Just out., May 21, 2004, Page 33, Image 33

may 21 .2004 * JlM t (M it 33
ADVICE
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
A in s w o r t h U n ite d C h u r c h o f C h r is t is a muitira
ctal. multicultural, open and affirm ing church. Sunday
vrorsN p is at 10 am; church school for children runs
concurrently (2941 N E Ainsworth St. 503-284-8767.
aucc@teteportcom .) (7/04)
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
T r in it y U n it e d M e t h o d is t C h u r c h is for all people
Eucharist at Bridgeport United Church of C hrist A wel­
w ho se e k the grace of G o d and desire to w ork for
com ing congregation. Catholic m tradition and Ecumenical
peace and justice C hild care available (10.30 am
n m em bershp (6 pm Sunday. 621 N E 76th Ave
Sunday 3915 S E Steele S t 503 7773901.) (7/04)
503-6990473 www kcxnonacom m um tyorg/ (7/04)
U n iv e rs ity P a rk U n ite d M e th o d fo t C h u rc h believes
L o n g v ie w U n it e d M e t h o d is t C h u r c h is w elcom
m giving to the community, caring for one another and mak­
mg and reconciling (10 am Sunday 2851 30th Ave.
360-425-4927.) (7/04)
ing a difference one person at a time Com e celebrate
nwidfHMd r9B C 8 uotiiiTiiiniTy u n im i w iernooisi
G o d 's diversity with us! (10 am Sunday 4775 N Lombard
St. The Rev Jeanne Knepper 503-289 7843X7/04)
A n a w iu i C o m m u n it y of gay men m eets w eekly for
C h u rc h is a "house church" that brings gay and straight
W a v e riy H e ig h t s U n ite d C h u r c h o f C h r is t is
Christian meditation and prayer. (7:30 pm Thursday
together D a ly m om ng prayer and Sunday evening w orshp
open and affirm ing with w orship, children's school and
503 281-0722.) (1704)
(5032813697 www tearsoup.com/metancxa.H7/04)
B r id g e p o r t U n ite d C h u r c h o f C h r is t is a com m u­
M e t ro p o lit a n C o m m u n it y C h u r c h o f P o r t la n d
child care. (10 am Sunday 3300 S E Woodward St
503-238-1337 www.wavertyucc.org.)(7104)
nity of progressive, political people exploring and cele
holds ecum enical Su n day m orning w orship se rvice s at
bratmg the Chnstian faith W e are sexual m inonty and
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng
is an open and liberal religious com m unity offenng inter-
straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children
the 11 am service. (2400 N E Broadway 503-281 8868
mfoQmccportland com wwwm ccportland.com .) (7/04)
generational services and religious education for youth
are valued m em bers (10.30 am Sunday 621 N E 76th
Ave. 5 0 3 2 5 8 4 9 9 2 w ww bndgeportucc org.) (7/04)
N ic h ir e n B u d d h is t T e m p le o f P o r t la n d offers
C it y C h u rc h . Portland's "o ld e st gay-affirm ing
several w eekly gathenngs Everyone w elcom e1 (10 am
Christian church," offers a spirit-dnven church for
Sunday. 7:30 am Tuesday and Thursday. 7 30 pm
today 's diverse generations (10 am Sunday com m u­
nion and worship service, 6:30 pm Sunday worship
503-232-8064 www mchiren-shu.org/portland) (7/04)
service 3830 S E 62nd Ave. 503-775-5024.)(7/04)
W ednesday meditatxxi 2025 S E Yamhill St.
P e a c e C h u r c h o f th e B re t h re n is a w elcom ing
C o n g re g a tio n P 'n a i O r (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
congregation ( I I am Sunday 12727 S E Market S t
egalitarian, Jew ish Renewal congregation in Portland
503 254 6380.) (7/04)
M eets several tim es a month at Portland State University
Cam pus M inistries (P O Box 42187, Portland. O R
97242-0187 503-248-4500. wwwpnaiorpdx.org.)(7/04)
inclusive spintual philosophy sim ilar to 12-step, Unity and
Religious Science. Impromptu w edding cerem onies avail­
able. (503-7770727. www portlandcenter org.) (7/04)
P o r t la n d R a d ic a l F a e r ie s meet twice a month with
1133 N E 181st Ave., Gresham. 503-6652628
eastrose&teleport com www.eastrose.org.) (7/04)
potlucks and circles at the full m oon and the new
E c k a n k a r — R e lig io n o f th e L ig h t a n d S o u n d o f
grow th and community. C offee hours start 9:30 am
G o d holds w orship se rvice s and m aintains a library of
Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse, 201 S E 12th Ave.
