Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (June 15, 2007)
IE 15 2007 lUSt OUt eatinejout t could he a time of life or time of year thing, hut hahies are suddenly everywhere! 1 became an aunt at age 10 and feel I’ve been ready to have my own kids ever since. But it was only in rhe past couple of years that 1 began embar rassing myself in public over them. I was recently out at dinner making eyes with this adorable infant in a highchair, who happened to be sitting just beyond the left shoulder of a woman I’m pretty sure thought I was hitting on her. I find myself playing impromptu hide-and-seek with toddlers while their parents are busy being adults having conversations with other adults. In other words, my baby fever is spiking. I first began preparing for the preparation of becoming a parent by attending a Portland seminar for prospective queer parents called “Maybe Baby" last fall. While I’ve known since puberty that I want to physically birth a child (I do not have these cramps for nothing!), I was happy to learn about the variety of ways queers can add children into our lives. In her one-day workshop, lawyer and social worker Lauren Mac Neill did a fantastic job of calmly relaying statistics and resources to an excitable crowd of expectant queer couples. My cultural tradition tells me that someone will always be trying to hurt, take advantage of or insult eatincjout eatingout eati out ■ Al ’S World Cuisine and Supper Club I PORTLAND S EASTSIDE DINING & SPIRITS NEW OWNERSHIP, NEWLY RENOVATED, NEWLY EXPANDED MENU Dance to live Cabaret-Style Performances Friday and Saturday Nights 6:30 to 9:30pm BREAKFAST BUFFET All you can eat Saturday and Sunday 8:30am til 3pm $6.95 ‘6.95 LUNCH BUFFET Monday Friday ’7.95 DINNER BUFFET Monday-Thursday 503 285 9489 • www.dadsdining.com 8608 N Lombard in Historic St. Johns So this spring the wife and 1 visited some friends in California to pop the big question. “Do you want to help us start a family?" we asked. Blank stares spoke volumes about how vague that question was. “Can we have your sperm?” got to the crux of the matter. Immediately, the woman in the couple answered with a spirited “Yes!" The man, the one with the goods to give, was a tad more taciturn. I tend to talk nervously to fill silences, so I rambled about all the reasons we chose to ask them. The woman and I were roommates when we started dating our significant others. We all became so close through the years that the wife and I asked the couple to officiate at our commitment ceremony. By M g aR'l|U | rhe time I saw the welling of tears in the man’s eyes, 1 knew we were golden. But months later, when we hadn’t heard back from them about their final decision, we began to fear the worst. We started preconception sessions with a midwife to best understand our insemination options should we have to go with an unknown donor. We found out two key things. First, chances of conception are much higher using fresh sperm. Second, inseminating within the state is the only way to guar antee protection under Oregon law, which explicitly removes a donor’s legaW relationship to a child conceived via * donor insemination. What to do? Even if our friends agreed to the plan, we can’t afford to fly them out each month. And 1 sure as hell don’t want to pay for frozen sperm when it takes an average of seven attempts to get pregnant. Our focus turned briefly to our local male friends, of which we have few. Some are married and planning to have kids of their own; some are tube-tied, which adds complexity to an already challenging venture; and some are flat out not interested. As 1 watch my best friend go through the baby process, 1 sometimes think, “What the hell am 1 doing?” and other times think, “When is it going to be me?” , In my right mind, I know my day is coming—at least my day to start physically trying to get preg- Staff Writer M alka GEFFEN has plenty of room in her head. Fill it by e-mailing malka@justout.com. WONDERING WHAT TO DO AFTER DINNER? 3560 N Mississippi Ave Portland, OR 97227 503-445-6690 For daily event specials visit BlogOUT at www.justout.com www.muddyscoffeehouse.com Nostrana Restaurant of the "Year 2006 — (Oregonian We love diversity I I I I I I nant. And I know that we will get “the stuff" one 1 way or another. Until then, I can take vitamins, I gixxl care of my hxly anil comfort in the fact that I rhe wife anil I are going to be kick-ass moms. Come for the coffee, • Stay for the breakfast, Leave when the mimosa glass is empty. □o’s Hawaiian ¿AFE
