Portland, OR 97228 503-286-4613 or
360-693-5506. pdxpnmetimers@yahoo.com. www geo
YOUTH
Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE)
is the only international organization specifically support
cities, com/pdxpnmetimers)
Everyone welcome. (10 am Sunday 1121 SW Stark St.
ing young people with sexual minority
(colage@lmfamily org. www.colage orgJ
Gay,
Lesbian
and
Straight
Education
parents.
Network
(GLSEN) strives to assure that each member of every
school community is valued and respected, regardless
Rose City Discussion Club, the largest open pansexuaV
of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.
alternative sexuality club in the Northwest, is open to all
(12700 SW North Dakota St., Suite 180 ft 129, Tigard,
OR 97223. 503-525-1177. glsen@glsenoregon org.
orientations, fetishes and lifestyles that are safe, sane and
consensual Monthly meetings, workshops and newslet
ter. (503-972 1869 rcdcwteleport com www.rcdc.org.)
www. glsenoregon org.)
Sappho Social Club is a group of women 40 years and
House of MOCHA (Men of Color Healthy b Aware) is
a group of gay/bi/same-gender-loving men of color
older building community through social and cultural
between 16 and 25 who want to engage in activities,
activities (thesapphosocialclub@yahoo com.)
Social OUTings is a social group for all interested in
socials and community events among their peers.
(Kourtni 503-417-7991 www brotobropdx. org.)
meeting people and doing activities other than bar
hopping. (kyleinportland@yahoo com.) •
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't qualify
for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle exchange
Soyboys Vegetarian Men's Group is a fun, social gath
ering for gay and bi men who are interested in a healthy
services that include those who inject hormones Provide
transitional housing for youth 20 and younger and for
vegetarian or vegan lifestyle A variety of activities and
those HIV-positive and younger than 23 Need volunteers
of all ages (10 am-6 pm Monday-Friday 1132 SW 13th
Ave 503 535 3800 www outsidein org.)
the
monthly
potlucks
on
(veggieguys@aol.com.)
last
Saturday
Women of the Rivers, the Portiand/Vancouver chapter of
Pride Project brings together Washington County queer
the Women on Wheels Motorcycle Club, meets
and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social
events Also information, referral and advocacy servic
wair female ancestors, (famhistnw@aol.com.)
monthly at Elmer's, sponsors nding clinics and takes day
tnps. (7:15 pm second Thursday 9848 N Whitaker Road
Happy Ours Productions is a grassroots group dedicat
wwwwomenofthenversorg.)
Just Out is published on the first and third Friday of every month The deadline for
submissions is 14 days prior to publication
OutReach listings of up to 50 words are provided free of charge to organizations and
groups specifically serving the sexual minorities community All listings are subject
to editing, and inclusion is subject to space limitations, relevance and receipt by dead
line
listings expire once a year (in Julyl, and submissions run from the date received
unt I the next scheduled expiration date listings are automatically deleted upon
The L Word
It's been 102 days. Where is the love?
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I’ve been dating Michael for 102 days. We
see each other every day, but he has never said
that he loves me. Is something wrong with
him? I waited until Day 62 to use the “L” word
but felt it much earlier.
1 think 102 days is an appropriate time
frame in which to get to know someone and be
able to express one’s feelings. What do you
think are the reasons for Michael’s unwilling
ness to say he loves me back? (1 think he does.)
—“L” Is for “Larry"
Ms. Behavior
BY MERYL COHN
D ear “L” I s
for
“L arry ”:
There are lots of possible explanations for Michael’s reluctance to proclaim his
love. Of course, the most dreadful possibility is that he doesn't actually love you
and refuses to pretend he does. But hopefully, the problem you face is smaller;
perhaps Michael grew up in a repressed family where no one talks about their feel
ings for fear of being spanked or locked in the basement. He might feel pressured
by your expectation. Or maybe he is too shy to tell you and is waiting for a moment
that feels right. Perhaps each time he’s about to tell you, he’s overcome with anxi
ety and nausea and the need to pee.
Words are sometimes cheap. Does Michael act like he loves you? Does he treat
you with kindness and care and consideration? Does he hold you tight and fall
asleep with his lips against your eyelids? Does he make you breakfast and rub your
feet and blow you enthusiastically? Those things count more than words. You might
feel happier and more secure if Michael could verbally express his love, but perhaps
you should give him another 102 days to try.
landfrontrunners, org. www portlandfrontrunners, org.)
Ave Hugo 503-997-8615 orAudencio 503-261 5463)
promote femme visibility and combat femmephobia in
group for female-to-male trans men (groups yahoo com/
explores the lakes, rivers and bays of northwest Oregon
and southwest Washington (www outkayakmg org.)