(5 0 3 2 3 5 0 8 2 6 ottei@pcez.com .) (7/04)
today's world (10 am Sunday 7904 S E Milwaukie Ave
503-233-1595. w wweckankar.org )(7 /04)
moon. O pen to all men seeking alternative spintual
S e v e n th -D a y A d v e n tis t K in s h ip s a support orgam
zation for queer people, their families and fnends. (P O Box
F a ith U n ite d M e th o d ist C h u rc h s a welcoming com ­
7320, Laguna Niguel. C A 92607-7320. 866-732-5677
munity of Christians in Troutdale that values and encour­
office@sdakinship. org. www. sdakinship. org.) (7/04)
ages all people in finding a place of belonging in the family
of God. Sunday worship at 10:15 am; Adult Education at
9 am; children and youth at 10:30 am. W ednesday Prayers
6 -6 3 0 pm. (27400 S E Stark St. 503-661-4520 ) (7/04)
F irst U n ita ria n C h u rc h of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range of
programs to nurture spintual growth, community and social
justice. Sunday service 9 and 11 am. (1011 S W 12th Ave
503228-6389. wwwfhstunitananportland.org.) (7/04)
Z io n U n ite d C h u r c h o f C h r is t an open and
affirm ing congregation, is open to gay, lesbian, bi. trans
and heterosexual people w ho w ish to w orship in a
Christ-centered, warm, canng, m ultiage/race/cultural
faith com m unity (11 am Sunday 2025 N E 2 3 rd Ave.,
Gresham 503-665-8741) (7/04)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
U n ite d C h u r c h o f C h r is t C o n g r e g a t io n a l s an
open and affirming congregation in The D alles (9 2 0 am
adult Sunday school, 10 30 am Sunday worship.
111 E Fifth St. 541-296-2909 ucccongl@netcnct net.
www formimstry.com/usorucofcucocc.) (7/04)
Washington: Spirituality
A b u n d a n t L ife C e n t e r is A N ew Thought
Com m unity for spintual aw akening and transform ing
lives through love A safe place w here children team to
em body spiritual pnnciptes. ( 10 am Sunday 10006 N E
d iscu ssio n groups, a drum m ing circle, w orksh ops and
Ninth Ave., Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Verigin
c la sse s Schedule of events available All w om en are
360-573-2626 7(7/04)
w elcom e (Suite 102. 3430 S E Belm ont St Mailing
address P O Box 9246, Portland, O R 97207.
503-736-3297 sistersp@teleport.com .)(7/04)
S o u th m in ste r P re sb y te ria n C h u rc h is an active mem
ber of the Community of Welcoming Congregations. Sunday
school and nursery care. Classes, community service activi­
ties and events for all ages and interests (9-930 am Sunday
N eri Catholic C hurch celebrates an affirm ing M a ss fol­
chapel service. 10 am Sunday community worshp service
lowed by a social (7 30 pm Friday Pauhst Center,
12250 S W Denney Road. Beaverton 503644 2073
2408 S E 16th A v e 503-231 4955 ) ( 7/04)
staff@southmincom. www southmm.com.) (7/04)
E a s t V a n c o u v e r U n ite d M e t h o d is t C h u r c h is
reconciling and welcom ing. (10 am Sunday
5701 MacArthur B b d 360-693-47617(7/04)
F ir s t C o n g r e g a t io n a l C h u r c h United C hurch of
Christ, holds se rvice s in an open and affirming congre­
gation (10 am Sunday worship, 11:15 am adult educa­
tion. 122 0N E 68th St., Vancouver 360693-1476
vanucc@ aolcom .) (7/04)
M e t ro p o lit a n C o m m u n it y C h u r c h o f th e
G e n tle S h e p h e r d in Vancouver w elcom es you
G a y M e n 's L a b y rin t h P r o je c t m eets quarterly for
S t. A n d re w C a th o lic C h u rc h invites all to join a
a w alking m editation and w isdom circle on the labyrinth.
diverse faith community for prayer and felb w shp (9:30 am
(www gaylabyhnth.com.) (7/04)
Sunday. 8 0 6 N EA kerta St 503 281-44297(7104)
In t e g rit y is a group of sexual m inority Episcopalians
S t. J a m e s L u th e r a n C h u r c h a Reconciled in
and fnends. Various locations throughout O regon.
