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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (June 1, 2007)
JUNE 1, 2007 justput« Creative Connection (formerly Real Connection) is Imperial Sovereign Rose Court of Oregon is the old a social gathering for gay men who are artists, wnters est gay, lesbian, bi and trans social/tund-raising organ ization in the state of Oregon Meetings are the first or musicians or who pursue some creative activity Noncommercial, nonjudgmental, supporting personal creativity for novices and professionals alike Monthly potlucks on the second Friday /7 pm Carl 503-2B4-2971.) two Mondays of each month, (www.rosecourt.org.) Jewish Gay Men's Group—please call for meeting time and place. (503-246-5939 efraimlevi@aolcom.) year round, including hiking, walking, cross country and downhill skiing, rafting and mountain biking. (PO Box 2201, Portland, OR 97208 2201 www adventuregroup. org.) Film discussion group forming for gay, bi and trans men. Share your perspective regarding portrayals of sexual minority men in current films activities include group outings to (filmtalk@verizon net. I Monthly see films. Foreign Film Group meets every second and fourth Sunday to screen foreign films at vanous venues, fol Keshet is a social connection group for queer Jews and their spouses, partners, significant others and good friends, whether Jewish or not It meets month ly for potluck dinners and special events (David Lesbian Garden Club is a group of women who love gardens and gardening. They exchange plants, seeds, advice and encouragement while having a good time. Call for a copy of the newsletter and information about Portland Gay Men's Chorus is open to singers, upcoming events (Unda 503-909-2002) support members and volunteers. 1503-226-2588 www.pdxgmc.org) Portland Lesbian Choe is an informal, nonaudition com munity chorus for women of all ages to sing, socialize and share songs, melodies and talents Directed by Ray Elliot, a talented and expenenced leader New members welcome to rehearsals at Ainsworth United Church of Chnst on an open enrollment through fall 2006. (6:30-8:30 pm Wednesday 2941 NE Ainsworth St portlandlesbianchoir@hotmailcom wwwplchoirorgl R om City Gay Freedom Band is a performance group for queers and supportive friends of varying musical Amazon Dragons Paddling Club invites women 16 and older to join Portland's only out lesbian dragon boat team Be part of the fun and fitness with this The Forest Group outings are cooperative adventures for women. Participants are responsible for providing their own equipment and choosing outings appropn- ate for their skill and fitness level. All skill levels welcome. (503-772-1860 imnoregon@comcait net www geocities. com/ncc 1127/forestpdx) Lesbians with Degrees is a social group that was started for degreed women, but no degree is neces Gay Men’s Walking Group invites gay, bi and ques sary. Just come and join the fun! Pool parties, Scrabble and more. (Lam 503-233-3557 Join listserv Honing men to stroll in vanous neighborhoods around Portland for fun, friendship and exercise. (10 am at LesbianswDegrees-subscnbe@yahoogroups.com.) Lulu's Pervy Playhouse is a social group for self identifying women who are into S/M Play parties are Saturday Tom 503-984-4549.) Gay Women's Golf Group welcomes all levels of play ers. (wwwturfgirizcom.) held on the second Saturday of the month. (503-231-3992. dykedadi@comcast net www. lulus Lesbian Equestrian Group gets together for equestnan activities in the Pacific Northwest (Denise pervyplayhouse org) 503-654-3865 Lyrm 503-777-2339 ketrav@nirop.com.) Men Over 40 is a small, socially supportive group that meets second and fourth Thursdays. (503-777-1376.) Net Rippers is a gay men's indoor soccer team. (bendovertteckham@gmail.com. wwwmyspace.com/ Night in Black Leather and The Leather Duck Club ne trippers) skill levels with annual fall and spring concerts. Subgroups include the Rose City Swing band and a are the first and third Fnday of each month at Gail s Out Dancing teaches dancing for same-sex couples at marching band with flag corps. Come join us! Dirty Duck Tavern. (9 pm-midmght 439 NW Third Ave. 1503-790-2170. info@rcgfb.org wwwrcgfb.org.) 503-224-8446 orleatberfrat@yahoo.com.) Ankeny Street Studio Classes for different dance styles start the first Fnday of each month: country, swing, Satori Men s Chorus welcomes new members of all Oregon Men Envying Naturism is a social organization tango, cha-cha, etc. Call for schedule (503-236-5129 ages and races, regardless of sexual orientation or musi cal background, to join Wednesday rehearsals. No audi for gay male natunstVnudists Social gathenng second out dandng@yahoo com home att.net/- outdancing) tion necessary (503 299-4454 wwwsatonchorusorg) wwwomenpdx.org) (omenpdx@omenpdx org Saturday of every month PDX FTM is a social group for female-to-male trans men and their significant others, friends, families and