Join the Rose City Softball Association, Oregon's largest
gay sports organization, for open and women's divisions
www pdx-rrmc. com.)
group/FTMPacificNW)
OutKayaking, Portland's gay and lesbian sea kayak group,
\
retreats and advocating HIV prevention. Meets every
other Monday at Outside In. (6:30 pm 1030 SW 13th
F.A.G. PDX (Femme Affinity Group Portland), a radical
FTM Pacific NW OR b WA is a social and discussion
out dancmg@yahoo. com home.att net/-outdancing)
out to Latinos and Latinas by organizing events and
activist and social group open to self-identified femmes
of all genders, seeks to create solidarity among femmes,
503-288-1870. sutaytig@aol com.)
start the first Friday of each month: country, swing,
tango, cha-cha, etc. Call for schedule (503-236-5129
Whether you're a running novice or a seasoned marathon
Rainriders Motorcycle Club meets weekly at the
Roxy. Ride your bike or just come meet the group.
50+ lesbian social group for women meets on the
third Saturday of the month (4-7 pm. 503-642-3360 or
Out Dancing teaches dancing for same sex couples at
Ankeny Street Studio Classes for different dance styles
120 NW Third Ave Mike
welcome. (503-281-2076 bighnboy@aracnet.com.)
the community at large, (www notsorry.org/fagpdx)
Lesbian Equestrian Group gets together for equestrian
activities
in
the
Pacific
Northwest.
(Denise
503 654-3865 Lynn 503-777 2339 kelrav@rdrop.com.)
Portland Gay Basketball Association practices at
Tubman Middle School. All skill levels welcome!
Come play cards and meet the gang. New players
General
Gay Women's Goff Group welcomes all levels of play
ers (wwwturfgirlz.com.)
gmail.com www myspace com/netrippers.)
Men Over 40 is a small, socially supportive group that
for queers and supportive friends of varying musical skill
Gay Men s Walking Group invites gay, bi and question
ing men to stroll in various neighborhoods around Portland
for fun, friendship and exercise (10 am Saturday Tom
Net Rippers is a gay men's indoor soccer team that's
just starting up in Portland. (bendoverbeckham@
on the second Saturday of the month (503-231-3992
Night in Black Leather and The Leather Duck Club are
the first and third Friday of each month at Gail's Dirty
Duck Tavern. (9 pm-midmght 439 NW Third Ave
www geo
503-984-4549)
subscnbe@yahoogroups com.)
Portland Lesbian Choir, led by talented artistic direc
imnoregon@comcast net
cities com/ncc 1127/forestpdx)
JUStpUtj33
es in Washington County. (Austin 503-260-5792
austin@prideproiect org.)
expiration To ensure uninterrupted listing, please submit updated information at
least a month prior to the expiration date Complete listings are available online at
www justout.com
Send listings to Just Out (attn: Calendar), P0 Box 14400, Portland OR 97293 0400,
Fax submissions to 503 236 1257 or e mail justout > justout com Submissions
cannot be accepted over the phone
Please type your announcement'»and include full contact information
D ear M s . B ehavior :
A year ago, my dearest childhixxl friend, Maggie, died of a sudden heart attack,
leaving her four children, ages 10 to 17. This friend had been by my side during my
coming out, as I struggled with my fear of telling family and friends. While she sup
ported my relationship and wanted me to be happy, she did not want her husband
or young children to know of my relationship with my partner.
Now that Maggie is gone, I have direct interaction with her children on a reg
ular basis and find this to be a dilemma. I would like them to visit me this summer
but do not want to pretend that my partner of nearly 10 years (we live together) is
just another close friend.
Do I tell the children of my relationship, or do 1 honor my friend’s wishes? If 1 do
tell, what is the proper amount of time to wait? Is there an appropriate age at which
to tell them? It is hard for me to believe I am to keep her wishes in perpetuity.
—Wondering What to Do
D ear W ondering W hat to D o :
It’s tragic enough that you lost your dear friend, but you were also deprived of
the opportunity to work out a crucial aspect of your relationship with her.
Sometime, over a cup of tea or a dirty martini, you would have had the chance to
tell her you were uncomfortable pretending to be straight for her kids. Maybe she’d
have argued, believing she was protecting her children. You’d have explained why
being out about your relationship was so important to you, perhaps reminding
Maggie that children are not actually damaged by knowing happy lesbian couples.
By the end of a couple of well-timed negotiations, Maggie very likely would have
come around.
Now all you can do is imagine what might have happened if Maggie were still
alive, and make your decision based on what feels right. It seems unfair for you to
honor Maggie’s wishes forever, when they were based on how she felt during a spe
cific moment that’s now frozen in time, without the benefit of further “processing.”
There’s no magic formula to determine how long to wait before coming out to
Maggie’s kids. Go with your gut about this, praying for courage and trusting that
your intuition will guide you to the right time. Remember that telling the truth
about your own life is not a betrayal of your friend. (It would be different if you
promised, say, to help to keep the children drug-free and now wanted to instruct
them to shoot up.) Since her kids span a seven-year age range, you might start by
having a discussion with the oldest child or two. It will soon become clear whether
it’s the right time to include the younger ones.
Hopefully, the kids will notice you're even htpper than they’d realized and will
happily embrace your partner as their new auntie (or “uncle”).
MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What 1 Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and
Lesbian Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions
or correspondence to mshehavurr@aol.com.