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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 20, 2004)
tebruary 2Q. 2004 ADVICE SPIRITUALITY Metro: Spirituality Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a multi racial multicultural, open and affirming church Sunday worship is at 10 am; church school for children runs concurrently. (2941 NE A insw orth S t 50 3 284 8767. auccQ teleportcom .) (7/04) Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for Christian meditation and prayer (7 3 0 pm Thursday 503-281 0722.) (7/04) Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a commu- nity of progressive, political people exploring and cele brating the Chnstian faith We are sexual minonty and straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children are valued members (10 3 0 am Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503-258-0992 www bndgeportucc o rg ) (7 / 04) City Church, Portland's "oldest gay-affirming Chnstian church," offers a spirit-driven church for today s diverse generations (1 0 am Sunday com m u nion and w orship service , 6 3 0 pm Sunday w orship service 3 8 3 0 S E 6 2nd A ve . 503-77 5-5 024 .)(7 704) Congregation P’nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant, egalitarian, Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland Meets several times a month at Portland State University Campus Ministries (PO Box 42187. Portland. OR Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive, small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate Euchanst at Bndgeport United Church of Chnst. A wel coming congregation. Catholic in tradition and Ecumenical in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th A ve 503-699-0473 www koinoniacom m unity o ra 7 (7/04) Longview United M ethodist Church is weicom ing and reconciling (1 0 am Sunday 2851 30th A ve 360-425 4 9 2 7 .) (7 /0 4 ) Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist Church is a "house church" that bnngs gay and straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday evening worship (503-281-3697 w w w .tearsoup .com /m eta noia) (7/04) M etropolitan Community Church of Portland holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at 9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng the 11 am service (2 400 N E Broadw ay 503-281 8868 m foG m ccportland com w w w m ccp o rtta n d co m .) (7/04) Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1 (1 0 am Sunday. 7 3 0 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 3 0 pm W ednesday m editation 2025 SE Yam hill S t 97242-0187. 503 248-4500 w w w p n a io rp d x o rg )(7 /0 4 ) East rose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a Portland Center fo r Spiritual Growth is a center welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's religious education (1 0 3 0 am Sunday for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an all inclusive spmtual philosophy similar to 12-step. Unity and Religious Science. (503-777-0727 w w w p o rtland cente r o rg 7 (7/04) eastroseQ teleport com w w w eastrose o rg ) (7/04) Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming community of Chnstians in Troutdale that values and encourages all people in Ending a place of belonging in the family of God. Sunday worship at 10 15 am; Adult Education at 9 am. children and youth at 10 30 am Wednesday Prayers 6-6 30 pm (27400 SE S tark S t 503 6 6 1 -4520 ) (7/04) First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range of programs to nurture spmtual growth, community and social justice Sunday service 9 and 11 am (1011 SW 12th Ave. 503 228 6389 www firstum tananportland org.) (7/04) Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass fol lowed by a social. (7 3 0 pm Fnday P aulist C enter. 2408 SE 16th Ave 503 231-4955 7(7/04) Gay Men's Labyrinth Protect meets quarterly for a walking meditation and wisdom circle on the labynnth (w w w ga ylab ynnth com ) (7/04) Gay Men's Spirit Group is open to all men expen enced or interested in alternative spmtual practices such as New Age, shamanism, meditation, psychic/mtuitive, energy work and healing (503-230- 7949 ) (7/04) Integrity is a group of sexual minonty Episcopalians and fnends Vanous locations throughout Oregon (Bruce 503 2 8 6 -9 1 11 bm cepdxorG attbi com Sunday 4775 N Lom bard St. The Rev Jea nne Knepper 503 289- 7 8 4 3 7 (7/04) Waveriy Heights United Church of Christ is open and affirming with worship, children's school and child care. (1 0 am Sunday 3300 SE W oodw ard S t 503-238-1337 w w w wavedyucc o rg .) (7/04) Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new. moon Open