General Asian b Pacific Islander Lesbians and Gays is a non profit community' voice for gay, lesbian and bi Asian and Pacific Islanders. Activities include potlucks, recreation al outings and cultural events. Fnendly environment to meet and connect with other API. (PO Box 12661, Portland, OR 97232. aplg pdx@yahoo.com) Bad Giris is a social and educational leather and B/D/S/M club for self-identified women with an emphasis on safety and education. Workshops, discussions, events and parties. Women of all onenta- tions can connect and ask questions dunng the Kinky Women's Welcoming Munch at 7 pm every second Tuesday. (503-972-2233 www.pdxbadgirls.net.) Border Riders Motorcycle Club provides social oppor tunities for gay men interested in recreational motorcy cle tounng and promotes education on safe and legal machinery. (503-281-4488. br.ncprez@yahoo.com.) Cascade Flyers are gay, lesbian and bi aviators, both private and professional, in Washington, Oregon and southern British Columbia. Dinner meetings in Portland area. (503-701-7922 casflyers@yahoo.com. www geocities com/casflyers.) A Common Bond is a social support network for former or questioning Jehovah’s Witnesses who are Portland Association is in its 28th season! Meets Sundays at Hollywood Bowl. Drop-ins welcome anytime (3:30 pm. Come play cards and meet the gang New players 120 NW Third Ave Mike 503-641-7224.) group for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people that reach es out to Latinos and Latinas by organizing events and retreats and advocating HIV prevention. Meets every other Monday at Outside In. (6:30 pm. 1030 SW 13th Ave Hugo 503 997-8615 orAudencio 503-261-5463.) Portland Leather Alliance is one of the largest pan- nonprofit B/D/S/M. leather and fetish lifestyle organizations in the Northwest. Regular social and educational opportunities, including KinkFest, Leather Ball and Fall Vendors Fair. Portland Leather Mon meet every second Saturday for potluck and socializing Meet men into a leather lifestyle and keep abreast of leather happenings. No dues, no formal organization, no officers or board, just leather for socialization past the 21 years marathoner, Portland Frontrunners welcomes gay, lesbian, bi and trans people of all abilities and interests. (Gary info@portlandfrontrunnersorg www portlandfrontrunners org) Join the R om City Softball Association. Oregon's largest gay sports organization, for open and women's divisions of slow-prtch softball. Regular season games are played throughout the summer at Gordon Faber Recreational Complex in Hillsboro. All levels of expen- are welcome. (4450 NW 229th Ave. square dance club, dances at mainstream and plus levels (PO Box 5352. Portland, OR 97228-5352 www rosetownramblers com) All levels of play welcome. First time is free, subse quent times are $7. Please join usl (8 am-noon. 503-788-8192 teamportlandtennis@yahoocom.) YOUTH its, golf events, hiking, kayaking, cycling, Scrabble Children games and movie nights and keeps you aware of what's going on in the area. (PDXLesbianNetwork (COLAGE) is the only international organization specif subscribe@yahoogroupscom.) parents (colage@lmfamilyorg wwwcolageorg) Portland Metro Prime Timers is a social group for Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network mature gay men and those who appreciate them, com ing together for social, educational and cultural purpos (GLSEN) strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected, regardless F.A.G. PDX (Femme Affinity Group Portland), a radical es. (PO Box 5884, Portland, OR 97228. 503 286-4613 or 360-693-5506 pdxprimetimers@yahoo.com of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere ically supporting young people with sexual minority of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. (12700 SW North Dakota St . Suite 180 ft 129, Tigard. www geocities com/pdxpnmetimers) OR 97223 503-525-1177 glsen@glsenoregon org Rainriders Motorcycle Club meets weekly at the wwwglsenoregon org.) Roxy. Ride your bike or just come meet the group House of MOCHA (Men of Color Healthy b Aware) 50+ lesbian social group for women meets on the Everyone welcome (10 am Sunday 1121 SW Stark St. is a group of gay/bi/same-gender-loving men of color third Saturday of the month (4-7 pm 503-642 3360 or www.pdx-rrmc com.) between 16 and 25 who want to engage in activities, socials and community events among their peers 503-288-1870 sutaytig@aol.com.) Rose City Discussion Club, the largest open FTM Pacific NW OR b WA is a social and discussion pansexual/altemative sexuality club in the Northwest, (Kourtni 503-417-7991 wwwbrotobropdx org.) group for female-to-male trans men. (groups yahoo com/group/FTM PacificNW) is open to all onentations, fetishes and lifestyles that are safe, sane and consensual. Monthly meetings, Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can t qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle Funny Ladies, a social group for