C h n st congregation, w elcom es all people for traditional,
(Bruce 5 0 3 -2 8 6 9 1 11 bmcepdxor@attbi com.
liturgical w orship w here we experience G o d 's reconcil­
www integhtyusa.org.) (7/04)
ing love that se ts all people free (9 and 11 am Sunday
In t e rfa ith S p ir it u a l C e n t e r h o u se s spiritual direc
1315 S W Park A ve 503-227 2439
www stjameslutheranportland.org.) (7/04)
available for guidance, c la sse s and retreats. (Second
S t S te p h e n '1 E p is c o p a l C h u rc h has been welcom ­
Floor, 3910 S E 11th Ave. 503-2332026, ext. 3.
ing a l people sm ce 1863. (1 2 1 0 p m Wednesday and
wwwmterfaithspintuaicentercom.) (7/04)
745 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child care at
W arn 1432S W 13thAve 503-223-6424)0/04)
K e s h e t P o r t la n d is a potfuck group for Jew ish mem
Universalist pnnciptes. (4 pm Sunday. 3915 S E Steele
St. 503-777-3704 www w yeastpnw duua.org.)(7/04)
S is t e r S p ir it offers w om en's spintuality celebrations,
G a y a n d L e s b ia n O u t r e a c h ( G A L O ) of S t Philip
tors from various world religious traditions, w ho are
m em bers and nurture spintual grow th living by Unitarian
P o rtla n d C e n te r fo r S p ir it u a l G ro w th is a center
w elcom ing congregation, offers Su n day service and
m aterials to help you team about the D ivine Spint in
and adults W e w elcom e gay. lesbian, bi and trans
for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an all-
E a s t r o s e F e llo w s h ip U n it a r ia n U n iv e r s a lis t a
children's religious education. (1 0 3 0 am Sunday.
W y 'e a s t U n it a r ia n U n iv e r s a lis t C o n g r e g a t io n
(10:30 am and 6:30 pm Sunday worship, 9 am Sunday
Bible study 2200 Broadway The Rev. Harriet
Barshofsky 360-695 1480) (7/04)
M ic h a e l S e rv e tu s U n ita ria n U n iv e rsa list
F e llo w sh ip a W elcoming Congregation, provides a home
for the liberal rekgwus spirit. (9:30 and 11.15am Sunday
4505 E 18th St., Vancouver 360695-1891.)(7/04)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
F ir s t C o n g re g a tio n a l C h u rc h United Church of
Christ is an open and affirming congregation offenng wor­
ship and church school. Child care provided and wheelchair
bers o f the sexual m inorities com m unity and their part
T r in it y E p is c o p a l C a t h e d ra l, a w elcom ing and
ners. sp o u se s and supporters Its purpose is to help
affirm ing congregation, invites all to w orship services
build bridges with the larger Jew ish com m unity
and ongoing program s in spintual developm ent, com ­
M onthly social, religious and cultural events. (David or
munity outreach, m usic and arts education. (8 am
M e t r o p o lit a n C o m m u n it y C h u r c h T w o R iv e r s
Laney 503226-7079. ext 147 (7/ 04)
Sunday Rite I chapel service 10 am Sunday Rite II
is a C hnstian church with prim ary outreach in the sexual
cathedral service. 147 N W 19th Ave. 503-222-9811.
m m onties com m unity (6 3 0 pm Sunday 1166 Oak St.,
www.thnity-episcopal.oig.) (7/04)
Eugene.) (7/04)
K o in o n ia C a t h o lic C o m m u n ity is a progressive.