to all men seeking alternative spmtual growth and community Coffee hours start 9 30 am Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave (503-235-0826 otterG p cez com ) (7/04) Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support organization for queer people, their families and fnends (PO B ox 7320, Laguna N iguel. CA 3915 SE S teele S t 503-777-3704 www w yeast pnw d u u a .o rg 7(7/04) Zion United Church of Christ, an open and affirming congregation, is open to gay, lesbian, bi, trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a Chnst-centered, warm, canng, multiage/race/cultural faith community (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 2 3 rd A v e . Gresham 503 6 6 5 -8 7 4 1 7(7/04) Central Oregon: Spirituality United Church of Christ Congregational is an open and affirming congregation in The Dalles (9.20 am adult Sunday school. 10 30 am Sunday w orship 111 E Fifth S t 541-296-2909 ucccongl@ netcnct net www form im stry com /'usorucofcucocc. 7(7/04) Washington: Spirituality Abundant Life Center is A New Thought Community for spintual awakening and transforming lives through love A safe place where children leam to embody spntual pnnciples (1 0 am Sunday 10006 NE N inth A v e , Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Vengm 360 5 7 3 -2 6 2 6 ) (T704) 92607-7320. 86 6 732-5677 officeG sdakm ship org. East Vancouver United Methodist Church is w w w sdakm ship o r g ) (7/04) reconciling and welcoming (1 0 am Sunday SisterSpirit offers women's spintuality celebrations, 5701 M acA rthur B lvd 36 0 6 9 3 -4 7 6 1 ) (7704) discussion groups, a dramming circle, workshops and classes Schedule of events available All women are welcome (S uite 102. 34 30 SE B elm ont S t M ailing First Congregational Church. United Church of Chnst. holds services in an open and affirming congre gation. (10 am Sunday w orship, 1 1 1 5 am adult educa address PO Box 9246. P ortland. OR 97207 tion 1220 NE 68th S t. Vancouver 360-693-1476 vanuccG aol com .) (7/04) 503- 736 32 97 siste rsp G te le p o rt com .) (7/04) Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active member of the Community of Welcoming Congregations. Sunday school and nursery care. Classes, community service activities and events for all ages and interests (9 -9 3 0 am Sunday chapel service. 10 am Sunday com m unity w orship service. 12250 S W Metropolitan Community Church of the Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you (10 30 am and 6 3 0 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday Bible study 2200 B roadw ay The Rev H arnet B arshofsky 360 69 5 1 4 8 0 1 (7/04) staffG southm m com w w w southm m c o m ) (7/04) Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist Fellowship a Welcoming Congregatxxi. provxles a home St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a for the liberal religious spirit. (9 3 0 and 11:15 am Sunday 4505 E 18th S t . Vancouver 360-695-1891 7(7/04) D enney Road. B eaverton 503-644-2073 diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship (9 :3 0 am Sunday 806 NE A lb erta S t 503-281 -4429.) www m tegntyusa o rg ) (7/04) (7/04) Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spmtual direc tors from vanous world religious traditions, who are available for guidance, classes and retreats (S econd Floor. 3910 SE llt h A ve 503-233 2026. ext 3 www m terfaithspintualcenter c o m 7 (7/04) St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for tradition al, liturgical worship where we expenence God s recon ciling love that sets all people free. (9 and 11 am Sunday 1315 S W Park A ve 503-227-2439 Keshet Portland is a potluck group for Jewish mem bers of the sexual minonties community and their part ners. spouses and supporters Its purpose is to help build bridges with the larger Jewish community Monthly social, religious and cultural events (D avid o r Laney 503-226-7079. ext 1 4 )( 7/04) w w w stjam eslutheranportland o rg .7 (7/04) St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel coming all people since 1863 (1 2 10 pm W ednesday and 7 4 5 and 10 am Sunday. Sunday school and child care a t 10 am 1432 SW 13th A ve 503 223 6424 ) (7/04) Sexual M in ority Youth Resource Center (SM YR O a program o f Cascadia Behavioral YOUTH Metro: Youth Flavor«, a social support group for sexual minonty youth of color 21 and younger, meets on weekends for food and sociakzng Regular events and activities Flavors Is a project of Love Makes a Family's MultiQueer program and is supported by Brother to Brother (Jaye 503-228-3892 jayeOtmtarnty org ) (7 /04) The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bias n K -12 schools. (Suite 180. 