nice lesbians 35 and older as well as their fnends and loved ones, holds workshops and newsletter (503-972-1869 rcdc@ teleport com www rcdc org.) exchange services that include those who inject hormones Provide transitional housing for youth 20 potlucks on the second Saturday of each month (flataps Sappho Social Club is a group of women 40 years @yahoo com.) and older building community through social and cul Gay Men Who Have Lost Their Partners meets at tural activities. (thesapphosocialclub@yahoo com ) the West Cafe to provide an opportunity for conversa Social OUTings is a social group for all interested in tion and socializing. The death need not have occurred 1201 SW meeting people and doing activities other than bar hopping (kyleinportiand@yahoo com) Genealogy group forming Gather with other lesbian gathering for gay and bi men who are interested in researchers to trace your family tree and tackle "back- a healthy vegetarian or vegan lifestyle A variety of activities and monthly potlucks on the last Saturday recently (7:30 pm second Wednesday Jefferson St. 503-701-9376) wall” female ancestors. (famhistnw@aol com.) Happy Ours Productions is a grassroots group dedicat I was dating a young man named Alan for about a year. He was approximately 16 years younger than I am and just embarking on his life as an adult. He was wise, witty and charming. The problem came with his mother, who he wished to include in nearly every event, holiday, din ner out or drive to the beach. He kept saying he “really” wanted me to love his mother. She was fine. Alan, on the other hand, was clingy. Ultimately, we parted ways, but he has insisted that he wishes to be friends. We have attempted to do so, but I find him to be incredibly hostile toward me now. This is puzzling, as our parting was amicable, and I thought becoming friends would be a no-brainer. Can you shed any light? Do I have to put up with hostility to be this young man’s friend? Is there some way to reason him out of it? —Mr. J D ear M r . J: Alan wanted you to love his mother because he hadn’t yet broken away from her. Since he missed out on an important developmental stage—separation and individua tion—Mommy is still very primary in his life. Normally, adolescents go through this stage (which is when their parents become morons who don’t know anything) and rebel and act out. Unfortunately, as a teenager, Alan probably remained loving and couldn’t under stand why his friends thought their parents sucked. Ultimately, his attempt to skip over this crucial step means that he still doesn’t know how to separate successfully. So it makes sense that breaking away from you involves a lot of hostility. He’s still practicing for splitting from his mother. It might help you to know that it’s not personal. You can’t reason with him; you might just have to take a step back from your friendship until he grows up a bit. What’s the take-home message for you? You’ll probably find that you’re more likely to have a successful relationship with someone a little closer to your own age, Daddy. Rosetown Ramblers, Portland's gay and lesbian Portland Lesbian Book Club gathers monthly to chat activist and social group open to self-identified femmes of all genders, seeks to create solidarity among femmes, the community at large (wwwnotsorryorg/fagpdx ) Whether you're a running novice or a seasoned Team Tennis meets Sundays at University of Portland. Portland Lesbian Network organizes brewpub vis promote femme visibility and combat femmephobia in Bowling (360-896-6665 plm@direcway com.) a female sex at birth but identify otherwise (female-to male, genderqueer, drag king, etc.). First Sunday meet novices always welcome (503 281-2076 bighnboy@ D ear M s . B ehavior : www rosecitysoftball org.) portlandlesbianbookclub I aracnet.com.) Community 4030 NE Halsey St. Mailing address PO Box 42034, Portland, OR 97242 503 722-0438 pdxbowl@ ence (www pdxleatheralliance org) Coqsure is a social group for people who were assigned other month in a Portland dungeon. Masters and Lesbian Comcast net www pdxbowl com) queer. (acbportland@webtv net.) Dungeon Men PDX hosts a men's S/M party every b Gay Poder Latino is a nonprofit social community voice about a chosen book or to attend selected events. (6:30 pm third Tuesday groups.yahoo.com/group/ ings are open to partners and families of any configura tion. (503-471-1515. groups yahoo com/group/coqsure.) (www. outkayaking. org.) The gay Pinochle Group meets Sundays at Hobo's. sexual, Clingy boyfriend missed out on a key stage in development OutKayaking. Portland's gay and lesbian sea kayak group, explores the lakes, nvers and bays of northwest Oregon and southwest Washington. allies. (groups.yahoocom/group/PDXFTM) always welcome 16 pm Mommie Dearest dynamic group, (www amazondragons org.) 503-226-7079, ext 14, or Mike 503-331-1111.) lowed by a group discussion Ipdxgayfilmtivyahoo com.) 503-727-3306. Physical Recreation Adventure Group organizes a variety of activities Soyboys Vegetarian Men’s Group is a fun, social Iveggieguys @aol. com.) and younger and for those HIV-positive and younger than 23 Need volunteers of all ages (10 am-6 pm Monday-Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave 503-535-3800 www outsidein org) Pride Project brings together Washington County queer and questioning youth to plan and attend month ly social events Also information, referral and advoca cy services in Washington County. 