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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (May 20, 2005)
_________ may 20. 2005 » Nups and downs Or: Pew, this church smells funny used to enjoy weddings. Having been bom into an atheist house hold, I would always marvel at the ornate altars and cryptic rituals of church cere monies as a child. Holy water fascinated me— 1 presumed it had magical powers, like a foun tain of youth. Today, on those rare occasions when I find myself listening to an otherwise rational adult rambling on about holy ghosts, 1 can’t help thinking: “You guys really buy this nonsense? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but did you flunk science?” So when a high school friend from Salem invited me to his wedding at a Presbyterian church, I was cautiously optimistic. Yeah, he’s a Republican, but he has gay friends; how bad could it be? Worse than I ever could’ve imagined. Maybe it’s me. Ever since same-sex marriage became the hottest topic next to Paris Hilton and Bennifer II, I’ve been particularly sensitive to heterosexist language at weddings. This preacher was particularly, er, preachy. She immediately launched into a definition-of- marriage rant about how God created males and females, how marriage is nothing without God, etc. I’m not sure if I was more offended as a homo or as a freethinker. Then she made a pointed remark about how words lose their meaning from eneration to generation, but some things should never change. Was this a wed ding or a political rally for the Defense of Marriage Coalition? Worse, this conservative com ment was spewing from the mouth of a woman officiating at the wedding of an interracial cou ple. Uh, did I miss something here? If not for progress, this whole service wouldn’t be taking place! As a card-carrying member of the American Civil Liberties Union, 1’11 defend everyone’s freedom of religion and freedom to throw an offensive and tacky wedding. However, as a human being, I’m troubled why people would invite their friends to an event that is guaran teed to make a great deal of them feel un comfortable and, frankly, unwelcome. It’s sorta like inviting an alcoholic to a party where only b<x>ze is being served. Sure, he’s the only guy in the room who will go home thirsty, but then why’d you ask him to show' up? I’m thinking now is the time for a little civil disobedience. The idea popped into my head while shopping for a wedding present at RE1, where the couple had registered for such essen tials as a $90 pair of hiking Fxxits. (Hell, forget hospital visitation—I demand the right to make everyone buy me and my future hubby lots of stuff!) As I collected dust waiting in the lengthy line, 1 decided that the next time I’m invited to a het wedding, I’m going to get these privi leged couples something of real value. I’ll figure out how much money 1 would’ve spent on that china platter or that melon bailer, and I’ll donate the money to the American Civil Lib erties Union in their name. It might irk some newlyweds that they won’t be receiving those linens with the obscenely high thread count, but 1 truly feel like this is a moral imperative until we have marriage equality. In other words: No justice, no sheets. jn ?» Feel Better I Arts and Culture Editor JlM RADOSTA needs your feedback. Write to jim@justout.com. just out,49 1 «Il y Jim's Closet by Jim Radosta THE TOP SHELF So many choices, so little time. The inner east side will be swarm ing with gender-bending musicians May 22, so plan ahead for maxi mum enjoyment. Here’s a suggested minute-by-minute itinerary: 8 p.m.: Start out at Holocene’s Indie All Stars Show, a daylong extravaganza to cele brate the 15th anniversary of Curve, the nation’s best-selling lesbian magazine. Sched uled to perform during the first hour of the evening showcase are queer rockers Excuse Me Sir; spoken word artists Marie Fleischmann and Inga Muscio, the author of Cunt; and drag kings Johnny Mozzarella, Ricky Z. Starr and DK PDX. 9 p.m.: Now it’s time to Double Your Plea sure at gay-owned and newly expanded Crush with Bollywood DJ Anjali and genderfucking trip-hopper Flava Kelly. Proceeds benefit the Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center. 10 p.m.: Relocate to the Doug Fir Lounge for Snatch: A Dyke Knight. This month’s headliners are Lipstick Conspiracy, the world’s only al I-trans rock band. 11 p.m.: Head back to Holocene, where T-reXXXa and Pom Pom Meltdown will be bringing the party, and the weekend, to a cli mactic finish. You’ve probably never heard of the Forest Film Fest—this is only its second year at the modestly sized Clinton Street Theater—but based on the caliber of indie shorts competing this weekend, the festival seems destined to thrive. As a judge for this year’s festival, I won’t divulge how I voted, but I can recommend sev eral highlights: Animation (9 p.m. May 20): John Cer- nak’s “Joyride,” a wild adventure set to Queen’s “Bicycle Race,” and “Dear Sweet, Emma,” a sick-and-wrong story of a grieving grandma. Family Fiction (5 p.m. May 21): “Little Red Jiving Hood,* a Jewish musical version of rhe classic fairy rale, and “Apology,” a teen drama that packs more emotion into 20 min utes than an entire season of Gilmore Girls. Fiction (7 p.m. May 21): Comedies “Sad dam 17,” about one of Hussein’s look-alikes coming to America, and “A Couple on the Side," about opposite-sex roommates dabbling in the swinger lifestyle. Local Fiction (9 p.m. May 21): “8 Minutes to Love," starring Sandra Oh (Sideways) as a speed (dating) freak, and “Sterile Packaging,” in which Sissyboy scribe Mark “Zebra” Thomas provides a startling answer to the question, “Where do dolls come from?” Student Fiction (5 p.m. May 22): “Pee Shy,” a campfire story with a twist, and “The Death of Thecxlore Graham,” a buddy film about the title character’s date with the Grim Reaper. f Don Valerio, MD Board Certified Internal Medicine Fanno Creek Clinic 2400 SW Vermont Portland (503) 452-0915 ______ / / Irà- Lili■_ JsiC MILLENNIUM! 0^> Q ff A ll R eg Ù l . M usic & M ovie DV y WITH THIS COUPON E xpires 07ÄW5 l^<T tc e MILLENNIUM WWW.MUSICMILLENNIUM.COM NORTHWEST 801 NW 23rd PORTLAND, OR 503-248-01 63 EASTSIDE 3158 E BURNSIDE PORTLAND, OR 503-231-8926 Rascal Video Exclusive "BRANDON LEE” Steam Portland www.steamportland.com Portland just got a whole lol sexier!