accessible (9:30 am Sunday learning hour, 10:30 am wor
ship. 700 Manor St NE, Salem 503-363-3660.) (7/04)
mm
YOU TH
O ÉIYBC*. «program of Cascade Behavioral
HooithCare, offars support and recreation to gay. lesbian,
tx and trans youth 23 and younger. Offers drop+i comput­
ar access, pool tables and an informal piace to hang out
WeeWy support meetings includes Trans Youth Group and
Metro: Youth
Flavors te a project of Lcwe Make« a Fame's MultiQueer
program and is stpported by Brother to Brother (Kristy
503-228-3832 rnJtiqueermnhxniy org.) 0/04)
The C M jiL ™ ,_____ l,„
.
www.smyrc.org) Other programs include: Clue to n a i
( C O S M Y O provides opportunities for queer and ques­
Washington: Youth
Tripl* Point offers education, support and advocacy
to gay, lesbian, be trans »id questioning youth in
Vancouver, Wash. Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays m the base­
ment of Youth House, 1112 Cotemba St m Vancouver
(John 360695-1325/(7/04)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gey« Lesbian, BI, Trinigaadir and
Questioning Youth Group tor ages 13 to
N e t w o rk C G L S E N ) fights to end anti-gay bias in K 12
tioning youth ages 23 and younger to get together for
sch o o ls (Suite 180. 12700 S W North D akota St.
free, fun and supportive social activities. O ffers one-on-
18 offers
support, inform ation and fun in Eugene Free, confiden­
»129. Tigard O R 97223. 503 525 1 1 7 7
glsen@Qlsenoregon.org. w w w .gbenoregon.org.)(7/04)
one support, referrate and information on F#V and S T D
tial, adult-facilitated (Drop in 4 6 pm Friday. Amazon
prevention end resources for adults w ho work with queer
Com m unity Center, 2700 fflyard St. 5 41 684-3466)
(7/04)
a program o f Lo ve M a k e s a Family, pro­
vides advocacy to sexual m inority yotfh. O ffers
system s, with a focus cm support for queer and qu e s­
tioning youth o f c o k v (Kristy 503-228-3892
m 3hqueer@fmfamiy org.) (7/04)
hi operates a
cosmycyouthSya/hoo.coni) P r id e P ro je c t brings togeth­
plan and attend monthly social everts. A lso information,
Lesbian, Gay, Bisaxual, Transgandar Youth
Group for a g e s 25 and younger m eets every M onday
referral and advocacy services m W ashington County.
In Eugene (5 pm Kom ona Center. 1414 Kincaid St.
(MoSy 503-260-5792. mdty@pndeprojoci orgJ (7/04)
541-346-1134/(7/04)
er W ashington County queer and questioning youth to
resources » id support in the com m unity and the school
i
ami questioning youth. (503-969-0060.
Out V About Youth meet every Thursday
cknic for anyone w ho can 't
in
C o rv a is. ( 7 pm. 1165 M onroe Ave. 541-754-3906)
quaMy for the O regon Health Plan a s we# a s needle
exchange services that include those w ho inject hor­
m ones C a n provide transitionel housing for youth 20
Eastern Oregon: Youth
i Oregon Centtr fòr tutte potute itt
(7/04)
Rainbow Youth
is a safe, confidential support
gro u p fo r yo u n g ga y m an, lesbians, bisexuals, tran s­
than 23 N e e ds volunteers of a# a g e s (10 a m 6 p m
L M n g o ffe « support and advocacy to gay. ìe sban , bi,
trans and questioning youth in Eastem O regon
Monday-Friday 1132 S W 13th A ve 503535-3800
<541-8896119o r 866-2486369 eocrf0eoc4.org
www.outsktem org.) (7/04)
www eoc4.org.) (7/04)
W ednesday. M icha Bihkhng, 690 State S t . Salem
w ww salem ralnhowyouth.org> (7/04)
»id younger
a s we# a s for those H h/r and younger
Send your
gender. q u e stion in g an d fn e n d s ( 6 6 pm
outreach listings to:
ju s t out (attn. Calendar) • PO Box 14400 • Portland. OR 97293-0400
F ix submissions to 503-236-1257 or e-mail justout@ justout.com
S ibm ssions cannot be accepted ovei the phone • Please type your announcements and include full contact information
Who's the boss?
Friends don’t disinvite friends
from The L Word
and just go with the secu­
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I was a devout les­
rity he gives me?
