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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (June 17, 2005)
lune 17.2005 • work as high sch<x>l teachers to “Our kids know we are testify on behalf of Senate Bill lesbians, that we are a cou 1000. I was impressed by their ple,” comments Thorstad. poise, their common-sense “And our administration is approach to argument and proactive with shutting their steadfast integrity. Their down hate directed our way. testimony was compelling They don’t just put out because they spoke with hon fires.” esty about the challenges they Snyder and Thorstad live faced as schoolteachers in a up the road in Athena. They rural, isolated community and acknowledge that everyone the alliances they had built in town knows who they are with colleagues, administrators but sometimes have a hard Cahill and Groff pose for a family portrait and neighbors in the area. time keeping them apart. with the dog and the rainbow flag. Groff was rhe first to make They are simply “the lesbians.” inroads at MacLoughiin (“Mac”) High, a rural school in “If you get lost on the way to our house, you just Milton-Freewater with a student population of around have to ask where the lesbians live,” reports Snyder. 450 and a staff of around 55. She was at the schtxil for This lack of distinction, although essentially dehumaniz seven years before Cahill came along, teaching science ing to the women, is better to them than outright and living as an out lesbian the entire time. She is in her hatred. 19th year of teaching. “Everybody’s very nice; no one has ever been rude. She was bom and raised in Walla Walla, Wash., about Sometimes people stare and point, but I’ve gotten used 50 miles north of where she now lives. The couple are to that,” says Snyder. surrounded by family, with Cahill’s parents right next d<x»r “Everything social we do is in the straight work). and 22 nieces and nephews in the nearby communities. There are no gay bars out here,” she adds. “I don’t really They live up a long country road that follows the adjust my life in any way because I live out here. The twists of the wheat fields, then ambles along the side of a only time 1 feel afraid is when I’m in big cities.” small river. On the way there I had to slow and let a Thorstad adds that she does miss the theater. But the wild turkey cross in front of my car. tradeoff for the sense of community and familiarity of a Cahill and Groff had invited their friends, Michelle small town win out for her. Snyder and Heidi Thorstad, over to have lunch with me When Multnomah County started issuing marriage and talk about their lives in the country. licenses, the four women were on the road to Portland as Snyder and Thorstad were both raised in small towns the sun was rising March 3, 2004. (Lewiston, Mont., and Cannon Falls, Minn., respective “The day we went to get married was one of the most ly) and met when they were getting their teaching cer spectacular days of my life,” says Snyder. She and tificates in Billings, Mont. They kith reach at Mac High Thorstad exchanged rings at Lloyd Center, then they all as well. went to Edgefield Winery to celebrate on the way home. Groff served on the hiring committee that initially When they got home, they had a party with their brought Snyder to the schcxtl. She remembers thinking, friends and neighbors, their boss, other teachers, secre “If that woman’s not a lesbian, I’ll cut off my arm.” She taries—everyone was supportive. was spared amputation, and the four women all grew to When the marriages were annulled, there was an be great friends. outpouring of emotion from kids at the school where the “We had originally thought of staying for just two women teach. years,” reports Snyder, but then they decided to remain “They understand what marriage is. It is hard that 1 for the duration. “We like the small-town life. It is hard can’t say that anymore. When they got struck down, the er to find gay people here; most people are closeted. So kids hugged us and told us how sorry they were. They there is a lack of support for what you would call a gay latched onto it. Now they call Michelle my ‘ex-wife,’ ’’ community. But we have a support system here that feels reports Thorstad, laughing. like our family.” What, then, are the downsides to living in a rural All the women around the lunch table credit the community? As far as these women are concerned, there supportive administration at their schtxil for making aren’t many, and they generally stem from about a half their professional lives not just bearable, but enjoyable. dozen families from the Baptist church who challenge them every step of the way. Last year they wrote anony mous letters to the school administration accusing the women of preferential teaching and pushing the homo sexual agenda. "During the No on 36 campaign, it was particularly bad,” notes Cahill. “Every day parents would march into the schixtl office demanding our resignation because we were wearing No on 36 buttons. It affected every aspect of our life for months. It was my mistake to assixziate the silence with acceptance.” Groff notes: “I’ve had kids pulled out of my class because I’m gay. 1 have some kids who have a ‘Straight Pride’ shirt for every day of the week.” When Snyder t<x>k on adding domestic partnership benefits to kx:al teacher union contracts, with language from the Oregon Education Association, five people wanted to withdraw from the union. Eventually only three did. “I couldn’t have done what I did without Diane,” Snyder says. “Ninety percent of the work has been done by Diane being out and staying around for as long as she has. She deserves the credit.” As I leave the women to an aftemwn of naps, biking and walking the dogs, 1 realize they work together to keep each other happy and supported. In what appeared to be a wilderness to me, I found some of the most civil people I had ever met. MAKING A GO DF IT IN BEND I head out over the wheat fields of Gilliam and Wheeler counties, the hills swelling and falling in the fading light of the day. Across the wide sky I can see the Blue Mountains, and a storm moving across the sky like a black column. As evening approaches, I reach rhe top of a hill, and below see a sprawl of civilization. The landscape has changed to a high desert scmb, with the strong sage smell in the air. Bend is one of the fastest-growing cities in the Western United States. The population is around 65,000. The sprawl between rhe city center and neigh boring Redmond lasts for miles: payday check-cashing joints, pawn shops and Wal-Marts, mixed with the inter mittent aboriginal chain saw sculptor and rhe unceasing legion of drive-though coffee emporia. Derek 1 lanna moved from Phoenix to Bend two months ago to start a business with his brother. They run a low-cost legal dcKumentation service called We the People. 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