12700 SW North Dakota St. 1 129. Tigard. OR 97223. 503-525■ 1177. gteen&glseooregon ocg wwwglsenoregon org.) (7/04) Mufti Queer a program of Love Makes a Famdy, provides advocacy to sexual mmortty youth O ffers resources and support in the community and the school systems, with a focus on support for queer and questioning youth o f color (Jaye 503-228-3892 jaye&mfamtty org.) (7/04) Outside In operates a d n ic fo r anyone who can t qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needte exchange services that include those who inject hor mones Can provide transitional housing fo r youth 20 and younger as we* as for those HIV+ and younger than 23. Needs volunteers of all ages (10am -6pm MJnday Fnday 1132 SW 13th Ave 503-535-3800. www.outsidem org )i7 704) H ealthcare, o ffe rs support and recreation to gay, lesbian, bi and trans youth 23 and younger. O ffers drop-in com puter access, pool tables Bnd an in fo r mal place to hang out. W eekly support m eetings includes Trans Youth G roup and the creative group Personal D e ity Proxy (4-8 pm Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-midnight Friday and Saturday. 2100 SE Belmont St 503-872-9664 TTY 503-231-9286 www.smyrc org.) O ther program s m dude: Clackamas C ounty Sexual M inority Youth Connection (CO SM YO provides oppor tunities fo r queer and questioning youth ages 23 and younger to get together fo r free, fun and sup portive social a ctivitie s O ffe rs one-on-one support, referrals and inform ation on HIV and STD prevention and resources fo r adults who w ork w ith queer and questioning youth (503-969-0060 coamycyouthGyahoo com ) Pride P roject brings together W ashington C ounty queer and questioning youth to plan and attend m onthly social events. A lso inform ation, referral and advocacy services in Washington County. (M olly 503-260-5792. mokyGphdeproject org.) (7 /0 4 ) Eastern Oregon: Youth Cattem Oregon Cantor for Irutopnocfaint Living offers support and advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and Send your Sweet surrender If you love something, set it free...or join in Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation is an open and liberal religious community offenng mtergenerational services and religious education for youth and adults We welcome gay, lesbian, bi and trans members and nurture spmtual growth living by Unitarian Universalist pnnciples (4 pm Sunday 50 3-232 8064 w w w m ch ire n -s h u o rg /p o rtla n d ) (7/04) Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming congregation (11 am Sunday. 12727 SE M a rket St. 503-254 63 80 ) (7/04) 1133 NE 181st A v e . Gresham 5 0 3 6 6 5 2628 University Park United M ethodist Church believes in giving to the community, canng for one another and making a difference one person at a time Come celebrate God's diversity with us! (1 0 am Willamette Valley: Spirituality First Congregational Church. United Church of Chnst is an open and affirming congregation offenng worship and church school Child care provided and wheelchair accessible (9 3 0 am Sunday learning hour. 1 0 3 0 am w orship 700 M a nor S t NE. Salem 503-363 3 6 6 0 ) (7104) Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers is a Chnstian church with pnmary outreach in the sexual minonties community (6 3 0 pm Sunday 1166 Oak S t . Eugene 7(7/04) (541-889-3119 or 866-248-8369 eoolGeoal.org. www eoci.org 7 (7/04) questioning youth in Eastern Oregon. Washington: Youth Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth In Vancouver, Wash. Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base ment o f Youth House. 1112 Columbia S t m Vancouver (John 360-695-1325) (7/04) Willamette Valley: Youth Gey» Lttsbfovta Bi, TnHtQondor irafl Queitioning Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support, information and fun in Eugene Free, confidential, adult- facilitated (Drop n 4-6 pm Fnday. Amazon Community Center. 2700 Hiyard St. 541-684-3466) (7704) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Traasgandar Youth Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday m Eugene (5 pm Komonta Center. 1414 Kincaid St. 541-3461134JCJ704) Rainbow Youth « a safe, confident»! support group for young gay men. lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, qaestioning and friends (68 pm Wednesday Micha Building. 