— S
bian for two decades and
basically still consider
D ear S:
myself to be a dyke.
It’s not really clear
I never thought I’d
that you “love, love, love”
consider dating a man
your boyfriend. You’re not
again and am shocked to
happy with him sexually
find myself in love with
and you claim he’s weak
one. I won’t bore you
during hard times, and
with the details, but,
the only thing you specify
earlier this year, my
by
Meryl
Cohn
that you love is the secu­
now-deceased collie had
rity he provides.
numerous health prob­
You haven’t said which kind of secu­
lems, and I fell for her very kind male
rity he offers, but Ms. Behavior suspects
veterinarian.
th?t your boyfriend buys you lots of
My life now feels like a made-for-
pretty things or gives you an allowance.
TV movie. All of my friends and fami­
What exactly is a “nonresilient”
ly are angry and disappointed with me
person? You may mean that he’s not
(even my mother, who begged me to
emotionally supportive when you’re
“try to change" when I came out to her
having a hard time, hut Ms. Behavior
20 years ago). I’m no longer invited to
suspects
that you offer him a special
watch The L Word with my friends.
kind of torment and then expect him
I still feel like the same person. In
to buck up if he doesn’t want to deal
fact, I’m mostly attracted to women,
with your drama. Frankly, it sounds
not men. I just happened to meet the
like you might be a bit of a spoiled
one man in the world who’s an excep­
brat, looking for an excuse to step out
tion for me.
on your boyfriend.
My friends tell me I can’t call
Either way, if you plan to “enter­
myself a lesbian anymore. (They’ve
tain your flesh” with others, and you
even suggested I might prefer to watch
have an agreement to be monoga­
The B Word, but I don’t feel particu­
mous, you need to mention it before
larly bisexual.) What do you think?
— Baffled you “creep out to get your rocks off."
But if you do discuss it with him,
please try to make it sound less vulgar.
D ear B affled :
Your friends sound
D ear M s . B ehavior :
like very bossy and
You recently printed
uncompassionate les­
a letter from “Lost
bians. While there’s
Boy.” 1 am one of the
really no reason for
“dads”
mentioned in
them to feel betrayed
that letter.
or threatened, some
I am not writing to
dykes turn rabid when
ask advice hut rather to
a friend steps out of
give some advice to
the fold. Perhaps these
your readers. If you
women fear that if
love someone, for
they support you, they
G od’s sake ted them ! 1
will he transformed
was not honest with
against their will into
this man for complicat­
heterosexuals.
ed reasons, but, in
If it’s any comfort,
hindsight, there was no reason that
nearly everyone is hlindsided by an
was good enough to risk losing him.
unexpected twist. Life is like that:
unpredictable. Perhaps in time your
I fell in love with him and wanted
to he with him, and I should have
friends will mature with experience
and develop a little more empathy.
told him. PLEASE, if you are reading
this letter and are in love with some­
In the meantime, they have
one,
put this paper down, pick up the
absolutely no right to disavow your les­
phone and call him or run, don’t
bianism. You’re still a dyke if you say
walk, to wherever this person is and
you are! And if you and your boyfriend
are comfy with that, they’ll have to
tell him.
learn to accept that change has come.
And, finally, to Lost Boy: As long
as I’m around you will NEVER be
lost. 1 love you and want you to he
D ear M s . B ehavior :
with me. I’m soiry if 1 let you down
I’ve recently gotten hack into a
relationship with my ex-boyfriend. We
by not being honest with you from
the start. I only hope 1 can make it up
broke up because of his inability to
show strength in times of severe stress
to you.
and strain. Now we’re hack together,
and he’s wonderful, except sexually.
© Meryl Cohn 2004
I love, love, love this man. He is
MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What
nothing I want hut everything I need.
I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay
However, I’m scared I may creep out
and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghtim
from time to time to get my rocks off.
Mifflm) . Signed copies are mailable
I don’t want to hurt him, hut he hurt
me deeply by being a nonresilient per­ drreedy from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to msbehai4or@aol .com.
son. Should I not entertain my flesh
Ms. Behavior
I never
thought
rd consider
dating a man
again and
am shocked
to find m yself
in love
with one
jn