503-260-5792 austin@pndepn>iect org) (Austin Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center (SMYRC) offers support, recreation, counseling and referral to gay, lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger Drop- ed to building the visibility, community participation and collective leadership of lesbian women of color through Women of the Rivers, the Portland/Vancouver chapter of the Women on Wheels Motorcycle Club, meets in computer access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out. Weekly trans, leadership and art a wide variety of social, networking, consciousness raising and action-onented activities, events and monthly at Elmer's, sponsors riding clinics and takes day tnps. (7:15 pm second Thursday 9848 N Whitaker support group meetings (4-9 pm Wednesday, 4-11 pm Friday 2100 SE Belmont St. 503-872-9664 projects (www happyoursproductions com) Road www womenofthenvers org.) www smyrc org I Just Out is published on the first and third Friday of every month The deadline for submissions is 14 days poor to publication OutReach listings of up to 50 words are provided free of charge to organizations and groups spec if really serving the sexual minor tes community All listings are subject to edding and inclusion -s subject to space 1 m tat ons relevance and receipt by deadline until the next sc heduled exp rat-on date I sl ogs are automata ally deieti'O u| expiration To ensure uninterrupted listing please submit updated information al least a month poor to the expiration date Complete listings are available online at www mstout com Send bst ngs to Just Out Gitin Calendar) P0 Box 14400 Portland OH 97293 0400 sitbrmss ons to 503 236 125 7 o.r ma.l (uslout |ustoid com Subm ss pus cannot be ar cepted Oyer th»' phone Pie ls* tyj)*. your anneuur ements and ndudr full r rint.K 1 fiformal on D ear M s . B ehavior : “Suzie” is my longtime friend; we’ve always been close and confided in each other. Two years ago, my partner and I got married and moved 20 miles away from the town where Suzie and I lived. For a while, Suzie and I did well with maintaining our friendship. However, during the past year our time together has become less frequent. When 1 try to make plans, 1 can’t get an answer from Suzie; usually she wants to wait and see if she can squeeze me in. I think she takes our friendship for granted. During the time we do spend together, Suzie—who is straight—obsesses about the gay men in her life and her relationship (or maybe desire for one) with them. She wants to draw me into her conflict about that, but I don’t think 1 have anything left to add to that dialogue. The thought of this friendship ending is very sad to me, but 1 am not sure where else we can go. The question is do I talk about the fact that 1 no longer want her as a friend? Do I need to “officially" end the friendship? Or do I just let it go? —Roxie D ear R oxie : If you were a dude, particularly a straight dude, the answer would be easy. You’d just let the friendship wither away until the problem took care of itself and there was nothing left to clean up. But because you’re a lesbian, you err on the side of “processing.” You’re genetically compelled to at least consider hashing it all out. And because you’re trying to be conscious about it, as opposed to letting the friendship just rot like a pile of compost, you have choices to make. The big question is whether you feel there’s anything left in your friendship that’s worth saving. Given your long friendship history, if you still have any shred of desire to be friends, there’s no harm in having a conversation about what’s been difficult for each of you. It will probably be clarifying in some way. If you really feel it’s over, you still don’t need to have a conversation to “officially” end the friendship. This isn’t a breakup. Sometimes friends drift apart but still manage to stay in one another’s lives in a less constant way, and there’s no reason to eliminate that option just because you’re feeling hurt right now. You want to tie this friendship in a neat little package and toss it away because you feel uncomfortable about not knowing how things will evolve. But sometimes it’s better to sit quietly and wait: The tide comes in. The tide goes out, Little Grasshopper. • MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What 1 Say: Ms. Behavior's Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or correspondence to msbehavurr@aol.com.