690 State St . Salem www salemrainbowyouth org.) (7/04) outreach listings to ju s t o u t attn Calendar) • PO Box 14400 • Portland OR 97293 0400 Fax submissions to 5 0 3 -2 3 6 -1 2 5 7 or e mail ju sto ut@ justout.co m Submissions cannot be accepted over the phone • Please type yout announcements and include full contact information D ear M s . B ehavior : About three weeks ago I met a wonderful guy. We proceeded to embark on a passionate, tender romance: easy, fun, H O T and moving at light speed, including talking about trips together, meeting family and eventual cohabitation. We’ve even been using the word “boyfriend.” But at the end of week two, M starts to panic and requests that we take a step hack and date instead of buying rings already. His pattern, he says, is to meet someone, get totally caught up in the whirlwind and then hum out quickly, and he says he doesn’t want that to happen with me. The problem is, even though I have his words and hard prcxif (ahem) that he’s crazy about me, he wants “dating” to include other people. He wants to he sure it’s me he wants to he with. I say that dating other people isn’t going to help me get to know him bet ter. But if that’s what he wants, who am 1 to say no? Still, 1 think it would feel pretty awful to know he was out on a date when 1 was at home knit ting. Especially since 1 don’t know how. Do 1 risk losing M by saying, “No, I’m sorry, if you want to he with me, you can’t see other people”? Could this he a lesson in sur render? W hat should I do? — Tangled says, “I am a slob,” or “1 hate children," or “I’m cheap,” believe him! M told you that he typically gets caught up in a whirl wind and hums out quick ly. So, even if he has an endless hard-on for you, plans trips with you and whispers sonnets in your ear, remember the truth: He bum s out quickly. D ear M s . B ehavio r : A t first I thought my girlfriend, Nancy, was having an affair because a few m onths ago she started always smelling like, well, pussy. Turns out it’s hers, not someone else’s. We only have sex about once a month, hut her sex life with herself is pretty active. Often, as I’m falling asleep, I hear her masturbating. Last week I came home from work for lunch to find her going at it on the couch. I haven’t confronted her about why she’d rather do it herself than have sex with me. Maybe I’m afraid to know the answer. Should I say anything? —Spumed for Self-Love D ear S purned for S elf -L ove : T h e re ’s n othing wrong w ith coupled people m asturbating, hut if it’s at the expense of your sex life together, that makes it less...fun. You can talk about it w ithout m aking it into a confrontation. Let N ancy know th a t you’d like to have sex m ore often. She may have a big ger sex drive than you do and take m atters in to h er ow n hands. If you usually just play dead when you hear Nancy masturbating in bed, you might try som ething else, like, say, putting N ancy’s pussy-flavored fingers in your mouth. O r climbing on top and joining in her middle-of-the- night masturbation party. N ext time you have your monthly sex date, check in and make sure Nancy likes what you’re doing. Invite her to tell you what feels good to her. Make sure to talk a lot, in bed and out, and to do whatever helps you feel close to one another. If N ancy’s just not getting enough sex, these suggestions should help. If, however, she’s fantasizing about the next-door neighbor or the local bowl ing team, climbing on top of her probably won’t help. J H There's nothing wrong with coupled people masturbating ; but if it's at the expense of your sex life together , that makes it less..Iun D ear T angled : There’s nothing wrong with trying on a relationship, as if it’s a shoe, to see if it fits. The problem is that you want to try on one pair at a time, and M wants to try on every shoe in the store. W hen people continue to shop, it’s often because they haven’t found exactly what they’re looking for. O r they’re what car salesmen refer to as “tire kickers,” which means they’ll go out for a test ride and play with all the buttons and features, hut they have no intention of buying the car. Perhaps M has no idea what he wants, or he’s scared, or he has “inti macy issues." It doesn’t make him a bad person, hut you might get hurt, particularly if you think he’ll change for you. There’s nothing wrong with non monogamy. But if what you truly want is a monogamous relationship, you’d he better off looking for some one who wants the same thing instead of bending yourself into a pretzel, trying to accomnruxlate his needs. T he biggest problem m<»t people hav e in relationships stems from not listening to what someone says about himself in the beginning. If someone © Meryl C ohn 2004 M eryl C ohn is the author of Do W hat I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifflin) . Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or correspondence to msbehawor@aol .com. 33
