Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 7, 2005)
January 7.2005 ’ JllSt Oilt 37 Bollywood vs. Bollywood How I spent my winter vacation 11:15 p.m. Dec. 24: Digging through old family photos on Christmas Eve, I came across my parents’ 1974 holiday card: a pic of their gay son striking his first pose on a red carpet. 9:23 p.m. Dec. 17: “She’s like a Muppet!” 1 whispered to a friend while watching Dolly Parton croon “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” from our back-row seats at the Rose Garden. The Busty One was perched atop a grand piano, holding an oversize martini glass and cigarette holder—always in character and proudly self- aware that she never takes life seriously. At 58, the legendary entertainer realizes all that mat ters is the music, which was mesmerizing at times and goofy at others (particularly when she sang “I Will Always Love You” to an Elvis Sissyboy co-founder Sol writhed in agony on impersonator). stage. These guys deserve a pat on the butt for 2:32 a.m. Dec. 19: Speaking of Muppets, pulling the rug out from under their audience Kennit the Frog made a cameo on Saturday with an important message that everyone Night Live for a tender Christmas duet with needs to hear. Robert De Niro. But he croaked when the host 7:49 p.m. Jan. 1: Departing DollywcxxJ for puckered up for a kiss: “I have to warn you— Bollywood, I watched two bandits bond while 1 am a boy frog.” Unfazed, Bobby replied, singing, whistling and playing harmonica “Yeah, 1 knew that,” and smooched Kennie’s together on a musical motorcycle ride in forehead. Aww. Sholay— which was screened for a special And this was just the beginning of the installment of Atlas, Holocene’s twice-monthly show’s most subversive episode ever, which fea Bhangra night. The main characters were a tured several segments about same-sex nups, pair of sexy, stylish straight men who displayed including the gay marriage of Star Jones and more affection for each other in an Indian film Al Reynolds (meow!); a commercial for from 1975 than you’ll likely find in any Ameri W<x>mba (“new from the makers of Roomba— j can film from 2005. the first fully automated, completely robotic 7:30 p.m. Dec. 23: The subcontinent was feminine hygiene product”); and a twisted three days away from devastation when I arrived in Salem to continue a 15-year tradition: getting together with old high schrxil buddies for a pleasant potluck and a nithless gift exchange. A dozen folks showed up this year—one-quarter of ■ÄU- whom came out as queer after graduating in 1990. Among the no-shows was the ♦ dude whose campaign speech for senior class president ended with the infamous words, “If you don’t vote for Mike Matsel, you’re probably an....” Pals planted in the auditorium then yelled, “Ass hole!” This stunt led to instant infamy as well as victory at the ballot box (how could he go wrong Jim Radosta, 2, throws a glance at his 4-year-old brother, with such a steadfast slogan?), but Charles, circa Christmas 1974 Principal Patterson disqualified his cartoon from Robert Smigel in which Santa candidacy. Now he works at Microsoft. Mike couldn’t make it to the party because Claus bypassed red states (his map referred to them as “Dumbf***istan”) because “they won’t he was visiting a friend in India. Panic set in when the tsunami struck, but it was replaced let Moby marry a guy!” (“Actually, Santa, I’m by relief when this headline ran Hee. 29 in my not gay,” the techno musician told Kris hometown rag, The Statesman Urinal: “Salem Kringle, who exclaimed: “Ho, ho, ho! Man Survives Tsunami in India.” Puh-lease! 1 see you when you’re ‘sleeping’!”) It’s the closest I’ve come to a Christmas 12:22 a.m. Dec. 30: Dolly*made an encore miracle. jrn appearance—sorta—during “Sissyboy Goes to the Trailer Park.” I went in prepared for the Arts and Culture Editor JlM RAlX'tSTA needs your radical drag punks to deliver another un feedback. Write to jim@justout.com. predictable performance skewering everything sacred, and I wasn’t disappointed. The show focused on Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie’s trannie twins taking out the trash—complete with a Twinkie fixxl fight, a pregnant woman — “It’s just makeup.” Q* n) — Miss Gay Seattle XL Alcksa giving birth to a six-pack of PBR and a live rendition of “Jolene” by Fannie Mae (easily the ~v Manila, calming the fears of gasping troupe’s most unhinged member), who yuppies when Pink Martini’s Thomas launched into Dolly’s gentle ballad after catch Lauderdale invited the Filipino drag queen to serenade the crowd Dec. 28 at Crystal Ballroom. ing her cheating husband in the act—punctu ating the chorus with, “You fucking bitch!” The strange yet sublime show also featured gay What I didn't see coming amid all this satire director David Weissman (The Cockettes) x was a hard-hitting number about the dangers playing “Oh Susanna” on the harmonica... of crystal meth. Scary before-and-after photos using his nostril. of gaunt addicts flashed across a screen while imagine staying positively free from STDs PDXSEX fact: Syphilis is back & looking for hot guy-on-guy action. Living with HIV? Syphilis can hit harder & faster. Test every 3 months (it's always confidential). info; www.man2manpdx.us STD Clinic: 503.988.3700 CHOOSE WHAT WORKS FOR YOU: learn • protect • test • treat {condoms help prevent STDs but do not protect you 100% | Corner of Sandy Blvd. & NE 64th 3106 NE 64th Portland, OR 97213 503-280-8080 w THE TOP SHELF • fa'4. Fiy (jifts for ‘Romance in an ‘Liegant Setting In w our core values: building, strengthening and supporting women's community diversity of feminist perspective education for empowerment social change through grass roots activism Open Seven Days a Week * 3734 SE Hawthorne Women’s Books and Resources 503.232.6003 www.inotherwords.org we offer a comprehensive, diverse collection of women's writing • women-positive videos for rent non-sexist children's books • cards, stickers, posters, buttons, gifts • space for community education Huge Selection of DVDs & Videos
